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Normalised Trauma?


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This post has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Abuse, Trauma

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Some people have physically and emotionally abused me. That has been confirmed and real. However, when I look back at the memories, I feel no pain. The fear, anxiety, and dread in that moment dissolved into feelings of nothingness. I still live life positively and I’m not depressed. I have no negative feelings towards the people who hurt me (in fact positive feelings). These things would be very painful and scary to most, and I don’t understand why I can’t feel it. My friends (who either have been abused or seen/helped people who have been so many times) tell me I’ve been traumatized. A says that I have numbed myself, which is the reason I can’t feel. E says that it is “normalised trauma” (which isn’t an official thing). He has seen it several times before. So… why can’t I feel? It’s not trauma, it’s the exact opposite (at least to me). All of my friends think I’m in denial. Help?

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This post has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Abuse, Trauma

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2 hours ago, willow-in-purple said:

Some people have physically and emotionally abused me. That has been confirmed and real. However, when I look back at the memories, I feel no pain. The fear, anxiety, and dread in that moment dissolved into feelings of nothingness. I still live life positively and I’m not depressed. I have no negative feelings towards the people who hurt me (in fact positive feelings). These things would be very painful and scary to most, and I don’t understand why I can’t feel it. My friends (who either have been abused or seen/helped people who have been so many times) tell me I’ve been traumatized. A says that I have numbed myself, which is the reason I can’t feel. E says that it is “normalised trauma” (which isn’t an official thing). He has seen it several times before. So… why can’t I feel? It’s not trauma, it’s the exact opposite (at least to me). All of my friends think I’m in denial. Help?

Hey Willow, 

I have jumped in and read your post, and I’ve tagged our trained mentors in for you, @Monsoon & @Blondie someone will reach out to you when they can!

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This post has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Abuse, Trauma

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7 hours ago, willow-in-purple said:

Some people have physically and emotionally abused me. That has been confirmed and real. However, when I look back at the memories, I feel no pain. The fear, anxiety, and dread in that moment dissolved into feelings of nothingness. I still live life positively and I’m not depressed. I have no negative feelings towards the people who hurt me (in fact positive feelings). These things would be very painful and scary to most, and I don’t understand why I can’t feel it. My friends (who either have been abused or seen/helped people who have been so many times) tell me I’ve been traumatized. A says that I have numbed myself, which is the reason I can’t feel. E says that it is “normalised trauma” (which isn’t an official thing). He has seen it several times before. So… why can’t I feel? It’s not trauma, it’s the exact opposite (at least to me). All of my friends think I’m in denial. Help?

Hello @willow-in-purple

Thank you for sharing this with us; it takes a lot of courage to open up about trauma, and it can be really scary facing it, but you’re doing the right thing for your well-being, and we are here to support you.

I just want to check before I go ahead, are you currently safe from the abuse? 

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