Emberfrost12 Posted February 28, 2022 Share Posted February 28, 2022 If someone criticises me, I always get to a point where I feel really low and think of anytime that criticism could have effected me another time, and then I feel like everyone really dislikes me and is only pretending to like me. It's the same when someone criticises someone else. I start to believe that I have the same problem. If someone compliments someone, I always feel like I have to try harder so that I can get similar compliments, and then think that I'm never going to be able to do what they did to earn a compliment. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted March 1, 2022 Share Posted March 1, 2022 Hey there, Thanks for telling me how you feel about criticism. I'm wondering, can you give me an example of something someone has said to you and how you reacted to that in particular? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emberfrost12 Posted March 1, 2022 Author Share Posted March 1, 2022 Just things like 'Maybe try to take longer strides for a layup' or 'show your work when you're doing math' make me tunnel into self-hate and if I am told I am doing something right, I discount it as 'they're just trying to be nice' or 'they just feel sorry' MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted March 2, 2022 Share Posted March 2, 2022 Hey. Thanks for explaining that. Why do you think it is that you respond negatively to criticism like that? What thoughts and feelings do you have when it happens? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emberfrost12 Posted March 2, 2022 Author Share Posted March 2, 2022 13 hours ago, Monsoon said: Hey. Thanks for explaining that. Why do you think it is that you respond negatively to criticism like that? What thoughts and feelings do you have when it happens? it's probably because that's how I was bullied last year- my bully kept telling me that I wasn't good enough, and telling me everything I did wrong. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted March 3, 2022 Share Posted March 3, 2022 Ah, okay, that makes sense. It's really hard to not take those kinds of messages on board, but remember, there was a time when you didn't feel like this, and you can go back to that. What do you think? What will help you to get to a better place with your confidence? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emberfrost12 Posted March 4, 2022 Author Share Posted March 4, 2022 I don't know if there was I time I didn't feel like this. I'm pretty sure I started having these feelings when my teacher indicated that I wasn't good enough when I was six, and being bullied just made it worse. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted March 5, 2022 Share Posted March 5, 2022 Hey, Okay, so it seems like you developed these thoughts and feelings about yourself due to negative experiences, like being bullied and being told you weren’t good enough. What do you think about that? What would help you to feel better? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emberfrost12 Posted March 5, 2022 Author Share Posted March 5, 2022 That sounds right. I'm not sure what would make me feel better though. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted March 6, 2022 Share Posted March 6, 2022 19 hours ago, Emberfrost12 said: That sounds right. I'm not sure what would make me feel better though. Hey, There are plenty of things you can do, and that's what I'm here for :) As a starting point, would you like to have a look at our support guide here and let me know what you think? https://www.ditchthelabel.org/overcoming-low-self-esteem/ MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emberfrost12 Posted March 6, 2022 Author Share Posted March 6, 2022 I read through it a couple times and I’ll try a couple of those things. I do fight myself when I’m thinking negatively about myself, but i rarely win. So, what should I do about that? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted March 6, 2022 Share Posted March 6, 2022 Hey, Can you tell me more about how you fight yourself? Is it physically or emotionally? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emberfrost12 Posted March 6, 2022 Author Share Posted March 6, 2022 Emotionally MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted March 7, 2022 Share Posted March 7, 2022 Hey, So when you fight yourself, what thoughts and feelings are you having? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emberfrost12 Posted March 7, 2022 Author Share Posted March 7, 2022 It’s usually a lot of ‘you’re useless’ ‘no I’m not’ ‘then explain this’ and so on and so forth. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted March 7, 2022 Share Posted March 7, 2022 Okay, thanks for sharing that. It sounds like you may need to consciously remember to be kind to yourself, what do you think? For that example, what could be a more positive way of talking to yourself? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emberfrost12 Posted March 7, 2022 Author Share Posted March 7, 2022 I’m not quite sure MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted March 7, 2022 Share Posted March 7, 2022 That's okay! So, it sounds like 'I'm useless' is one of your negative beliefs about yourself, and I'm wondering, can you tell me a positive belief you have that you could replace that negative thought with? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emberfrost12 Posted March 8, 2022 Author Share Posted March 8, 2022 I honestly can't think of anything... MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted March 8, 2022 Share Posted March 8, 2022 16 hours ago, Emberfrost12 said: I honestly can't think of anything... That's okay! Instead then, can you tell me two examples of when you've been useful and/or made a positive impact? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emberfrost12 Posted March 8, 2022 Author Share Posted March 8, 2022 1. On here I thiiink I’ve made a positive impact 2. I’ve helped a lot of my friends figure stuff out and have been helping peers with school. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted March 8, 2022 Share Posted March 8, 2022 Hey, They are great examples. I'd love to find out more information about these two points to learn more about your strengths and special qualities if that's okay? 1. Can you tell me about the positive impact you've made here? 2. What special qualities that you have do you think help you to support your friends? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emberfrost12 Posted March 9, 2022 Author Share Posted March 9, 2022 1. I think that I've helped some people with issues relating to sexuality and gender 2. Maybe just my ability to listen and offer possible solutions to problems MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted March 9, 2022 Share Posted March 9, 2022 16 hours ago, Emberfrost12 said: 1. I think that I've helped some people with issues relating to sexuality and gender 2. Maybe just my ability to listen and offer possible solutions to problems Hey, They are perfect, thanks for sharing. In order to change the way we think about ourselves, we have to really notice when we are being hard on ourselves and make a conscious effort to be kinder. So, for the next week, I'm wondering, when you have these negative thoughts, could you replace them with kinder ones, like the two you've just given? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emberfrost12 Posted March 9, 2022 Author Share Posted March 9, 2022 Sure, I'll try that MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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