olivetebunny Posted February 24, 2022 Share Posted February 24, 2022 This post has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Abuse, Mental Illness, Trauma Click this notice to reveal the content. I’m just trying to have a good day and my brain decides I can’t be happy and that it wants to throw all my trauma right back in my face. Like it always happens, especially when I see my “friend” (abusive) and I can’t ever get it to go away. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted February 24, 2022 Share Posted February 24, 2022 Hey there, It's interesting that you said your brain decides you can't be happy. Can you tell me more about that? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olivetebunny Posted February 26, 2022 Author Share Posted February 26, 2022 On 2/24/2022 at 11:53 AM, Monsoon said: Hey there, It's interesting that you said your brain decides you can't be happy. Can you tell me more about that? I don’t know really. The way I word everything just confuses everybody. I guess I just mean I’ll be happy and 2 seconds later I just remember all the abusive stuff that’s happened to me. Like idk I just end up saying it’s all my fault and guilt tripping myself, there’s that evil part of my brain that I can’t push away. It always says terrible things not just about me but about others and I can’t ever get it to go away. I just pretend it’s not there and hope it will go away. I hate it cause I’m not trying to think what it’s saying but it’s just there in the back of my mind. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted February 26, 2022 Share Posted February 26, 2022 Thank you for explaining that so well. I saw what you said about how you end up guilt tripping yourself, and I'm wondering, can you tell me about some of the things you blame yourself for? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olivetebunny Posted February 26, 2022 Author Share Posted February 26, 2022 38 minutes ago, Monsoon said: Thank you for explaining that so well. I saw what you said about how you end up guilt tripping yourself, and I'm wondering, can you tell me about some of the things you blame yourself for? I hate going over this one but the faster I do it the faster the thought goes away. I’m not going to try and go into detail cause the more I talk the more it hurts so it’s just gonna be vaguely described things.. my parents fight, I’m always in the middle, hm.. my parents financial problems (aka my dad) idk just family shit going on in general (excuse my language, couldn’t censor that one) ig that’s it , sounds like nothing when I write it down but it’s a whole lot worse than it sounds MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted February 27, 2022 Share Posted February 27, 2022 Hey there, I don't want you to feel more hurt than necessary, so if you don't want to talk about this, then there is absolutely no pressure to do so. One thing I will say though is that although it may hurt at first to open up, in the long run, it will get better for you by opening up more. What do you think? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olivetebunny Posted February 27, 2022 Author Share Posted February 27, 2022 1 hour ago, Monsoon said: Hey there, I don't want you to feel more hurt than necessary, so if you don't want to talk about this, then there is absolutely no pressure to do so. One thing I will say though is that although it may hurt at first to open up, in the long run, it will get better for you by opening up more. What do you think? It’s probably better to open up, I think I was just feeling way crappier then than I do now. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted February 27, 2022 Share Posted February 27, 2022 Yeah, I totally get that. It can be really hard to open up at first as revisiting those feelings and memories can make us feel like we are right back in that emotional place, but it does get easier. Would you like to talk in more detail then? It's completely up to you of course, and I will be respectful of any boundary. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olivetebunny Posted March 2, 2022 Author Share Posted March 2, 2022 On 2/27/2022 at 9:36 AM, Monsoon said: Yeah, I totally get that. It can be really hard to open up at first as revisiting those feelings and memories can make us feel like we are right back in that emotional place, but it does get easier. Would you like to talk in more detail then? It's completely up to you of course, and I will be respectful of any boundary. Yeah I guess. Doesn’t help to close off tbh cause I’ve been doing it my whole life and it never helps. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted March 2, 2022 Share Posted March 2, 2022 Yeah, I think you're doing the right thing. Opening up really helps us to move forward. I'm wondering then, what would you say is troubling you the most? It can be helpful to start with the biggest thing and then talk through the smaller bits afterwards. What do you think? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olivetebunny Posted March 4, 2022 Author Share Posted March 4, 2022 On 3/2/2022 at 12:23 PM, Monsoon said: Yeah, I think you're doing the right thing. Opening up really helps us to move forward. I'm wondering then, what would you say is troubling you the most? It can be helpful to start with the biggest thing and then talk through the smaller bits afterwards. What do you think? I honestly don’t even know, tbh it’s all just a jumble of problems I don’t think one is worse than the other, MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted March 5, 2022 Share Posted March 5, 2022 That’s okay, and feeling this way is totally normal when you’ve got so much going on. I’m wondering then, would you like to pick something to talk about first anyway? It can be a positive experience to work through each thing one by one where possible and can give you a sense of control in a way. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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