I’m sad

[Okayidk]

It’s been a year since I left my ex who’s abused me off and on for seven years, so it’s been a whole year since I met my friends that I’ve hung out with. I’ve had this one friend that I knew in high school (let’s call him matt) and even back then I was always made fun of. Most of the time they only call up our other mutual friends and only talk to me when we went out. Recently they hurt my feelings and when I approached him they basically invalidated my feelings. They’re now somehow confused as to why I stopped talking but all I want is a I’m sorry like I’ve done before. They’re acting like I’ve hurt them by unfollowing me and everything. Now I can’t hang out with our group anymore. It just makes me realize I have no real friends, I’m not worth apologizing to and keeping in their life. I’m just a back ground character. I just want disassociate myself from everyone. I recently stopped smoking and now I just want to smoke but I really don’t want to relapse. I can’t eat my depression gets in the way and it super hard for me to reply or keep friends so this really hard on me, I guess it’s my attachment issues. I can’t afford therapy or meds and I just want to feel like I’m enough, this feels like I deserve to be lonely.

[Daisie]

Hey Okayidk, I see you’re new here on the forum, so would just like to give you a warm welcome, I hope you’re well.

I am Daisie and I’m a Community Warden here on the forums, ensuring the community stays a safe and positive place for all.

I am going to tag our Mentors in to this so they can offer you some support, if you’d like that?

@Monsoon @Blondie

Hope to see you around! 

[Monsoon]

17 hours ago, Okayidk said:

It’s been a year since I left my ex who’s abused me off and on for seven years, so it’s been a whole year since I met my friends that I’ve hung out with. I’ve had this one friend that I knew in high school (let’s call him matt) and even back then I was always made fun of. Most of the time they only call up our other mutual friends and only talk to me when we went out. Recently they hurt my feelings and when I approached him they basically invalidated my feelings. They’re now somehow confused as to why I stopped talking but all I want is a I’m sorry like I’ve done before. They’re acting like I’ve hurt them by unfollowing me and everything. Now I can’t hang out with our group anymore. It just makes me realize I have no real friends, I’m not worth apologizing to and keeping in their life. I’m just a back ground character. I just want disassociate myself from everyone. I recently stopped smoking and now I just want to smoke but I really don’t want to relapse. I can’t eat my depression gets in the way and it super hard for me to reply or keep friends so this really hard on me, I guess it’s my attachment issues. I can’t afford therapy or meds and I just want to feel like I’m enough, this feels like I deserve to be lonely.

Hey there,

Welcome to our community. I'm one of the digital mentors here and I give advice and support to those who reach out to us. It sounds like you're going through a big change in your life having left your abusive ex, and now having your friends treat you like this. How are you feeling about everything? I noticed what you said about how you're not worth apologising to and being kept in their lives, and I wondered, the way they have reacted, could that reflect their maturity in the sense of not being able to acknowledge and apologise, rather than it meaning you're not worth apologising to? I guess some people just find it hard to own up and say sorry, and denying responsibility is often the easier way forward. What do you think?