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I have lost the chance to be okay


Lillyx
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I was 5 months from self injuring myself and I was proud on how well i was going from injuring and feeling like i wanted to die. Recently, things happened in my life which made me feel out of control and I self harmed and I feel guilty I feel a mistake to others and I can't stop performing those actions.
I was in and out of the state whether I should carry on hating the world or not but I was so unsure so came on to a suicide forum ( here to explain myself ) and I feel a little better but in so much agony since hurting myself.
I can't explain why I feel like I deserved to hurt myself that night or why I did it i felt so wound up in my head to make me feel out of control so i ended up doing it and i regret it and i am at fault for this so i caused my own fate and pain :( I am so stupid. I ruined my life now and I can't do anything about it.
I want to get better I really do but now I feel my life can't become stable enough for me to move on because I self harmed that night and I just can't seem to forgive myself for doing it as I was making good plans ahead now I have ruined everything :(
I never knew something so minor can make my life feel like it is the end, i am so tired and I can't decide if i want to bother trying to over power the urges to self harm by trying to be clean from causing battle scars on my body. I am stuck what the heck to do, sorry if i have ranted on I am sorry.

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  • Digital Mentor

Hello Lilly,

I just want let you know that I have reached out to you via private message to support you with this. For anyone who is struggling with their mental health and feels like they need someone to talk to urgently, here are some support lines you can reach out to if you're in a crisis:

 

  • UK - The Samaritans: 116 123 (24/7 service)
  • USA - NSPL: 1-800-273-8255
  • A list of worldwide crisis lines: https://www.befrienders.org
  • An app I can recommend: https://www.prevent-suicide.org.uk/find-help-now/stay-alive-app/ this has safety plans to make sure you don't harm yourself and you might find it useful. 
  • If you’re in the UK, you can text SHOUT to 85258 when you are struggling, and a trained crisis volunteer will text you back. This is great if you find talking on the phone challenging, and it’s completely free 24/7

 

digital-mentor.png.37594766624d87064910e

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1 hour ago, Monsoon said:

Hello Lilly,

I just want let you know that I have reached out to you via private message to support you with this. For anyone who is struggling with their mental health and feels like they need someone to talk to urgently, here are some support lines you can reach out to if you're in a crisis:

  • UK - The Samaritans: 116 123 (24/7 service)
  • USA - NSPL: 1-800-273-8255
  • A list of worldwide crisis lines: https://www.befrienders.org
  • An app I can recommend: https://www.prevent-suicide.org.uk/find-help-now/stay-alive-app/ this has safety plans to make sure you don't harm yourself and you might find it useful. 
  • If you’re in the UK, you can text SHOUT to 85258 when you are struggling, and a trained crisis volunteer will text you back. This is great if you find talking on the phone challenging, and it’s completely free 24/7

thank you. just feel out of control n i cant do this anymore 😞 

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