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This post has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Self-Harm

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Hi! I'm Emberfrost12 and new here. My parents don't respect my gender at all, and with every male/nb day (I'm genderfluid,) my chest dysphoria gets worse. I've been self harming quite a bit recently, too 

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hey same here due to my daughter going to hospital but hugs I'm Lilly btw and I'm 16!

5 minutes ago, Emberfrost12 said:

Hi! I'm Emberfrost12 and new here. My parents don't respect my gender at all, and with every male/nb day (I'm genderfluid,) my chest dysphoria gets worse. I've been self harming quite a bit recently, too 

 

Keep smiling beautiful 

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This post has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Self-Harm

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5 hours ago, Emberfrost12 said:

Hi! I'm Emberfrost12 and new here. My parents don't respect my gender at all, and with every male/nb day (I'm genderfluid,) my chest dysphoria gets worse. I've been self harming quite a bit recently, too 

Hey there,

Welcome. I'm sorry to hear about your parents and the self-harming. Can I ask, does this mean that you've come out to them then? Also, it must be hard for you to talk about the self-harming, but I'm grateful that you've chosen this space to open up in. Can I ask, when you do the self harming, how does it make you feel? 

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Yes, im out. And self-harming makes me feel in control and less numb

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Hey there.

Thank you for telling me that. Can I ask, does anyone else know about the self-harming? I guess I just want to figure out if you're safe or not, because your safety is our number one priority. Also, how are you feeling about everything today? 

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Yes, a couple people know, but only people i completely trust. My day was average, so...it could have been better. one thing thats been stressing me out is that math and science are one class, and im doing grade 8 math in a grade 7 class, and im expected to do just as well in science.

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12 hours ago, Emberfrost12 said:

Yes, a couple people know, but only people i completely trust. My day was average, so...it could have been better. one thing thats been stressing me out is that math and science are one class, and im doing grade 8 math in a grade 7 class, and im expected to do just as well in science.

Hey,

I'm glad to hear that a couple of people know. How did it feel telling them? I'm just wondering, are you wanting to reduce or stop the self harming? If so, I can give you some advice, so just let me know.

Also, thanks for telling me about what's going on with math and science. It sounds like you're under some pressure and stress at the moment, especially with what you were telling me about the chest dysphoria you're experiencing. I'm thinking, would you like to tell me a little bit more about that? It's completely okay if you don't, as I can imagine that it's hard for you to talk about, but I just thought I would try to check in. I hope to hear back from you soon. 

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Hey there,

That's really good that you do want to stop. I'm wondering, what has helped you to stop in the past? I think that self-harming, as you said, can help people to cope, such as feeling in control and less numb, and the reason we are doing it is to help us deal with challenging emotions, so one way can be to work with those emotions as well. I'm wondering, would you like me to suggest some ways that you can help your mental health too? 

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11 hours ago, Emberfrost12 said:

I think that what happened last time is that school finished and i wasn't stressed, and yes, i would like some tips for my mental health

Hi there,

Just jumping in to share these tips with you: https://www.ditchthelabel.org/how-to-look-after-mental-health/ 

Plus we have an entire hub full of useful mental health resources here: https://www.ditchthelabel.org/mental-health-support-hub/ 

Let us know what you think.

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5 hours ago, Emberfrost12 said:

So, my dysphoria has been bad lately to the point where i cant bring myself to look in a mirror. Any advice??

Hey, when this happens I would allow yourself to acknowledge that and to not try and force it. Many people who experience this say they cover/avoid mirrors as much as they can while they're feeling this way but at the same time, they try and remind themselves of all the things they do like/love about their body until the intensity of it fades or passes. As much as you are able to, practice self-care so do all the things that make you feel good. Does that make sense? 

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Hey, so just an update. My mom's been telling me to 'give in to being female' and she's been a lot stricter and has been yelling at me and my brother a lot more lately, especially since my dad moved out.  It doesn't help that my brother isn't doing well in school and is trying to get in to collage/university. My mom involves me in every argument, and I just cant handle it. 

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Hey there,

Sorry to hear that things have been more difficult lately. It sounds like you're feeling a bit overwhelmed at home right now, is that right? I'm wondering, have you spoken to your mom about how you're feeling? 

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Can I ask how you've approached it before? Have you had a dedicated time to sit down together or just casually brought it up? 

It would be good to see if we can suggest an approach that might help.

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Sometimes it's best to try and choose a time when you have her full attention. When she's not too busy, ask her if you can find some time to have a talk. Obviously your family will have their own routines, but you might say for example on a Thursday evening "Hey, can we spend some time together on Saturday afternoon. I'd really like to talk to you about something and would really like your input."

Adapt it to suit yours and your mom's schedules so you have her undivided attention which immediately removes a certain amount of pressure if say, she's tired. If it helps, have a few notes/prompters so you don't forget what you want to say and then try again. It's usually good to say what you want to say (i.e. I identify as.... this is really important to me... it would mean so much if you would use <insert the pronouns that you use) pronouns and/or if you would acknowledge and respect my identity.

This way, out should open things up a bit. Depending on how you feel, you could ask if she has any questions - does she want to learn more - does she have any concerns?

How does that sound?

 

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