A human being Posted August 28, 2021 Share Posted August 28, 2021 hey, im back! i came out to a few friends and family, but i was wondering if i could have some help with labelling? i definitely feel attracted to both girls and guys, but i don't find guys attractive unless i already know them/ am friends with them. basically, i just dont find guys hot, but i do still develop crushes on guys who ive known for a while. a couple of my straight friends (who im out to as bi) keep asking me why dont think x boy is hot and thinking that im not actually bisexual im just gay but not ready to come to terms with it, and i have to explain to them that i do feel attraction towards men, just not because they are 'hot'. i was just wondering if there was a more specific label i could use? im tired of everyone just disregarding my sexuality just because im not your typical 50/50 bisexual. sorry if thats hard to understand im not really great with explaining MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted August 29, 2021 Share Posted August 29, 2021 Hey @A human being It's nice to hear from you again. How was it coming out to some friends and family? By the way, you explained all of that really well. I'm wondering, have you heard of the term demisexual? This is where people find it hard to have a 'crush' on someone if they aren't emotionally connected to them. So, by getting to know someone and liking their personality, you then find it easier to be sexually attracted to them. What do you think? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A human being Posted August 29, 2021 Author Share Posted August 29, 2021 hey, thanks so much for the reply. i've only really come out to people who i thought would be fine with it (my mum and a few friends) and they were all really accepting. one of my friends is also gay, so i think that it was a lot easier to talk to her about it. i think that demisexual describes my attraction to guys really well, although im not sure if im the same way with other girls- i don't seem to feel like i need to know the person well to have a crush on them, but i do for guys. is that a thing? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted August 30, 2021 Share Posted August 30, 2021 Hey @A human being I'm really glad to hear they were really accepting - how does it feel for you now that you've told some people? Also, yes, it's totally a thing to be able to have a crush on someone without knowing them. I think that with being demiromantic, it can include being attracted to two genders in the different ways that you are. How do you feel about this? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A human being Posted August 31, 2021 Author Share Posted August 31, 2021 That sounds great, thank you so much for all the help. I really feel a lot better now I’ve told some people, I guess because I don’t have to be hiding a bit part of me from them anymore. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted September 1, 2021 Share Posted September 1, 2021 Hey, I'm glad to hear that you are feeling better after telling some people. When we keep something like this in for so long, you're right, it does feel like you're hiding a part of yourself, and people find it so freeing to tell other people. What do you think the next step is on your journey? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A human being Posted September 1, 2021 Author Share Posted September 1, 2021 I think I’ll probably come out to a few more of my friends, maybe get a pride pin or something. I’ve been dropping a few hints, and that’s really helped me with coming out to people because often it means that they already sort of know, and I find it takes some of the pressure off. For example, my home screen is a subtle bi flag, which my best friend noticed (among other things) so it was very easy to come out to her. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted September 2, 2021 Share Posted September 2, 2021 Hey, Yeah, it's really good to drop hints as this can mean that people are more prepared when you come out if they need to be. Would you mind sharing some of the other things you've done to drop hints? I'm thinking that this will be helpful for other people who are in a similar situation to you MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A human being Posted September 2, 2021 Author Share Posted September 2, 2021 (edited) Yeah sure. A lot of them had to do with pride flags and colours (which worked for all my friends who know about those), for example I often put in my bio for socials, also just generally casually bringing stuff up about lgbtq+ in conversation. If I’m talking with my friends about crushes and stuff, i generally won’t specify gender etc. I was also thinking of getting a pride pin or something similar. Hope this helps people! (btw if the emojis don’t show up on some devices they’re hearts in bi pride colours) Edited September 2, 2021 by A human being MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted September 4, 2021 Share Posted September 4, 2021 Hey @A human being Thank you for sharing those with us; I'm sure your suggestions will help other people who want to start dropping hints How are you doing today? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A human being Posted September 13, 2021 Author Share Posted September 13, 2021 hey, sorry i havent been online in a while. a couple of days ago I came out to another of my friends, and signed up to my school's lgbt society! i ended up getting a pride badge, and i'm not really hiding my sexuality anymore- if someone notices, then fine by me. there are still a few friends who i havent come out to yet because i'm not sure how they'll react, but i think that i'll tell them soon, as well as most of my family. thanks so much for all the help here xx MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted September 14, 2021 Share Posted September 14, 2021 Hey @A human being That's great How does it feel being out to more people now? It can feel so freeing when we start telling more people, so I hope you're feeling better about things now Is there anything else you'd like support with at the moment? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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