Sexuality

[Xany]

Hi . My name is Xaney . I'm a senior high school student . I have been having difficulties understanding my sexuality . Since I was age 10 I realised that I  liked girls  , my first relationship was with a.female and I had genuine feelings . When I started high school I developed an interest in boys.  I then started to believe that I might be heterosexual. When time started to pass I realised that I did not have a problem dating any gender . Since my first relationship  I have been dating boys. After some time  I realised I have a lack of sexual interest in any gender though I crave romance and I'm a hopeless romantic .I initially thought I was Bisexual now I'm torn apart. Advice please !! . What is my sexual orientation 

[Monsoon]

Hey @Xany

Welcome to our community. I'm one of the digital mentors here and I give advice and support to those who reach out to us

Thank you for telling us that you're having difficulties understanding your sexuality. It can be so tricky when we don't understand, as it's in our nature to know our identity fully. I just want to say that this will get better for you; it might not seem like it now, but with time comes knowledge and understanding, and with this kind of thing, it really is a process that you have to find trust in and be patient with. It won't be like this forever - what do you think? I'm wondering, do you have any sexual attraction at all? 

[Xany]

I do feel sexual attraction , and it's very little . Most often it's not there

[Monsoon]

Hey @Xany

Thanks for letting me know. If I ask anything that you're not comfortable answering, please just say. I'm wondering, have you heard the term asexual before? This is used to describe someone who has a low level of sexual attraction to others, if any at all. There is a difference between sexual and romantic attraction, and as you said, you definitely have that romantic side, an a little sexual attraction too. What do you reckon? 

[Xany]

I have heard the term asexual , I first thought I was . Now I don't it . But as you said , I will just give it time

[Monsoon]

Hey,

Ah, fair enough, Yeah, realising your sexuality can take time, and there's no way to speed it up. The more patient you can be with it, the more you will enjoy the journey. Also, some people aren't bothered about finding a label - they are just happy enough with knowing what they like and what they don't. What do you think about that? 

[legallyAnya]

My personal experience is similar to what you described. I consider myself somewhere on the asexual spectrum, even if I don't fit in perfectly, "grey ace" I suppose. It's only when trying to describe my preferences to other people that I try to look for a label for it. I think the spectrum of human sexualities and personalities is so broad and fluid, that there aren't yet words for everything. 

[Monsoon]

21 hours ago, legallyAnya said:

My personal experience is similar to what you described. I consider myself somewhere on the asexual spectrum, even if I don't fit in perfectly, "grey ace" I suppose. It's only when trying to describe my preferences to other people that I try to look for a label for it. I think the spectrum of human sexualities and personalities is so broad and fluid, that there aren't yet words for everything. 

This is such a good point. I think that it's completely natural to want to find a label for your identity, but at the same time, there are so many people who are cool with just letting that go and aren't fussed about naming. I guess everyone is different and it's all about doing what's right for you isn't it. What do you reckon?