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I think I’ll ask this here but I need help


ArtemisArt    

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During the school year ( which is thankfully over) there was a group of kids at my school ( which is small less than 100 kids in the middle and high school combined ) all Pansexual or Bisexual who if you where not in the LGBTQ+ community and was unsure of a term ( like Pansexual ) you where homophobic or if you where uncertain if you where bi, pan, gay etc. you where automatically homophobic AND transphobic is their mind and I have always been really supportive but uncertain of my sexual orientation until recently when I realized I’m bi but my problem is that not only did the group label me as homophobic and transphobic but I also am afraid of letting anyone at my school know that I am bi in fear of being associated with the group. Please help  

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Hello @Saphira

Thank you for sharing this with us. It's interesting that they label people as homophobic if they aren't in the LGBTQ+ community and unsure of terms or even their own sexuality. I wonder, are you close to any of the kids in the group? It sounds like they're being quite harsh and to be honest, I wouldn't bother myself too much about what they think. Out of curiosity, can I ask, why do you not want to be associated with the group? I have an idea from what you've said already, but I thought I'd check it out anyway. Speak soon. 

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Not close to any of them in fact in third grade one of them threatened to kill me ( we are now in ninth grade and I have fully forgiven them) and  not only do I not want to be associated with them because of the main issues but they also bully me and a few other kids for not fitting in ( me mainly because I am a total nerd have “exotic” pets and don’t really have very many friends) and sometimes it’s hard to tell if the group is trying to be friendly or mean 

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Hey @Saphira

Ah, I'm sorry to hear that they are bullying you and a few other kids. How are you feeling about this? I hope you're okay; we are here to talk. I'm wondering, have you told any teachers at school what they are doing? They will be able to help you with this. But yeah, I completely get why you don't want to be associated with them. I'm thinking that people at school will be able to see that you don't hang around with them, meaning that they don't see you as part of the group or anything like that. What do you reckon?

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I hope that is the case but my school is so small ( the whole high school is a single hallway and has mabey 50 kids ) so it’s hard to not look like your hanging out with someone even if you never talk to them and most kids don’t like me as I’m the out of town kid with weird pets and hardly any friends as well as being a nerd who tends to win most class knowledge competitions which are typically rewarded with a candy bar. It wouldn’t even surprise me if they say I’m fakeing just to fit in with someone 

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Hey @Saphira

Ah, yeah, I get what you're saying about how it's hard to not look like you're hanging out with someone. I'm curios to know, what makes you think that most kids don't like you? Also, what are your friends at school like? :)

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Most of the time straight to my face tell me they don’t like me and as for my friends at school I had some but last school year we drifted apart and don’t talk much anymore I only have two other friends but they don’t go to the same school I get to see one of them once a week but my other friend sometimes I don’t see him for months at a time but we talk on the phone a lot 

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Hey,

Sorry to hear the the kids treat you this way; that's pretty hurtful for them to just come out with it like that - I hope you're okay. I wonder, could you try to get back in touch with your friends at school that you lost touch with? It might help you to feel better about coming out? 

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Maybe I don’t know after they started dating they would only talk about boyfriends when I was going to start dating and we just kinda drifted apart 

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Hey @Saphira

Ah, I get that. I guess I should have asked first, do you want to get back in touch with the friend at school? We can help you figure out how to do it if you do actually want to reconnect with them. 

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