i feel pathetic

[stefania]

hii, i'm 17 and i recently had an music exam. i got a good grade but somehow it doesn't make me happy in any way. i keep comparing my work to others people work and i feel bad about what i've acomplished. i know i can do better but i can't get myself to work harder. i don't know how to stop myself feeling like this. i feel like i'm a lost cause. if you guys got any tips, please help me, that would be great. love you all

[Monsoon]

Hey @stefania

Welcome to our community. I'm one of the digital mentors here and I give advice to those who reach out to us. 

Thank you for telling me about how you've been feeling recently. I think that this is something that many of us experience, but we can get through it. We all have the power within ourselves to take charge of the way we think; we just have to really work hard on the way we look at things and try to not seek validation from other people; it has to come from within. I'm aware that it can be hard to know how to do this, and it is something that just takes time and reflection - speaking to others and asking them for advice helps too. It's good to hear that you know you can do better; self-love is self-care. Having the belief that you can work through this will help you out so much. 

I'm wondering, how long have you been feeling like this? Do you have an idea where these kinds of feelings might have started? 

[Mammu]

Heyya! A fellow musician here! So, I think as artists, we all go through that phase of self-doubt. I've had it, multiple times, and still have. All my other artist friends have had some level of self-doubt at some point. There is just one exception to those artists and that's the ones who don't self-doubt. Can you guess how those people could be described as well? Yep, narcissists. Self-doubt isn't a bad thing, it's a good thing. It's kinda similar to a fever. And how do you deal with a fever? Yep, you do nothing, if the fever is not that high. Same with self-doubt. If you have some amount of self-doubt, then that's healthy. Let your mind work around it itself and you can push it forward a bit by, for example, looking at how far you've come. Listen to some stuff that you have composed previously and just look at how far you've come and how much progress you've made! Because I guarantee you, you have made a lot progress.

On the other hand, if the fever is high and you have a lot of self-doubt then that's not healthy anymore. So, what do we do when a fever is high? We take medication. You know what is the best medication for self-doubt? Compliments from other people and yourself. So, here are some: you are amazing. Your music is amazing, even though I haven't heard it, I know it's amazing. Also, that good grade you got? I'm so proud of you! That is amazing! I'm so happy for you!

I hope this helps! I know how you feel and just know, you are not alone in this! We artists (who aren't narcissists) are here with you!

[Blondie]

6 hours ago, Mammu said:

Heyya! A fellow musician here! So, I think as artists, we all go through that phase of self-doubt. I've had it, multiple times, and still have. All my other artist friends have had some level of self-doubt at some point. There is just one exception to those artists and that's the ones who don't self-doubt. Can you guess how those people could be described as well? Yep, narcissists. Self-doubt isn't a bad thing, it's a good thing. It's kinda similar to a fever. And how do you deal with a fever? Yep, you do nothing, if the fever is not that high. Same with self-doubt. If you have some amount of self-doubt, then that's healthy. Let your mind work around it itself and you can push it forward a bit by, for example, looking at how far you've come. Listen to some stuff that you have composed previously and just look at how far you've come and how much progress you've made! Because I guarantee you, you have made a lot progress.

On the other hand, if the fever is high and you have a lot of self-doubt then that's not healthy anymore. So, what do we do when a fever is high? We take medication. You know what is the best medication for self-doubt? Compliments from other people and yourself. So, here are some: you are amazing. Your music is amazing, even though I haven't heard it, I know it's amazing. Also, that good grade you got? I'm so proud of you! That is amazing! I'm so happy for you!

I hope this helps! I know how you feel and just know, you are not alone in this! We artists (who aren't narcissists) are here with you!

I love this advice!!!