How do I help my dad understand that life is hard having 5 different disabilities??

[Horseygirl]

My dad doesn't seem to understand that life is quite difficult having ADHD, PTSD, Separation Anxiety, Anxiety itself, and ASD. I've tried numerous times to explain it to him. He thinks my life is a breeze because I get 'moderated' work at school, and people help me with 'basic' stuff that apparently I should be able to do myself. What do I do?? I'm currently also dealing with depression and my dad being aggressive, yelling at me, etc is not helping. My mum sides with him a lot too. Really the only person who is on my side in our house, is my sister who is 14 months younger than me.

[Monsoon]

Hey @Horseygirl

 

Thanks for telling me about what's going on for you at the moment. It must be frustrating for you to feel like your dad doesn't understand how hard things can be for you. I'm wondering, is there anyone else other than your sister who understands how hard it is for you, like a teacher perhaps? If so, it might be good to ask if they can explain to him how hard it is for you having five disabilities. In situations like this, family members can think that the person is trying to milk it and are just being dramatic, and having someone on the outside that isn't emotionally involved e.g.,a teacher, can really get through to them. What do you think?

 

Also, when you say he is being aggressive, what is happening? Are you okay?

[Horseygirl]

Hey, @Monsoon That's a good idea. My mum understands how tough life is for me, and she knows how to help me with said disabilities. Usually, when I need someone to talk to that isn't a family member, I go to the school councillor and talk to her about what's been going on. Also, when I said my dad is aggressive, I just meant that he yells a lot and gets really stressed out (a lot of the yelling and getting stressed is mainly because of his job. He's a cop and I can't say I know what it's like in that job, but I CAN say that I know it is a VERY stressful job.) I'm okay and am not in any danger. My parents would never ever ever hurt me. They're not like that - they're really good parents I just wish I knew how to get it through to my dad that life isn't a piece of cake for me.

[Monsoon]

Hey @Horseygirl

 

Nice to hear from you

 

Ah, that's good that your mum understands you, and to be honest, it might be that your dad is taking his stress and frustrations out on you. I'm wondering, could you get your school counsellor to maybe have a chat with him? Or could you maybe write him a letter/make a video about how hard it is for you? Then, once you give it to him, you could say that he can take some time before you talk about it. Both solutions might give him the clarity he needs. What do you think?