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Anxious of the future


Jazt6
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This post has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Mental Illness

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Lately, with what is happening in the world, there is a lot of anxiety. I suffer with anxiety as it is and the situation is very difficult for those diagnosed and undiagnosed, with all this spare time and news coverage of all the negative digits and talk of the future it has got me more anxious than usual. I have always wanted kids, I'm 16 but I think about it a lot and I day dream about my future and how it will be and it looks really nice because I'm quite hopeful, but I was telling my boyfriend and he told me to be realistic, so I thought about what the future would really be like and I got so anxious I had an attack, I was shaking, crying, finding it difficult to breathe, all I could think about was if that's what the future will be like why do I want one? Me day dreaming about my future is one of the things i depend on for my motivation in life, the thing that keeps me going, to push myself so I can have a healthy, sustainable lifestyle when I grow up. But now I'm not feeling so hopeful. I'm not sure if anyone else has felt this way so I put it on here because this seems like a good community to share on with people who might understand. :) stay safe everyone! Stay at home!

Edited by Daisie
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  • Digital Mentor

Hi JAZT6,

 

Thanks for coming to us for support at Community - we are here for you :)

 

I'm concerned about your mental state right now with you saying "if that's what the future will be like why do I want one?". I'm wondering if you are in crisis and need support. Do you plan to take your own life? It is okay to feel like this but remember that feelings can change, and this feeling may pass.

 

We really want to let you know that you are not alone. Can you please let us know as soon as possible if you are okay or not? Once we know this, we can then support you further. Your safety is the number one priority at this time.

 

We support Monday - Friday, 9am - 5.30pm (BST) via our community and there are more options below:

 

UK: The Samaritans - 116 123 (This is a 24/7 service)

USA: NSPL - 1-800-273-8255 (This is a 24/7 service)

This link will give you a list of all crisis lines worldwide: https://www.befrienders.org

 

You can also call your GP or go to any accident and emergency department and ask for help.

 

Stay safe and hopefully speak soon

 

-Monsoon

 

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Hey @Jazt6!

Thank you for sharing this. I also depend on my future to give me hope but recently I discovered, I have developed Thalassophobia (fear of deep water and the creatures in it), which means I can´t pursue my dream career as a marine biologist. That took me to a dark place and I was ready to "do it". But then I realized, that life is beautiful. Even as a teenager. You can find other things to give you hope. For example, I found a new hobby and I started to eat and drink healthily. I also started working out and going outside more (in my country it´s still allowed to walk and do things outside). I have struggled a lot this past month and now I´m doing better. I hope, that you find some other things to motivate you to keep going. Life is hard but beautiful and there are so many wonderful things in it. Don´t let Corona or any other thing stop you from dreaming and following the wildest ones!

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Hi JAZT6,

 

Thanks for coming to us for support at Community - we are here for you :)

 

I'm concerned about your mental state right now with you saying "if that's what the future will be like why do I want one?". I'm wondering if you are in crisis and need support. Do you plan to take your own life? It is okay to feel like this but remember that feelings can change, and this feeling may pass.

 

We really want to let you know that you are not alone. Can you please let us know as soon as possible if you are okay or not? Once we know this, we can then support you further. Your safety is the number one priority at this time.

 

We support Monday - Friday, 9am - 5.30pm (BST) via our community and there are more options below:

 

UK: The Samaritans - 116 123 (This is a 24/7 service)

USA: NSPL - 1-800-273-8255 (This is a 24/7 service)

This link will give you a list of all crisis lines worldwide: https://www.befrienders.org

 

You can also call your GP or go to any accident and emergency department and ask for help.

 

Stay safe and hopefully speak soon

 

-Monsoon

Hiya @Monsoon!

Thank you for replying for quickly! I have no thoughts or plans to take my own life but thank you for being so concerned , it means a lot to me that you care so much about the safety and well being of others! I have a good life and I plan to live it and maintain a good lifestyle, I just tend to spiral very quickly in my thoughts, it is something my counsellor and I have discussed a few times, but during these times I cannot see my counsellor, and I wont again because I have left school now! That is why i came here, this site is amazing, I wish I'd came here sooner!

Hope all is well with you!

-Jaz

Edited by Jazt6
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Hey @Jazt6!

Thank you for sharing this. I also depend on my future to give me hope but recently I discovered, I have developed Thalassophobia (fear of deep water and the creatures in it), which means I can´t pursue my dream career as a marine biologist. That took me to a dark place and I was ready to "do it". But then I realized, that life is beautiful. Even as a teenager. You can find other things to give you hope. For example, I found a new hobby and I started to eat and drink healthily. I also started working out and going outside more (in my country it´s still allowed to walk and do things outside). I have struggled a lot this past month and now I´m doing better. I hope, that you find some other things to motivate you to keep going. Life is hard but beautiful and there are so many wonderful things in it. Don´t let Corona or any other thing stop you from dreaming and following the wildest ones!

Hi @Mammu!

Wow your story is so touching, I am sorry about your diagnosis, and I hope you are doing well! We are still allowed out where I am too so I also have been trying to get out and it's been lovely! It distracts me from the spiral of thoughts and clears my head. Life is beautiful you're right! Even in this hard time, I find that the world is coming together and being kind, this brings me some peace! Unfortunately, lives are being lost and that breaks my heart and my love and support goes out to those with loved ones who pass from the virus. I just hope the world comes out stronger and forgets our differences and the world can be a better place, that is what I am trying to focus on.

-Jaz

Edited by Jazt6
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  • Digital Mentor

Hi Jaz,

 

Thank you for letting us know that you are safe. We are really pleased to hear that. I think it's great that you've been accessing a counsellor and it's brilliant that you notice when your thoughts are spiralling. I wonder, have you ever thought about accessing cognitive behavioural therapy? This can help us to change the way we think which can lead to less anxiety.

 

Here is a support article which contains general strategies to improve mental health:

 

7 Things You Can Do to Improve Your Mental Health

 

https://www.ditchthelabel.org/9-practical-things-can-keep-track-mental-health/

 

I wonder, may it be useful for you to start making an action plan for the future? You could think about one or two big goals you want to achieve and identify smaller steps you can take to fulfil these goals. This can help to reduce anxiety.

 

How does this sound?

 

- Monsoon

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Hi Jaz,

 

Thank you for letting us know that you are safe. We are really pleased to hear that. I think it's great that you've been accessing a counsellor and it's brilliant that you notice when your thoughts are spiralling. I wonder, have you ever thought about accessing cognitive behavioural therapy? This can help us to change the way we think which can lead to less anxiety.

 

Here is a support article which contains general strategies to improve mental health:

 

7 Things You Can Do to Improve Your Mental Health

 

https://www.ditchthelabel.org/9-practical-things-can-keep-track-mental-health/

 

I wonder, may it be useful for you to start making an action plan for the future? You could think about one or two big goals you want to achieve and identify smaller steps you can take to fulfil these goals. This can help to reduce anxiety.

 

How does this sound?

 

- Monsoon

Hi @Monsoon

I do not know what cognitive behavioral therapy is but I will google it and do some research! I want to be an interior designer! Next year I'm going to college to do graphic design and I'm really excited about that but also very anxious to meet the new people, I think that is what i am most anxious about, I get very anxious around people and crowds and new places, I was bullied growing up so I suppose that's why I dont like new people! But I am trying to be more social and to conquer that fear, I have started to order my own food now at restaurants and pubs so I can get more comfortable talking to people. I will start a mood board/ plan of my future goals!

Thank you!

-Jaz

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  • Digital Mentor

Hey Jaz.

 

Let me know your thoughts on cognitive behavioural therapy. This basically teaches you that your negative thoughts can lead to more anxiety. It equips you with strategies to think more positively and be calmer which helps to stop anxiety.

 

Also, it's great that you are coming out of your comfort zone and trying things that make you anxious. Maybe you can write a list of the things that give you anxiety and think of small steps to take to work up to overcoming the thing that makes you anxious?

 

In addition to this here is an article on how to overcome social anxiety:

 

https://www.ditchthelabel.org/7-tips-for-overcoming-social-anxiety/

 

Hope this helps!

 

- Monsoon

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Hey Jaz.

 

Let me know your thoughts on cognitive behavioural therapy. This basically teaches you that your negative thoughts can lead to more anxiety. It equips you with strategies to think more positively and be calmer which helps to stop anxiety.

 

Also, it's great that you are coming out of your comfort zone and trying things that make you anxious. Maybe you can write a list of the things that give you anxiety and think of small steps to take to work up to overcoming the thing that makes you anxious?

 

In addition to this here is an article on how to overcome social anxiety:

 

https://www.ditchthelabel.org/7-tips-for-overcoming-social-anxiety/

 

Hope this helps!

 

- Monsoon

@monsoon

I watched a YouTube video on CBT and it seems quite effective! It's a very good interesting way to reduce anxiety and it does seem very promising from what I've read! I also read about agoraphobia, can you have both agoraphobia and social phobia? Google didnt quite tell me, it only told me the difference.

-Jaz

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Hey Jaz. Great to hear from you again.

 

Yeah, CBT is really effective and has a high success rate. It's a very practical type of therapy in that it gives you loads of strategies to deal with anxiety. I'm not sure about the phobias. Now that you know the difference, do you feel like you have difficulties similar to both agoraphobia and social phobia?

 

Speak soon :)

 

-Monsoon

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Hey Jaz. Great to hear from you again.

 

Yeah, CBT is really effective and has a high success rate. It's a very practical type of therapy in that it gives you loads of strategies to deal with anxiety. I'm not sure about the phobias. Now that you know the difference, do you feel like you have difficulties similar to both agoraphobia and social phobia?

 

Speak soon :)

 

-Monsoon

@Monsoon

Yeah I feel like my symptoms as such cross over into both, but I dont want to self diagnose but I've been doing some research on both and I feel like my symptoms are present in both of them and I find the symptoms very relatable and looking at how I think and feel now it makes sense if they are both or one.

-Jaz

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Hey Jaz,

 

Yeah, it's important to not self-diagnose, especially when it comes to mental health. The main thing is knowing what your difficulties are and then seeking help based on what you struggle with. Having a diagnosis can often be unhelpful and can lead to you not having faith in your own ability. For example, some people who are diagnosed with social anxiety disorder may think 'I cannot go out with my friends because of my disorder'. Although labels can be useful, they can often make you feel like you are less able. However, labels can also be good in the sense that they can allow you to access support and can provide peace of mind to know what's going on.

 

Hope this helps :)

 

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Hey Jaz,

 

Yeah, it's important to not self-diagnose, especially when it comes to mental health. The main thing is knowing what your difficulties are and then seeking help based on what you struggle with. Having a diagnosis can often be unhelpful and can lead to you not having faith in your own ability. For example, some people who are diagnosed with social anxiety disorder may think 'I cannot go out with my friends because of my disorder'. Although labels can be useful, they can often make you feel like you are less able. However, labels can also be good in the sense that they can allow you to access support and can provide peace of mind to know what's going on.

 

Hope this helps :)

Hi @Monsoon

Sorry for my late reply..I've been struggling a lot..a lot more than I think I would be. I feel like a diagnosis will make it easier for me because then I know that I'm not the only one and i dont have to feel so guilty for how i feel. I always feel guilty for being anxious or upset because I feel like it upsets other people, so I always cry and suffer in silence and that's where things go wrong, I can talk to my parents but I dont want to upset and make them think they raised me terribly because they didnt they raised me amazingly it's just an unfortunate thing that I am the way I am.

-jaz

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Hey.

 

Sorry to hear you've been struggling a lot recently. Do you want to talk about it? Also, I get what you're saying about a diagnosis being easier. Maybe you should pursue it if you think it will be helpful :)

 

I think that when anyone is struggling, it can be hard to open up to those who are close to us. However, being open is a sign of courage and I think that will be easy for your parents to see if you do open up.

 

Take care and speak soon.

- Monsoon

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Hey.

 

Sorry to hear you've been struggling a lot recently. Do you want to talk about it? Also, I get what you're saying about a diagnosis being easier. Maybe you should pursue it if you think it will be helpful :)

 

I think that when anyone is struggling, it can be hard to open up to those who are close to us. However, being open is a sign of courage and I think that will be easy for your parents to see if you do open up.

 

Take care and speak soon.

- Monsoon

@Monsoon

I've been finding that my body looks different everyday, and understand that weight fluctuates and changes and lighting changes etc, but I've been exercising for about 1 year and a half now but recently one day I love my body and to me it is exactly how I want it to be and later that day or the next day it will look the complete opposite! And I get really upset about this and I struggle to find clothes to wear that make me feel better so in the end I just cry because I get so frustrated and anxious about it, I'm sure it's just lockdown and I have nothing else to do but over obsess about every aspect of my life which I am trying not to do so I started painting shoes which is fun! So that's one way I've been coping! And finding safe outfits that look the same every time, mainly baggy things so I dont have to see it cling to every single flaw!

-Jaz

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Hey :)

 

I think a lot of people find themselves going from one extreme to the other about how they feel about their body. You are not alone in this.

 

I wonder, what are some of the things you like about your physical appearance? Maybe you could try listing a few and then every time you have a negative feeling about your body, try to replace it with a positive one. If this is done over time, it can help us to feel better about the way we look :). This kind of thing takes time to sink in though, so be prepared...

 

Also, I'm pleased to hear that painting has been helping you. Lockdown is tough for everyone and a lot of people are struggling with their mental health at the moment. It's great that you're seeking support and know things to help cheer you up!

 

- Monsoon

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Hey :)

 

I think a lot of people find themselves going from one extreme to the other about how they feel about their body. You are not alone in this.

 

I wonder, what are some of the things you like about your physical appearance? Maybe you could try listing a few and then every time you have a negative feeling about your body, try to replace it with a positive one. If this is done over time, it can help us to feel better about the way we look :). This kind of thing takes time to sink in though, so be prepared...

 

Also, I'm pleased to hear that painting has been helping you. Lockdown is tough for everyone and a lot of people are struggling with their mental health at the moment. It's great that you're seeking support and know things to help cheer you up!

 

- Monsoon

@Monsoon

Hiya! Yeah I mean some days I like my belly because it looks relatively toned but other days it looks like I've never worked out before and it makes me quite mad and I search my brain for anything I could have eaten to cause that and then I dont eat that thing anymore but it keeps happening and I dont want to keep cutting things out my diet because that's not healthy! I like my legs sometimes but other times they look too big for my body (I'm naturally quite curvy on my legs so a lot of my mass is there)

-Jaz

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Hey Jaz,

 

It sounds like you're up and down with how you feel about your body - that must be tough. I can imagine that it's quite distressing to be in that kind of thought process about your body on a regular basis.

 

I wonder, have you thought about maybe speaking to a professional about how you think about your body? It could be that they might be able to help you to think about your body more positively :)

 

Just a thought.

 

- Monsoon

Edited by Monsoon

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Hey Jaz,

 

It sounds like you're up and down with how you feel about your body - that must be tough. I can imagine that it's quite distressing to be in that kind of thought process about your body on a regular basis.

 

I wonder, have you thought about maybe speaking to a professional about how you think about your body? It could be that they might be able to help you to think about your body more positively :)

 

Just a thought.

 

- Monsoon

@Monsoon

Yes! I will speak to a gp about all of the above comments and hopefully get some help:) thank you so much for all of your help! :) hope you are staying safe :)

-Jaz

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