Sociopathy or emotional numbness?

[Anonymous3831]

So I've made posts on here before a while back and I feel a lot better than before but I've had a few incidents that have been coming up that kind've questioned my mind and i'm not sure how to go about this.

 

I've been having a lot of people I know who get depressed or emotionally shocked from a number of things and i'm not sure how to respond to it. I'm not the type of person to comfort people easily because I'm just not sure what to say, I don't have feelings towards a lot of things I just know that the person is hurting.

 

When people feel sad or depressed, I know there sad or depressed there's no question about that. But thing is, I don't feel anything? Like in my mind I feel bad for them, but at the same time I don't which is a weird thing to say but (I'm thinking wow I feel bad for this person) but my mind doesn't produce any emotion.

 

An example of this is one of my friends who is going through a break up after a 7 year old relationship saw a photo of his ex and the guy she supposedly dumped him for and he instantly started feeling depressed. I don't know what to do in these situations so I literally don't do anything at all except try changing the subject to something idk, just anything. I'm not sure if this is the right approach but I just feel like I can't say anything to help that situation. I mean maybe I can say you'll find someone new sometime? I'm not quite sure.

 

Another example is my friend just a few hours ago recently got robbed at gunpoint at a Mcdonalds and now was feeling depressed and too shocked to go out to the park. Maybe it's just heat in the moment because this happened recently and might feel better tomorrow. I again feel bad for the person but at the same time I don't really feel it. I am particularly annoyed though because i've asked this person a few times to hangout and they always say "I'm busy" and haven't made an attempt to switch the day to something else. Even though this person did say that they feel like I don't like them because in the past I would never ask them to hangout. (The gunpoint thing though did happen, so that is something that can be traumatizing I think to a lot of people).

 

Another example is my mom kinda tries to make me feel gratitude about certain things in life but I feel as if it would make me feel more guilty than not. But again I don't really feel gratitude towards a lot of things, but I also don't take things for granted. I just don't feel anything. An example is my mom talking about how out of all the people in the world that how we live is amazing and is something to think about. My philosophy is well, I know that but it's best not to think of it out of guilt and well I can't control where I'm born so i'm just going to make the best out of it.

 

I've felt depressed before but a lot of these types of things for me are typically short term. I'm not really sure what to think of this.

 

[Blondie]

@Anonymous3831 Hey, firstly, usually the best thing to do if someone is talking to you about their problems is to listen and allow them to vent. Ask pertinent questions and acknowledge what they are saying but often people just want an ear and to vent and are not necessarily looking for solutions. This can be hard of you are a natural 'problem solver' but your calm manner may actually be really soothing.

 

Looking at the bigger picture, feeling numb or disconnected in this way can (but not always) be a sign of underlying issues like depression, stress or anxiety. From my own personal experience, after a particularly traumatic incident, it left me with a form of PTSD and this triggered the numbness. It takes work to move through it and for me, this was regular sessions a counsellor / therapist and talking it all the way through and unpicking everything.

 

Is your GP understanding? They might be a good place to start.

[Anonymous3831]

[uSER=2****]Anonymous3831[/uSER] Hey, firstly, usually the best thing to do if someone is talking to you about their problems is to listen and allow them to vent. Ask pertinent questions and acknowledge what they are saying but often people just want an ear and to vent and are not necessarily looking for solutions. This can be hard of you are a natural 'problem solver' but your calm manner may actually be really soothing.

 

Looking at the bigger picture, feeling numb or disconnected in this way can (but not always) be a sign of underlying issues like depression, stress or anxiety. From my own personal experience, after a particularly traumatic incident, it left me with a form of PTSD and this triggered the numbness. It takes work to move through it and for me, this was regular sessions a counsellor / therapist and talking it all the way through and unpicking everything.

 

Is your GP understanding? They might be a good place to start.

 

Thanks for replying . I see, yea I usually just listen then I don't really say much afterwards. I don't really mind listening.

 

Well, I'll say I was bullied when younger but I feel like I got over it, I don't really have depression or anxiety but I still have this numbness however I think it could be caused by something else.

 

I think it could have been caused by from me playing on the computer or using the computer probably 8-16 hours a day from age 12 or 13 to age of 19/20. Only recently now I've started to go out more. It got worst as I got older, like around ages 14-18 I really played on the computer a lot. I have friends pretty similar to me who aren't super emotional, I think being on the computer too much can cause this and idk how I can undo it, it feels permanent to not feel a lot of emotion, it's not like I'm bottling anything in or well I don't feel like I am.

 

 

[Blondie]

@Anonymous3831 That's an interesting point with the computer. To super simplify it, I wonder if it needs 'practice' to get in touch with emotions. I know that psychotherapy and CBT have a lot of success with this, plus they are able to offer a safe place to do this so it's measured and you don't suddenly, for example, unleash a torrent of emotions that you are not ready for.

 

A small way to start could be to practice opening up to people that you trust about an issue that you might need support on and see how that feels. I know that regular physical activity and plenty of rest can help to minimise any stress which should facilitate this. I know that a lot of people also practice mindfulness and meditation to start to get in touch with feelings and emotions. Do you think you could try some of these?

[Atreus]

hello hello i can relate my dude like my friend facetimed me as soon as she found out her mom died while i was on vacation and i tried my fucking b e s t to muster a single tear but i couldn't like i didn't know the chic and i can't relate to losing a family member so i just kinda changed the subject as well i actually called her the other day and she said "saying anything is better than nothing" and i don't think she meant that but i tried so i told her it sucks that her mum died then i just hung up and then yeah i felt kinda forced to say that so ummm yeah i was just complaining after that oh also a car fell on my brothers leg once (don't worry it wasn't bad he can walk fine) and like literally every single one of my sibling were calling for an ambulance and i was just like dudes chill jeez and it turns out we didn't even need an ambulance cuz my mum just ended up runnin him to the emergency room so oh and at one point my younger brother even called 911 twice like that would make them get there any faster like wtf okkk uhh another thing umm ok so my mother and father were once fighting in the car and he told her to pull over so she did and this man just walked out and started walking down the road and my siblings were balling and since i wasn't i felt i needed to like blend in i suppose so i put my blanket over my head and he ended up getting back in the car cuz my mum wouldn't leave him alone uhhh the woods around my house once caught on fire and everyone was freaking out and calling the fire department and i was just chilling and hecking l a u g h i n g at them goin crazy but looking back at it, some animals coulda died and that's pretty upsetting, uuuhuhuuuu sadly i'm also very violent idk y probs get it from my family so anyway i would like purposely hurt my siblings and force a sorry infront of my mom and say it was an accident it lately i've stopped doin that like i legit thro shoes at them and punch them kick them bite them and all that crap like bro (i'm very prone to throwing stuff, probs y i'm a marksmen main) oh anyway uhhh i relate.... thats it

[Monsoon]

hello hello i can relate my dude like my friend facetimed me as soon as she found out her mom died while i was on vacation and i tried my fucking b e s t to muster a single tear but i couldn't like i didn't know the chic and i can't relate to losing a family member so i just kinda changed the subject as well i actually called her the other day and she said "saying anything is better than nothing" and i don't think she meant that but i tried so i told her it sucks that her mum died then i just hung up and then yeah i felt kinda forced to say that so ummm yeah i was just complaining after that oh also a car fell on my brothers leg once (don't worry it wasn't bad he can walk fine) and like literally every single one of my sibling were calling for an ambulance and i was just like dudes chill jeez and it turns out we didn't even need an ambulance cuz my mum just ended up runnin him to the emergency room so oh and at one point my younger brother even called 911 twice like that would make them get there any faster like wtf okkk uhh another thing umm ok so my mother and father were once fighting in the car and he told her to pull over so she did and this man just walked out and started walking down the road and my siblings were balling and since i wasn't i felt i needed to like blend in i suppose so i put my blanket over my head and he ended up getting back in the car cuz my mum wouldn't leave him alone uhhh the woods around my house once caught on fire and everyone was freaking out and calling the fire department and i was just chilling and hecking l a u g h i n g at them goin crazy but looking back at it, some animals coulda died and that's pretty upsetting, uuuhuhuuuu sadly i'm also very violent idk y probs get it from my family so anyway i would like purposely hurt my siblings and force a sorry infront of my mom and say it was an accident it lately i've stopped doin that like i legit thro shoes at them and punch them kick them bite them and all that crap like bro (i'm very prone to throwing stuff, probs y i'm a marksmen main) oh anyway uhhh i relate.... thats it

Hi Atreus. Thanks for being so open about your experiences of dealing with emotional events. Everyone responds differently to different situations. I'm wondering about the violence towards your siblings, would it be worth talking to your parents about this? There could be a reason for you responding to your siblings like this and I guess it's not that nice for them. what do you think?

 

-Monsoon