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I just want to turn eighteen already :[


Emberfrost12 ย  ย 

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I'm fifteen now, and I've been spending every day for a while wishing I could turn eighteen already. For those who live in places where the system is different, eighteen is notable because it's the year you become an official adult and can make decisions without your parents, like medical decisions, housing, and everything else.

So, why do I want to skip the next two and a half years?

Firstly, I really want to start hormone replacement therapy to make myself happier with the way I look and sound, but both governmental and parental restrictions are keeping me from that

Secondly, After HRT, I want to get top surgery because I really don't want to bind for the rest of my life

Thirdly, I need to be independent. My relationship with my mom is...not ideal, and I refuse to be dependent on someone who is completely unpredictable, and it feels wrong to not be in control of my life

So, how do I get myself to be patient for the next two and a half years?

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17 hours ago, Emberfrost12 said:

I'm fifteen now, and I've been spending every day for a while wishing I could turn eighteen already. For those who live in places where the system is different, eighteen is notable because it's the year you become an official adult and can make decisions without your parents, like medical decisions, housing, and everything else.

So, why do I want to skip the next two and a half years?

Firstly, I really want to start hormone replacement therapy to make myself happier with the way I look and sound, but both governmental and parental restrictions are keeping me from that

Secondly, After HRT, I want to get top surgery because I really don't want to bind for the rest of my life

Thirdly, I need to be independent. My relationship with my mom is...not ideal, and I refuse to be dependent on someone who is completely unpredictable, and it feels wrong to not be in control of my life

So, how do I get myself to be patient for the next two and a half years?

Hi @Emberfrost12, thank you for sharing that with us. I get why you can't wait to turn 18. It sounds like you have made some important decision for yourself and having to wait two and a half years until you can move forward must be really frustrating. I'm wondering if you would find it helpful to focus on the things you can do now to get everything ready so you can move forward with your plans as soon as you turn 18? By focusing on that you might feel like you are already moving towards the future you have planned out for yourself. What do you think? Out of the three things you mentioned, what do you think is the thing you would like to address first when you turn 18?ย 

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On 5/25/2024 at 2:55 AM, Aurora said:

Hi @Emberfrost12, thank you for sharing that with us. I get why you can't wait to turn 18. It sounds like you have made some important decision for yourself and having to wait two and a half years until you can move forward must be really frustrating. I'm wondering if you would find it helpful to focus on the things you can do now to get everything ready so you can move forward with your plans as soon as you turn 18? By focusing on that you might feel like you are already moving towards the future you have planned out for yourself. What do you think? Out of the three things you mentioned, what do you think is the thing you would like to address first when you turn 18?ย 

I've got nothing to do until i'm seventeen-ish. The only thing I can do now is making sure I'm driving so I can get my class 5 GDL

I'd probably address deciding if I'm going to do anxiety medication and start hormones first. I'll need to get re-evaluated for mental health though, because I doubt they'll let me focus on medicating the anxiety when it's 'just a side effect' of having depression

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15 hours ago, Emberfrost12 said:

I've got nothing to do until i'm seventeen-ish. The only thing I can do now is making sure I'm driving so I can get my class 5 GDL

I'd probably address deciding if I'm going to do anxiety medication and start hormones first. I'll need to get re-evaluated for mental health though, because I doubt they'll let me focus on medicating the anxiety when it's 'just a side effect' of having depression

I see. So it doesn't feel like you can do anything right now, which in itself must feel pretty frustrating I would imagine. In that case is there something else you can concentrate on? For example I know that you have been doing projects in the past. Is that something you could focus on right now to give you a sense of direction for the time being?ย 

Do you mind explaining a bit more what you mean about wanting to go on anxiety medication? Does that mean you're currently not on anxiety medication but you feel like this is something you would like to do when you are 18. Is that right? If so, what is the reason behind this (if you don't mind me asking).ย ย 

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4 hours ago, Aurora said:

I see. So it doesn't feel like you can do anything right now, which in itself must feel pretty frustrating I would imagine. In that case is there something else you can concentrate on? For example I know that you have been doing projects in the past. Is that something you could focus on right now to give you a sense of direction for the time being?ย 

Do you mind explaining a bit more what you mean about wanting to go on anxiety medication? Does that mean you're currently not on anxiety medication but you feel like this is something you would like to do when you are 18. Is that right? If so, what is the reason behind this (if you don't mind me asking).ย ย 

I'm just going to try to keep myself busy. There are a few projects I have

I'm not currently on any form of medication for anything, and I feel like I'd really benefit. However, my parents don't agree. I just think it'd be easier to operate when I'm not constantly freaking out about things that are probably never going to happen

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1 hour ago, Emberfrost12 said:

I'm just going to try to keep myself busy. There are a few projects I have

I'm not currently on any form of medication for anything, and I feel like I'd really benefit. However, my parents don't agree. I just think it'd be easier to operate when I'm not constantly freaking out about things that are probably never going to happen

That's great if have other projects to keep your attention focused on other aspects of your life. I do understand where you are coming from wishing that you were older, as this does come a certain freedom and independence that is not always there when you are younger than 18.ย 

I posed a similar question in one of the other forums, but I'm wondering if you find exercise helps much with your anxiety. I ask because I know that for quite a few people, exercise is an effective way of managing symptoms of anxiety and depression. Do you have any sports or exercises that you enjoy and have found useful in combatting feelings of anxiety?

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52 minutes ago, Lennie said:

That's great if have other projects to keep your attention focused on other aspects of your life. I do understand where you are coming from wishing that you were older, as this does come a certain freedom and independence that is not always there when you are younger than 18.ย 

I posed a similar question in one of the other forums, but I'm wondering if you find exercise helps much with your anxiety. I ask because I know that for quite a few people, exercise is an effective way of managing symptoms of anxiety and depression. Do you have any sports or exercises that you enjoy and have found useful in combatting feelings of anxiety?

The other annoying part is it that my voice is theย onlyย way in which I don't pass, and I'm having a lot of difficulty working on it. HRT seems like it's the only way to get that one more bit that I need, and I have to wait three years- and until then, I'll be sooooo close to passing but soย far

Exercise doesn't really help. If anything, it can make me crash after. However, I've been trying to do push-ups every night before bed and it does help me sleep faster and keep the anxiety away, to an extent

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13 hours ago, Emberfrost12 said:

The other annoying part is it that my voice is theย onlyย way in which I don't pass, and I'm having a lot of difficulty working on it. HRT seems like it's the only way to get that one more bit that I need, and I have to wait three years- and until then, I'll be sooooo close to passing but soย far

Exercise doesn't really help. If anything, it can make me crash after. However, I've been trying to do push-ups every night before bed and it does help me sleep faster and keep the anxiety away, to an extent

I hear you. Having to wait for something so meaningful without having any control over bringing that date forward must be annoying and stressful. Do you have people in your life that you talk to about this stuff when you're feeling stressed or anxious?

Regarding the exercise, although you don't find it especially helpful in general, it sounds like you've discovered something that works for you. Push-ups are a great exercise! Also, it can be encouraging when you stick at it because after a while you start to see improvements and can gradually push out more and more, which feels rewarding. The fact that it also helps reduce your anxiety a little and improves your quality of sleep is a bonus, too.

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10 hours ago, Lennie said:

I hear you. Having to wait for something so meaningful without having any control over bringing that date forward must be annoying and stressful. Do you have people in your life that you talk to about this stuff when you're feeling stressed or anxious?

Regarding the exercise, although you don't find it especially helpful in general, it sounds like you've discovered something that works for you. Push-ups are a great exercise! Also, it can be encouraging when you stick at it because after a while you start to see improvements and can gradually push out more and more, which feels rewarding. The fact that it also helps reduce your anxiety a little and improves your quality of sleep is a bonus, too.

I do have people I can talk to.

Doesn't feel like I'm getting any progress though. Although, it's only been about a week

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15 hours ago, Emberfrost12 said:

I do have people I can talk to.

Doesn't feel like I'm getting any progress though. Although, it's only been about a week

Okay, that's great that you have people in your life you feel comfortable talking with. Even though this doesn't necessarily change the core issues that are bothering you, I'm sure you've found that just talking things through how you're feeling can help.ย 

Yes, you're right these things can take time. I'm wondering, what would progress look like to you in this circumstance? Are there specific things you have in mind that would represent progress to you?

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10 hours ago, Lennie said:

Okay, that's great that you have people in your life you feel comfortable talking with. Even though this doesn't necessarily change the core issues that are bothering you, I'm sure you've found that just talking things through how you're feeling can help.ย 

Yes, you're right these things can take time. I'm wondering, what would progress look like to you in this circumstance? Are there specific things you have in mind that would represent progress to you?

Progress would just to be in better shape generally. Like, I want to be able to do fifty push-ups or so, even if it's a small bit unrealistic for me right now

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Also, @Lennie, I just opened a new support request in CS. It relates to our discussion on the other thread, if you'll give it a look

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