Zach Cant Focus Posted April 1 Share Posted April 1 maybe theyre right idk they don't ever do it in a mean way they also might be on to something there I mean I am in the gifted program, my parents both have ADHD (im not sure if thats relevant because autism =/= ADHD but neither of them are neurotypical), i'm like also really good at math and anything relating to numbers, im way too obsessed with my favorite band, and i really dont like being touched they also say i stim but i dont (to my knowledge) struggle with social cues or anything like that, and while eye contact didn't come naturally to me or anything i did learn to do it idk i kinda wish theywould stop trying to diagnose me though MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zach Cant Focus Posted April 1 Author Share Posted April 1 im also trans i heard there's correlation there MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zach Cant Focus Posted April 1 Author Share Posted April 1 i dont like loud stuff MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digital Mentor Aurora Posted April 2 Digital Mentor Share Posted April 2 12 hours ago, Zach Cant Focus said: maybe theyre right idk they don't ever do it in a mean way they also might be on to something there I mean I am in the gifted program, my parents both have ADHD (im not sure if thats relevant because autism =/= ADHD but neither of them are neurotypical), i'm like also really good at math and anything relating to numbers, im way too obsessed with my favorite band, and i really dont like being touched they also say i stim but i dont (to my knowledge) struggle with social cues or anything like that, and while eye contact didn't come naturally to me or anything i did learn to do it idk i kinda wish theywould stop trying to diagnose me though Hi @Zach Cant Focus Thank you for sharing this with us. I totally get why you don't want your friends to 'diagnose' you. Have you told them that you don't like them talking about you like this? They might not be aware of how this makes you feel. I get the impression that you have done some research into autism yourself and you mentioned that there are some things that would fit with it and others not. How do you feel about having an assessment done? Then you would know for sure. Also, have you spoken to your parents about this at all? You mentioned that they both have ADHD and they might have a good understanding of what it's like to be neurodivergent (even if ADHD is different to autism). What do you think? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zach Cant Focus Posted April 2 Author Share Posted April 2 (edited) 9 hours ago, Aurora said: Hi @Zach Cant Focus Thank you for sharing this with us. I totally get why you don't want your friends to 'diagnose' you. Have you told them that you don't like them talking about you like this? They might not be aware of how this makes you feel. I get the impression that you have done some research into autism yourself and you mentioned that there are some things that would fit with it and others not. How do you feel about having an assessment done? Then you would know for sure. Also, have you spoken to your parents about this at all? You mentioned that they both have ADHD and they might have a good understanding of what it's like to be neurodivergent (even if ADHD is different to autism). What do you think? No I havent told my friends anything about them saying this. I haven't done any research personally but a lot of them have (a lot of them wonder if they themselves have autism too, and one of them has a mom that works with autistic kids and keeps specifically telling me that if I ever met her mom she would diagnose me immediately) plus just general stuff I've learned about it from other sources. But I've never like specifically googled "autism symptoms" or taken any tests like that Haven't talked to my parents and I don't think they would get me tested if I did. Especially cause I'm doing fine in school right now so my dad would probably just be like "whats the point?" My mom and I have talked about getting me tested for ADHD because she thinks I fit symptoms for that as well but again I haven't gotten tested because theyre both pretty forgetful when it comes to my mental health (theyve promised to get me therapy multiple times at this point and it's never happened) especially when they aren't seeing any of the consequences that my mental health is causing Edited April 2 by Zach Cant Focus MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digital Mentor Aurora Posted April 4 Digital Mentor Share Posted April 4 On 4/2/2024 at 8:27 PM, Zach Cant Focus said: No I havent told my friends anything about them saying this. I haven't done any research personally but a lot of them have (a lot of them wonder if they themselves have autism too, and one of them has a mom that works with autistic kids and keeps specifically telling me that if I ever met her mom she would diagnose me immediately) plus just general stuff I've learned about it from other sources. But I've never like specifically googled "autism symptoms" or taken any tests like that Haven't talked to my parents and I don't think they would get me tested if I did. Especially cause I'm doing fine in school right now so my dad would probably just be like "whats the point?" My mom and I have talked about getting me tested for ADHD because she thinks I fit symptoms for that as well but again I haven't gotten tested because theyre both pretty forgetful when it comes to my mental health (theyve promised to get me therapy multiple times at this point and it's never happened) especially when they aren't seeing any of the consequences that my mental health is causing That's tricky, if it's a big topic of conversation amongst your friends and they are wondering whether they have autism themselves. They might not realise that you don't want them to 'diagnose' you. Do you think this is something you could tell them? How do you think they might react? I can remember you mentioning before that your parents are forgetful and that even though they have promised to get you therapy it still hasn't happened. That must be frustrating for you and I can understand why you don't think there is much point in talking to them. One thing I noticed is that you mentioned Quote especially when they aren't seeing any of the consequences that my mental health is causing Can I ask what you mean by that? I'm curious why you think that they aren't seeing how your mental health is affecting you? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zach Cant Focus Posted April 4 Author Share Posted April 4 13 hours ago, Aurora said: That's tricky, if it's a big topic of conversation amongst your friends and they are wondering whether they have autism themselves. They might not realise that you don't want them to 'diagnose' you. Do you think this is something you could tell them? How do you think they might react? I can remember you mentioning before that your parents are forgetful and that even though they have promised to get you therapy it still hasn't happened. That must be frustrating for you and I can understand why you don't think there is much point in talking to them. One thing I noticed is that you mentioned I mean I could tell them but I think it's coming from a legitimate place of help 13 hours ago, Aurora said: Can I ask what you mean by that? I'm curious why you think that they aren't seeing how your mental health is affecting you? Spoiler any time we've like discussed my mental health its usually been involuntary because either the school called and let them know I was cutting myself or they just straight up saw the cuts and it's just been like "I thought you were doing better now" "I'm not though" "okay we'll see what we can do to help you" and then nothing happens they kinda just assume my mental health has improved the moment they're not actively staring at my cuts, and seem to correlate my mental health with how often theyre catching me cut myself instead of how often I actually am, and when they assume i'm doing better it just leaves their mind until a few months later when we have the same conversation again and this cycle repeats (spoiler for self harm) MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digital Mentor Aurora Posted April 5 Digital Mentor Share Posted April 5 This post has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Self-Harm Click this notice to reveal the content. 10 hours ago, Zach Cant Focus said: I mean I could tell them but I think it's coming from a legitimate place of help Reveal hidden contents any time we've like discussed my mental health its usually been involuntary because either the school called and let them know I was cutting myself or they just straight up saw the cuts and it's just been like "I thought you were doing better now" "I'm not though" "okay we'll see what we can do to help you" and then nothing happens they kinda just assume my mental health has improved the moment they're not actively staring at my cuts, and seem to correlate my mental health with how often theyre catching me cut myself instead of how often I actually am, and when they assume i'm doing better it just leaves their mind until a few months later when we have the same conversation again and this cycle repeats (spoiler for self harm) I know what you mean about it coming from a legitimate place of help. However, if it makes you feel uncomfortable then it might still be a good idea to tell them. Let's say it was the other way round and you kept saying something to a friend that made them feel uncomfortable but you genuinely wanted to help. Would you want your friend to tell you that it made them uncomfortable or would you prefer it if they didn't tell you as you were trying to help them? Thank you for explaining why your parents don't seem to see that you're struggling with your mental health and that you would really like some counselling. And thank you for sharing that you have been cutting. I know that this is a sensitive topic and might be triggering for some so I wanted to check with you whether it would be OK if we continue this conversation on Confidential Support. Would that work for you? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zach Cant Focus Posted April 5 Author Share Posted April 5 This post has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Self-Harm Click this notice to reveal the content. 11 hours ago, Aurora said: I know what you mean about it coming from a legitimate place of help. However, if it makes you feel uncomfortable then it might still be a good idea to tell them. Let's say it was the other way round and you kept saying something to a friend that made them feel uncomfortable but you genuinely wanted to help. Would you want your friend to tell you that it made them uncomfortable or would you prefer it if they didn't tell you as you were trying to help them? Thank you for explaining why your parents don't seem to see that you're struggling with your mental health and that you would really like some counselling. And thank you for sharing that you have been cutting. I know that this is a sensitive topic and might be triggering for some so I wanted to check with you whether it would be OK if we continue this conversation on Confidential Support. Would that work for you? Idk it doesn't bother me enough to make a scene ig Yeah confidential support is fine MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digital Mentor Luie Posted April 6 Digital Mentor Share Posted April 6 This post has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Self-Harm Click this notice to reveal the content. 14 hours ago, Zach Cant Focus said: Idk it doesn't bother me enough to make a scene ig Yeah confidential support is fine Heyy @Zach Cant Focus, Luie here, I have messaged you on CS. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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