Passing tips! (Ftm)

[Emberfrost12]

 

I decided I want to write this post even though there aren’t too many other trans guys on this site, but hopefully someone finds this helpful. This is a list of a lot of ftm passing tips I’ve received or found. I also just want to point out that while I’m directing this toward trans guys, non-binary folks can likely also find some useful info here. Also keep in mind that not every trans guy feels the need to pass, and that’s chill too! Fem-presenting trans guys and people with a more genderf*ck approaches are also valid, but this specific post is directed to more masc-presenting people  The list goes physically top to bottom. And yes, it is REALLY LONG

Hair

-For haircuts, make sure you’re clear about what you want, or It’ll likely end up too feminine. Also keep in mind that there’s a difference between asking for a masculine haircut and asking for a men/boys haircut.

-If you have long hair and can’t cut it short, use toques to hide the extra length and just have the tips out the way you want. (Toque is a fancy canadian word for the usually knitted hats that…are hats? I don’t know how else to explain it. Look it up!). If you have bangs, wear hoodies with the hood up and style your bangs to look masc, keeping the rest of your hair hidden by the hood

Your face

-Contour makeup is a thing you can use to make your face more masculine. It isn’t a necessity though

-Mess up your eyebrows! Use water to mess them up, or I’ve also seen tips that involve putting clear mascara in them. I haven’t tried it, but it might be worth a try. Some people also use makeup to make their eyebrows look like there’s more hair.

-Start shaving when you hit 14/15. Cis guys shed their peach fuzz when they hit puberty, and it will make a difference

Shirts and that kind of stuff (not counting binding)

-Baggy stuff is good

-Layers, layers, layers! Especially in winter, try and wear layers. Do your best to avoid wearing multiple things with collars.  A few common ones are to wear a long-sleeved shirt under a short-sleeved shirt (Feel free to make one of them collared, and if the outside one is a button-up, unbutton it), or you can do a short-sleeved shirt with an unbuttoned collared shirt. You can also wear sweatshirts and hoodies under another shirt, short or long-sleeved. If it’s a hoodie, make sure you remember to pull out the hood

-Hoodies are your friend! I don’t wear hoodies often, but they do provide a really easy way to pass. Hoodies are especially useful if you aren’t binding

Binding

-The best way to bind is, believe it or not, with a chest binder. Unless this is the first thing on this topic you’ve read, you probably know that you should never bind with ACE bandages, and also don’t buy binders from weird brands off amazon. I did that the first time, and my binder stretched really fast to become completely useless. Don’t put yourself through that. GC2B is a reputable brand, but it appears their quality has gone down, so it might be better to go with another brand. Underworks is good, and there are lots of others (I got a binder just yesterday from wivov. I’d never heard of them before, so I have no idea if the binder is going to last, but let’s hope!). The rule of thumb is generally to look at ratings from people who are a similar size to you. Sometimes companies are better with one size than others. On the topic of sizing, always wear the right size. Too small will bind you too tightly, and cause chest and back pain.

-With binders, they can be a struggle to get off and on when you first get one. To get it on, just pull it on overtop, pull the front down, pull the back down, and then repeat pulling it down until it gets there. To take it off, pull it up your front first, pull it away and up as far as you can, then reach your hands over your head to pull the back up and over your head

-Another possibility is to use trans tape, which has the benefit of not compressing your chest, but the downside of maybe coming off and being painful when pulled off, especially with sensitive skin. I don’t have experience with it, but it could be worth a try. 

-If you can’t buy actual gear, make your own binder with a tank top. Look for tutorials online, as I know nothing about this. You can also wear a too-small sports bra. If you don’t feel like whoever you’re buying one with will be convinced that that’s your size, take the small one and a bigger one to the changeroom, and switch the hangers so it looks like you’re buying the bigger one.

Pants and that stuff

-Once again, baggy clothes are your friend. 

-This might seem obvious, but make sure that you’re not belting your pants above your hips. They should be belted just below the top. Also, make sure you’re wearing a belt

-Corduroys are often seen as masc. Denim is also good here. Khakis also have a masculine tendency

-Pants that come in at the ankle generally come across more masculine. Consider buying cargos with an ankle drawstring, or learn how to tightroll your jeans.

-beware of cuffs! They can be acceptable, but sometimes they will make you come across more as a butch lesbian.

-The consensus on packing seems to be that you don’t need to do it to pass, but you are welcome to do it if you have dysphoria in that area. Once again, I don’t do it and therefore don’t know much about it, but I do know that there is a lot of info about it around.

-Wear mens pants. I know that it seems like someone is going to yell at you for it, but that doesn’t happen. Mens pants measure differently from womens pants, so make sure you size right. There are generally two measurements- the first is your waist, and I have suddenly forgotten what the second is. Height, I think. If you get pants that are too long, you can cuff them, but I am going to repeat that it can make people think you’re a butch lesbian

Shoes

-Long socks are generally better than ankle socks

-Colorful shoes aren’t always awesome in terms of passing, but if you do want colors, make them dark colors

-Adidas is the most masculine brand. At least, it is where I live. I wear vans, but I’d stay away from converse unless there’s a lot of guys wearing converse. Wearing boots like Doc Martens is another thing that’s not going to help you pass, but if you really want to, it’s the kind of thing that you can do if you otherwise pass, and you’ll be fine.

Jewelry

-Jewelry is something that does not come across as very masculine generally. Limit youself to a few necklaces, or a few bracelets, or a few rings. Don’t go too strong. If you are otherwise passing really well, you can reach for a few more jewelry things. Metals and black, with possibly one color is your friend for jewelery

Other info relating to clothes

-Keep an eye on what people around you wear. If there’s something really popular with guys, do it or something very similar

-Keep an eye on mens fashion blogs and things like that, but keep in mind that teenage boys tend to dress differently than adults. However, there are still things you can pick up, especially if you have a job, where you can dress a bit older

-If you want to wear feminine stuff and still pass, the best way to go is to dress super masc for a while, until the only people misgendering you are the transphobic idiots, and then add back the fem stuff slowly, until a random stranger misgenders you, and then you go one step back. 

Body language

-Body language is important. I tend to forget about it, and that definitely shows because I have a slight tendency for random people to think I’m transfem. Oops

-Be aware of your hands. Good places for hands are in your pockets, spread out from each other, if you have the right hair, combing it back with your fingers is a good thing, keep them by your sides and swinging when you’re moving, but move hold them elsewhere when you’re standing. Bad places for your hands are on your hips, by your sides while you’re standing still, and anything else that seems feminine. While you’re sitting, or leaning against something, a very masc place for them is inside your thighs, and to be absolutely clear, I do not mean your crotch. If you’re keeping your hands on the inside of your thighs, you have to be in a physical position where they’re vertically in the middle of your thigh. It should be somewhat comfortable. If it feels weird, you probably should just move your hands somewhere more natural. Also, hands down might make it more comfortable.

-Take. Up. Space. Open body posture and taking up space is actually proven to help your confidence, and it’s the more masculine thing to do. 

-There are a few videos on lowering your voice you should take a glance at. Drinking milk before bed has been said to give a good morning voice, doing things like humming and lip trilling on a fairly, but not uncomfortably, low note can also help. Gargling water and trying to bring it lower into your throat is also a thing that has been said to help.

-There is a lot of stupid advice out there. Don’t try the mascara/ on your arm hair stuff, it will not help

-Working out can help with dysphoria, and if you gain muscle, it can help you pass

-Get mens deodorant. If you’re old enough, wear cologne.

-When you walk, make sure your hips aren’t moving too much. It isn’t natural for them to not move at all, but your walk should come from your shoulders. Practice your walk and make sure that you have a slight bit of swagger from your shoulders. Use your full stride, as well

 

That’s all I have for you. If anyone has questions or more tips,  feel free to share below. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Emberfrost12]

0-0

[Aurora]

19 hours ago, Emberfrost12 said:

I decided I want to write this post even though there aren’t too many other trans guys on this site, but hopefully someone finds this helpful. This is a list of a lot of ftm passing tips I’ve received or found. I also just want to point out that while I’m directing this toward trans guys, non-binary folks can likely also find some useful info here. Also keep in mind that not every trans guy feels the need to pass, and that’s chill too! Fem-presenting trans guys and people with a more genderf*ck approaches are also valid, but this specific post is directed to more masc-presenting people  The list goes physically top to bottom. And yes, it is REALLY LONG

Hair

-For haircuts, make sure you’re clear about what you want, or It’ll likely end up too feminine. Also keep in mind that there’s a difference between asking for a masculine haircut and asking for a men/boys haircut.

-If you have long hair and can’t cut it short, use toques to hide the extra length and just have the tips out the way you want. (Toque is a fancy canadian word for the usually knitted hats that…are hats? I don’t know how else to explain it. Look it up!). If you have bangs, wear hoodies with the hood up and style your bangs to look masc, keeping the rest of your hair hidden by the hood

Your face

-Contour makeup is a thing you can use to make your face more masculine. It isn’t a necessity though

-Mess up your eyebrows! Use water to mess them up, or I’ve also seen tips that involve putting clear mascara in them. I haven’t tried it, but it might be worth a try. Some people also use makeup to make their eyebrows look like there’s more hair.

-Start shaving when you hit 14/15. Cis guys shed their peach fuzz when they hit puberty, and it will make a difference

Shirts and that kind of stuff (not counting binding)

-Baggy stuff is good

-Layers, layers, layers! Especially in winter, try and wear layers. Do your best to avoid wearing multiple things with collars.  A few common ones are to wear a long-sleeved shirt under a short-sleeved shirt (Feel free to make one of them collared, and if the outside one is a button-up, unbutton it), or you can do a short-sleeved shirt with an unbuttoned collared shirt. You can also wear sweatshirts and hoodies under another shirt, short or long-sleeved. If it’s a hoodie, make sure you remember to pull out the hood

-Hoodies are your friend! I don’t wear hoodies often, but they do provide a really easy way to pass. Hoodies are especially useful if you aren’t binding

Binding

-The best way to bind is, believe it or not, with a chest binder. Unless this is the first thing on this topic you’ve read, you probably know that you should never bind with ACE bandages, and also don’t buy binders from weird brands off amazon. I did that the first time, and my binder stretched really fast to become completely useless. Don’t put yourself through that. GC2B is a reputable brand, but it appears their quality has gone down, so it might be better to go with another brand. Underworks is good, and there are lots of others (I got a binder just yesterday from wivov. I’d never heard of them before, so I have no idea if the binder is going to last, but let’s hope!). The rule of thumb is generally to look at ratings from people who are a similar size to you. Sometimes companies are better with one size than others. On the topic of sizing, always wear the right size. Too small will bind you too tightly, and cause chest and back pain.

-With binders, they can be a struggle to get off and on when you first get one. To get it on, just pull it on overtop, pull the front down, pull the back down, and then repeat pulling it down until it gets there. To take it off, pull it up your front first, pull it away and up as far as you can, then reach your hands over your head to pull the back up and over your head

-Another possibility is to use trans tape, which has the benefit of not compressing your chest, but the downside of maybe coming off and being painful when pulled off, especially with sensitive skin. I don’t have experience with it, but it could be worth a try. 

-If you can’t buy actual gear, make your own binder with a tank top. Look for tutorials online, as I know nothing about this. You can also wear a too-small sports bra. If you don’t feel like whoever you’re buying one with will be convinced that that’s your size, take the small one and a bigger one to the changeroom, and switch the hangers so it looks like you’re buying the bigger one.

Pants and that stuff

-Once again, baggy clothes are your friend. 

-This might seem obvious, but make sure that you’re not belting your pants above your hips. They should be belted just below the top. Also, make sure you’re wearing a belt

-Corduroys are often seen as masc. Denim is also good here. Khakis also have a masculine tendency

-Pants that come in at the ankle generally come across more masculine. Consider buying cargos with an ankle drawstring, or learn how to tightroll your jeans.

-beware of cuffs! They can be acceptable, but sometimes they will make you come across more as a butch lesbian.

-The consensus on packing seems to be that you don’t need to do it to pass, but you are welcome to do it if you have dysphoria in that area. Once again, I don’t do it and therefore don’t know much about it, but I do know that there is a lot of info about it around.

-Wear mens pants. I know that it seems like someone is going to yell at you for it, but that doesn’t happen. Mens pants measure differently from womens pants, so make sure you size right. There are generally two measurements- the first is your waist, and I have suddenly forgotten what the second is. Height, I think. If you get pants that are too long, you can cuff them, but I am going to repeat that it can make people think you’re a butch lesbian

Shoes

-Long socks are generally better than ankle socks

-Colorful shoes aren’t always awesome in terms of passing, but if you do want colors, make them dark colors

-Adidas is the most masculine brand. At least, it is where I live. I wear vans, but I’d stay away from converse unless there’s a lot of guys wearing converse. Wearing boots like Doc Martens is another thing that’s not going to help you pass, but if you really want to, it’s the kind of thing that you can do if you otherwise pass, and you’ll be fine.

Jewelry

-Jewelry is something that does not come across as very masculine generally. Limit youself to a few necklaces, or a few bracelets, or a few rings. Don’t go too strong. If you are otherwise passing really well, you can reach for a few more jewelry things. Metals and black, with possibly one color is your friend for jewelery

Other info relating to clothes

-Keep an eye on what people around you wear. If there’s something really popular with guys, do it or something very similar

-Keep an eye on mens fashion blogs and things like that, but keep in mind that teenage boys tend to dress differently than adults. However, there are still things you can pick up, especially if you have a job, where you can dress a bit older

-If you want to wear feminine stuff and still pass, the best way to go is to dress super masc for a while, until the only people misgendering you are the transphobic idiots, and then add back the fem stuff slowly, until a random stranger misgenders you, and then you go one step back. 

Body language

-Body language is important. I tend to forget about it, and that definitely shows because I have a slight tendency for random people to think I’m transfem. Oops

-Be aware of your hands. Good places for hands are in your pockets, spread out from each other, if you have the right hair, combing it back with your fingers is a good thing, keep them by your sides and swinging when you’re moving, but move hold them elsewhere when you’re standing. Bad places for your hands are on your hips, by your sides while you’re standing still, and anything else that seems feminine. While you’re sitting, or leaning against something, a very masc place for them is inside your thighs, and to be absolutely clear, I do not mean your crotch. If you’re keeping your hands on the inside of your thighs, you have to be in a physical position where they’re vertically in the middle of your thigh. It should be somewhat comfortable. If it feels weird, you probably should just move your hands somewhere more natural. Also, hands down might make it more comfortable.

-Take. Up. Space. Open body posture and taking up space is actually proven to help your confidence, and it’s the more masculine thing to do. 

-There are a few videos on lowering your voice you should take a glance at. Drinking milk before bed has been said to give a good morning voice, doing things like humming and lip trilling on a fairly, but not uncomfortably, low note can also help. Gargling water and trying to bring it lower into your throat is also a thing that has been said to help.

-There is a lot of stupid advice out there. Don’t try the mascara/ on your arm hair stuff, it will not help

-Working out can help with dysphoria, and if you gain muscle, it can help you pass

-Get mens deodorant. If you’re old enough, wear cologne.

-When you walk, make sure your hips aren’t moving too much. It isn’t natural for them to not move at all, but your walk should come from your shoulders. Practice your walk and make sure that you have a slight bit of swagger from your shoulders. Use your full stride, as well

That’s all I have for you. If anyone has questions or more tips,  feel free to share below. 

Hi @Emberfrost12, thank you so much for taking the time to write this post. I think this is going to be really helpful for a lot of people. I can tell that you have put a lot of thought into this and it's all really good advice. The one thing that particularly stood out for me is the bit about Take. Up. Space - it really made me think about a lot of things and I feel like this is a really interesting observation about this being a more masculine thing to do.  

Thanks again!