Pan or Lesbian?

[aroacebananas]

OKAY SO-

CONTEXT: I'm genderfluid, asexual, & grayromantic.

I've been identifying as a lesbian for quite some time now. (No, it doesn't make sense bc I'm genderfluid but whatever, stfu) However...I'm not sure, but I think I might be pan? Because I'm beginning to notice that some of my attraction does extend to males + male aligned people. I often confuse romantic and platonic attraction when crushing/squishing, and I have felt both forms on the same person. I'm pretty sure that the only attraction I feel towards males (+ the aligned genders) is platonic, which both clears things up and makes things more confusing. Is it possible for me to experience platonic (qpr) attraction towards males but romantic + platonic attraction towards females? And is there even a word for that? 

thanks, 

ryn

[Monsoon]

Hey there,

Thank you for asking us about this :)

It is absolutely possible to feel platonic attraction towards males (qpr) and then platonic and romantic attraction towards females. However you feel and whoever you are attracted to is valid, and there doesn’t have to be a word for it for it to mean it’s real. What do you think about that? Also, I can see that you mentioned pansexuality. How would it feel to describe yourself as this? 

[aroacebananas]

On 7/21/2023 at 10:03 AM, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

Thank you for asking us about this :)

It is absolutely possible to feel platonic attraction towards males (qpr) and then platonic and romantic attraction towards females. However you feel and whoever you are attracted to is valid, and there doesn’t have to be a word for it for it to mean it’s real. What do you think about that? Also, I can see that you mentioned pansexuality. How would it feel to describe yourself as this? 

Let's not bring sexuality into this

Jokes aside, it's not necessarily pansexuality more like pan-platonic attraction. But it's really confusing, because how the fuck can I be a lesbian and pan at the same time? 

[Monsoon]

On 7/23/2023 at 6:45 PM, aroacebananas said:

Let's not bring sexuality into this

Jokes aside, it's not necessarily pansexuality more like pan-platonic attraction. But it's really confusing, because how the fuck can I be a lesbian and pan at the same time? 

Hey there,

I think that at the moment, you have some big question that you would like to answer. It seems like your haven't necessarily maybe found the exact box you feel you fit into, and I'm taking that from what you've said round how can you be lesbian and pan at the same time. I'm wondering, how would it feel for you to not label your sexuality? Another question to consider answering could also be, how would you feel if you couldn't find a label to describe your sexuality?