buechlcr Posted July 20, 2023 Share Posted July 20, 2023 (sorry if there are a few random "u"s in random places throughout this, my keyboard is broken and typing "u"s for no reason ALSO i lost my glasses and i can't see [i'm legally blind lmao]) helloo i've introduced myself a few times on this website before, but my name is grace. for over a year, i've confidentally identified myself as a lesbian and known iun the back of my mind that i ubelong somewhere on the aromantiuc spectrm, but it's kind of just been driving me crazy lately that i have no understandiung of it, which is why i am here today in hopes of gathering a few people's opinions as seeiung multiple viewpoints of a sitation really helps me understand it. here's the important background iunformation: i know i am not "fully" aromantic as i DO have a strong desire for a relationship, and always have. the idea of beiung in a relatiounshiup isn't "weird" as i know many aro people describe it, i rather just feel next to no romantic feelings for real people, and i haven't for as long as i can remember. the only thing that has ever came close to a crush was a sliguht situationship i had with a friend, which now i look back upon, i don't know if the feelings were romantic. one of my biggest problems is being able to differentiate romantic and platonic feelings, the two times i've really thought about trying to differantiate them being 1. the mentioned situationship with my friend, which occured as she confessed her feelings for me and i believed i may have feelings back as her friendship felt different than others, and 2. when i was trying to think if i had feeliungs for ANOTHER friend (ya, ya, i know i have a problem with the friuends lmao) as our friendship was different from everyone else in our friendgroup and other friends. honestly, any feedback, thoughts, or anythiung wold be welcome from anyone and would be greatly appreciated thanks! MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted July 20, 2023 Share Posted July 20, 2023 8 hours ago, buechlcr said: (sorry if there are a few random "u"s in random places throughout this, my keyboard is broken and typing "u"s for no reason ALSO i lost my glasses and i can't see [i'm legally blind lmao]) helloo i've introduced myself a few times on this website before, but my name is grace. for over a year, i've confidentally identified myself as a lesbian and known iun the back of my mind that i ubelong somewhere on the aromantiuc spectrm, but it's kind of just been driving me crazy lately that i have no understandiung of it, which is why i am here today in hopes of gathering a few people's opinions as seeiung multiple viewpoints of a sitation really helps me understand it. here's the important background iunformation: i know i am not "fully" aromantic as i DO have a strong desire for a relationship, and always have. the idea of beiung in a relatiounshiup isn't "weird" as i know many aro people describe it, i rather just feel next to no romantic feelings for real people, and i haven't for as long as i can remember. the only thing that has ever came close to a crush was a sliguht situationship i had with a friend, which now i look back upon, i don't know if the feelings were romantic. one of my biggest problems is being able to differentiate romantic and platonic feelings, the two times i've really thought about trying to differantiate them being 1. the mentioned situationship with my friend, which occured as she confessed her feelings for me and i believed i may have feelings back as her friendship felt different than others, and 2. when i was trying to think if i had feeliungs for ANOTHER friend (ya, ya, i know i have a problem with the friuends lmao) as our friendship was different from everyone else in our friendgroup and other friends. honestly, any feedback, thoughts, or anythiung wold be welcome from anyone and would be greatly appreciated thanks! Hey Grace, Thank you for coming to us with this :) Sexuality can be pretty confusing, and it's really good to have a space where you can ask these kinds of questions. After reading your posts, it sounds like you're for sure not yet certain on the difference between platonic and romantic feelings. I'm wondering, would you like to start by telling me what you know about those types of feelings so far? What are the similarities and what are the differences? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buechlcr Posted July 20, 2023 Author Share Posted July 20, 2023 hello again— tbh, i’m not great with the knowledge between the two. whether or not there is a big difference, i’m not quite sure. obviously there’s different desires as i presume, i’m just not good with figuring out if it is something i actually want or i’m telling myself i want (regarding relationships with friends) MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aroacebananas Posted July 21, 2023 Share Posted July 21, 2023 This post was recognized by Luie! aroacebananas was awarded the badge 'Act of Kindness' and 10 points. there's actually an arospec label for this, quoiromantic, which is when someone has difficulty telling (or just can't tell) the difference between romantic & platonic attraction. it's also known as WTFromantic, funnily enough. another arospec identity is called grayromantic, which i kinda define as the middle ground between allo and aro. i use this one, and i definitely confuse platonic & romantic attraction a LOT. but i do feel both, and more often than not i'll feel both platonic and romantic towards my crush/squish. i know that labels aren't for everybody but they usually help me figure myself out, so here are some options. but don't feel obligated to put any labels on whatever you're feeling! MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buechlcr Posted July 21, 2023 Author Share Posted July 21, 2023 "wtfromantic" ius very mch me, thank yo very mch for my new word jokes aside, thanks for giving me more terms to look up! hopefully it will lead me closer to figuring out wtf i am LMAO MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted July 21, 2023 Share Posted July 21, 2023 23 hours ago, buechlcr said: hello again— tbh, i’m not great with the knowledge between the two. whether or not there is a big difference, i’m not quite sure. obviously there’s different desires as i presume, i’m just not good with figuring out if it is something i actually want or i’m telling myself i want (regarding relationships with friends) Hey there, That’s okay! It can be pretty confusing to be honest. However, usually, when you have a crush, there is a desire to have a more romantic connection with that person. This can mean wanting to be more than friends, so having a relationship with them where you may have a sexual aspect or even a deep love that goes beyond or is different the one you’d have for a close friend . However, depending on your sexuality, you might not have those sexual desires, but more so a feeling of wanting to take the relationship beyond a friendship. What do you think? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aroacebananas Posted July 23, 2023 Share Posted July 23, 2023 On 7/20/2023 at 11:10 PM, buechlcr said: "wtfromantic" ius very mch me, thank yo very mch for my new word jokes aside, thanks for giving me more terms to look up! hopefully it will lead me closer to figuring out wtf i am LMAO ofc ofc! MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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