The Coyotea’s Den

[Coyotea]

Okay, so my yearly youth group trip…it sucked, it was a shit show. Honestly.

There was this kid, Charles, who kept being incredibly racist and then would say “I’m not racist!” He literally mocked indigenous Americans and their history, their culture, everything! He said “they don’t even count as a race anymore” 

Someone said “Women belong with black people in the back of the bus” 

And people kept judging how much Charles was eating and so I tried to be the one decent person there and said “Let’s not judge people’s eating habits, yeah?” (Because I’ve got an ED and it was a nightmare to have 3 whole meals for 3 days in front of 19 other people and being around people judging others for how they eat adds to that triggering nightmare tremendously) And they brushed me off.

Later some kid, Tyler, was comparing his skin tone to his gfs and then took his name tag (laminated paper) and made aggressive lines on his arm to see how pale it would look, but the action was identical to how I sh and I was massively triggered, I was so close to relapsing that day. It was awful. And the amount of gay jokes…omg..

I had to fucking argue against a 15-16 year old Christian girl at fucking 12am over PEDOPHILIA- I-

w h a t- she literally said and I quote “Age is just a number”, “yeah but he’s hot so it would cancel out”, “BUT 8 YEAR OLDS CAN GET THEIR PRIVATES ALTERED WITHOUT PARENTSL CONSENT” “Yeah but I would consent, I’d let him.” 

I even used the goddamn bible to back up my argument and she didn’t give a shit, I told her that transgender surgeries aren’t done that way and it’s completely unrelated to what we’re talking about. She still didn’t care, she insisted there was a rule that said children could get HRT and Surgery without gaurdian consent. She refused to listen…so I ended up telling her that it was a sin, disgusting, and incredibly fucking weird to be fantasizing over other people, specifically 20-30 year old men in this case. (using the Bible to back my argument again, I literally offered to go find the verse that says it’s a sin- I’m not even Christian, I don’t believe in any of that really but yeah I’d call pedophilia a sin! I’m atheist for fucks sake!) I was done with the discussion since she seems to think pedophilia is okay. Am I going to bring this up again in the future? Oh, absolutely. 
 

I ended up being able to stay clean, I used a pen to draw on my arm to help with the urges and I did a few vent drawings..some of them were just aggressive lines in a formation that I usually do for sh, it helped. Uhhhh

oh yeah, more racism happened! A kid (white, 2000% white.) kept yelling that the kids there that were black were being racist to him and then he’d say something racist.

I tried talking to one of the people I’m closer to there about my Aromantisim and Asexuality (as vaguely as possible without outing myself entirely) and she kept saying “you’ll find someone” and “you just have to be open to it!” Etc etc…not great..but it was something..

she and some friends were eating sausages and then started making penis jokes. I left the table as fast as I could.

On the positive side of things: I got some sparkly pens, I got some socks, I got to see an armadillo up close, I got to hold a preying mantis…uh 

Oh! I finally opened up to my friends about my ED and sh! :D I asked them not to apologize or throw a pity party or anything like that and so far they haven’t. I think it will be fine as long as I don’t talk about it a lot. Uh- idk what else..I got my costume ready for nov 4th. Um- idk what else…yeah..idk..I’ll post more when I get the chance or remember anything I may have missed.

[Duckie]

8 hours ago, Coyotea said:

Okay, so my yearly youth group trip…it sucked, it was a shit show. Honestly.

There was this kid, Charles, who kept being incredibly racist and then would say “I’m not racist!” He literally mocked indigenous Americans and their history, their culture, everything! He said “they don’t even count as a race anymore” 

Someone said “Women belong with black people in the back of the bus” 

And people kept judging how much Charles was eating and so I tried to be the one decent person there and said “Let’s not judge people’s eating habits, yeah?” (Because I’ve got an ED and it was a nightmare to have 3 whole meals for 3 days in front of 19 other people and being around people judging others for how they eat adds to that triggering nightmare tremendously) And they brushed me off.

Later some kid, Tyler, was comparing his skin tone to his gfs and then took his name tag (laminated paper) and made aggressive lines on his arm to see how pale it would look, but the action was identical to how I sh and I was massively triggered, I was so close to relapsing that day. It was awful. And the amount of gay jokes…omg..

I had to fucking argue against a 15-16 year old Christian girl at fucking 12am over PEDOPHILIA- I-

w h a t- she literally said and I quote “Age is just a number”, “yeah but he’s hot so it would cancel out”, “BUT 8 YEAR OLDS CAN GET THEIR PRIVATES ALTERED WITHOUT PARENTSL CONSENT” “Yeah but I would consent, I’d let him.” 

I even used the goddamn bible to back up my argument and she didn’t give a shit, I told her that transgender surgeries aren’t done that way and it’s completely unrelated to what we’re talking about. She still didn’t care, she insisted there was a rule that said children could get HRT and Surgery without gaurdian consent. She refused to listen…so I ended up telling her that it was a sin, disgusting, and incredibly fucking weird to be fantasizing over other people, specifically 20-30 year old men in this case. (using the Bible to back my argument again, I literally offered to go find the verse that says it’s a sin- I’m not even Christian, I don’t believe in any of that really but yeah I’d call pedophilia a sin! I’m atheist for fucks sake!) I was done with the discussion since she seems to think pedophilia is okay. Am I going to bring this up again in the future? Oh, absolutely. 
 

I ended up being able to stay clean, I used a pen to draw on my arm to help with the urges and I did a few vent drawings..some of them were just aggressive lines in a formation that I usually do for sh, it helped. Uhhhh

oh yeah, more racism happened! A kid (white, 2000% white.) kept yelling that the kids there that were black were being racist to him and then he’d say something racist.

I tried talking to one of the people I’m closer to there about my Aromantisim and Asexuality (as vaguely as possible without outing myself entirely) and she kept saying “you’ll find someone” and “you just have to be open to it!” Etc etc…not great..but it was something..

she and some friends were eating sausages and then started making penis jokes. I left the table as fast as I could.

On the positive side of things: I got some sparkly pens, I got some socks, I got to see an armadillo up close, I got to hold a preying mantis…uh 

Oh! I finally opened up to my friends about my ED and sh! :D I asked them not to apologize or throw a pity party or anything like that and so far they haven’t. I think it will be fine as long as I don’t talk about it a lot. Uh- idk what else..I got my costume ready for nov 4th. Um- idk what else…yeah..idk..I’ll post more when I get the chance or remember anything I may have missed.

Hi @Coyotea! 

Welcome back.

Oh. my. god. This sounds like an insanely toxic and detrimental trip for you. Are you OK? 

Reading this made me really uncomfortable because I can only imagine how offensive all of this must be for you to hear, repeatedly in the the course of several days! No one wants to admit they're racist, and that just means they don't understand what it means or have their own uneducated view on what a racist really is.

Well done for standing up for Charles, even though he's clearly not the most mindful person himself. It shows that you have integrity and that you still treat people the way you would have liked to be treated. Sorry to hear it fell on death ears. Maybe Charles appreciated this deep down.

It sounds like you were literally surrounded by the most arrogant people on earth if you don't mind me saying so. I was absolutely disgusted to hear you arguing against pedophilia... Is there a chance you could opt out of going next year? Because I really wouldn't want you to go back there. Are these people that you have to meet on a regular basis or only for the yearly camp?

I'm really happy for you that you felt safe enough to open up to your friends about your ED and sh. How did they take it? How do you feel now that they know?

 

[Coyotea]

9 hours ago, Duckie said:

Hi @Coyotea! 

Welcome back.

Oh. my. god. This sounds like an insanely toxic and detrimental trip for you. Are you OK? 

Reading this made me really uncomfortable because I can only imagine how offensive all of this must be for you to hear, repeatedly in the the course of several days! No one wants to admit they're racist, and that just means they don't understand what it means or have their own uneducated view on what a racist really is.

Well done for standing up for Charles, even though he's clearly not the most mindful person himself. It shows that you have integrity and that you still treat people the way you would have liked to be treated. Sorry to hear it fell on death ears. Maybe Charles appreciated this deep down.

It sounds like you were literally surrounded by the most arrogant people on earth if you don't mind me saying so. I was absolutely disgusted to hear you arguing against pedophilia... Is there a chance you could opt out of going next year? Because I really wouldn't want you to go back there. Are these people that you have to meet on a regular basis or only for the yearly camp?

I'm really happy for you that you felt safe enough to open up to your friends about your ED and sh. How did they take it? How do you feel now that they know?

Am I okay? Uh- I don’t know.

I doubt he appreciated it.

I can’t opt out next year, unless I get sick or something, I see most of these people twice a week.

 

idk, it feels alright, it’s nice to not have to fear outing myself. I think they took it okay…?

[Duckie]

12 hours ago, Coyotea said:

Am I okay? Uh- I don’t know.

I doubt he appreciated it.

I can’t opt out next year, unless I get sick or something, I see most of these people twice a week.

idk, it feels alright, it’s nice to not have to fear outing myself. I think they took it okay…?

I get that. It sounds like it might take you a while to fully process a trip away like this! Super cool that you got to see an armadillo though.

Are you able to bring things like your laptop and some books to keep you grounded next time you go? Like things to remind you that these people are not going to be in your life forever and that there is so much kindness that they aren't aware they can show?

I'm happy for you that you finally felt safe to tell them and it seems they took it OK. Few weeks ago you didn't think this was possible and even though you might not have told them everything you would like to tell them just yet, this is still a big step.

[Coyotea]

30 minutes ago, Duckie said:

I get that. It sounds like it might take you a while to fully process a trip away like this! Super cool that you got to see an armadillo though.

Are you able to bring things like your laptop and some books to keep you grounded next time you go? Like things to remind you that these people are not going to be in your life forever and that there is so much kindness that they aren't aware they can show?

I'm happy for you that you finally felt safe to tell them and it seems they took it OK. Few weeks ago you didn't think this was possible and even though you might not have told them everything you would like to tell them just yet, this is still a big step.

No, metamorphosis (that’s what our yearly trip is called) is a no electronics trip. I already always bring books.

[Duckie]

4 minutes ago, Coyotea said:

No, metamorphosis (that’s what our yearly trip is called) is a no electronics trip. I already always bring books.

Oh yes, I remember you saying that you weren't going to be online for a few days... It's good that you were able to bring books, though. 

How are you feeling since you returned home?

[Coyotea]

37 minutes ago, Duckie said:

Oh yes, I remember you saying that you weren't going to be online for a few days... It's good that you were able to bring books, though. 

How are you feeling since you returned home?

Not great, I don’t like having to deal with my parents. And my brother got sick, and I can’t tell if I’m coming down with a cold or not. I really hope I’m not since I have a party to go to on Saturday 

[Coyotea]

I’m sick. 

[Coyotea]

I don’t know if I’ll be able to go to the party on Saturday, and we were supposed to go to some live concert today. :/ 

[Aurora]

Oh no, I'm sorry to hear that. It's so annoying when we've been looking forward to something and then we get ill... Do you mind me asking, what kind of bug you have? I find that lemon, ginger and honey, mixed with hot water usually helps me recover really quickly if I have a cold. Have you tried that? Or is it a different kind of bug? 

[Coyotea]

1 hour ago, Aurora said:

Oh no, I'm sorry to hear that. It's so annoying when we've been looking forward to something and then we get ill... Do you mind me asking, what kind of bug you have? I find that lemon, ginger and honey, mixed with hot water usually helps me recover really quickly if I have a cold. Have you tried that? Or is it a different kind of bug? 

I think it’s a cold. My throat hurts, I have a headache, stuffy nose, general shitty sick feeling. I threw up a few times last night. 

[Luie]

23 hours ago, Coyotea said:

I think it’s a cold. My throat hurts, I have a headache, stuffy nose, general shitty sick feeling. I threw up a few times last night. 

That's definitely annoying. How are you feeling today @Coyotea?

[Coyotea]

Oh, ew. I hate the new 3.0

Eugh..

[Coyotea]

Why the fuck is there a ring around my pfp when I go to my account?! It looks so fucking ugly what the hell

[Coyotea]

Oh fucking- and the cover images are squashed to hell and back?! What’s even the point.

fuck this, honestly.

[Coyotea]

Oh, and there fucking goes my pfp 

well fuck this site.

[Coyotea]

You know, I thought this website might be better than Trevorspace but it’s the most desolate and lonely site ever, not to mention the new 3.0 SUCKS.

The cover pictures are broken.

the animation at the bottom covers things that you should be able to read and click.

You can’t change your pfp to make it personalized, you can’t post pictures of anything.

None of the confidential support feels comfortable or productive, it just makes me feel worse, so it doesn’t help.

all in all…I’m considering deleting my account! 

[Megs-]

The reason y can’t change pfp is cus some bug issues haven’t been sorted..

[Megs-]

Some bugs haven’t been fixed and DTL team are working on it that is why nothing works 

[Luie]

8 hours ago, TheForeverTired said:

You know, I thought this website might be better than Trevorspace but it’s the most desolate and lonely site ever, not to mention the new 3.0 SUCKS.

The cover pictures are broken.

the animation at the bottom covers things that you should be able to read and click.

You can’t change your pfp to make it personalized, you can’t post pictures of anything.

None of the confidential support feels comfortable or productive, it just makes me feel worse, so it doesn’t help.

all in all…I’m considering deleting my account! 

 

Hey @TheForeverTired, Luie here, one of the support mentors with Ditch the Label.

I totally get where you're coming from, and I'm sorry to hear that the website hasn't been living up to your expectations. I want you to know that our tech team is on it, working hard to fix those glitches and make things better. I will let @Harper know. 

I understand how frustrating it must be with the broken cover pictures, the wonky animation, and the limitations on personalization. I appreciate your patience as we iron out these issues. Your feedback is super helpful for us to pinpoint and solve these problems. I'm sorry to hear that the confidential support hasn't been as comforting as it should be. We're committed to making improvements to ensure it's a more positive and helpful space for you.

If you have any specific suggestions or details on what we can do better, we're all ears. Your input is key to making this platform awesome for everyone  Thanks a bunch for hanging in there. We're working to make things right, and I hope you'll stick around to see the positive changes we're aiming for!

 

[Luie]

5 hours ago, Megs- said:

Some bugs haven’t been fixed and DTL team are working on it that is why nothing works 

Thanks @Megs- for being supportive and patient with the new system and changes! 

[Coyotea]

10 hours ago, Megs- said:

Some bugs haven’t been fixed and DTL team are working on it that is why nothing works 

Then why completely get rid of the old dark mode? They had testers who could switch to this version and they did. I don’t see why you’d get rid of the old version, it worked fine, looked great.

[Coyotea]

4 hours ago, Luie said:

Hey @TheForeverTired, Luie here, one of the support mentors with Ditch the Label.

I totally get where you're coming from, and I'm sorry to hear that the website hasn't been living up to your expectations. I want you to know that our tech team is on it, working hard to fix those glitches and make things better. I will let @Harper know. 

I understand how frustrating it must be with the broken cover pictures, the wonky animation, and the limitations on personalization. I appreciate your patience as we iron out these issues. Your feedback is super helpful for us to pinpoint and solve these problems. I'm sorry to hear that the confidential support hasn't been as comforting as it should be. We're committed to making improvements to ensure it's a more positive and helpful space for you.

If you have any specific suggestions or details on what we can do better, we're all ears. Your input is key to making this platform awesome for everyone  Thanks a bunch for hanging in there. We're working to make things right, and I hope you'll stick around to see the positive changes we're aiming for!

It’s the site as a whole that frustrates me, it’s so empty, 90% of the posts for fun are dead and I rarely see people online, the most I’ve seen, even on weekends, has been 5-6. Part of the reason I came to this website was to make friends and find an environment with better moderation, I found the moderation but everything else is lacking, at least in my eyes. The only thing that has done anything for me is this journal, and even then 90% of the time it’s not helpful when mods come to comment. Like I said confidential support hasn’t helped, but before you got rid of the old dark mode at least things worked.

I doubt I’ll stick around, if anything I’ll log out and forget about this site for a while and then log back in and be equally disappointed. I didn’t want to delete my account that much before but honestly? It seems like the best option. 

[Coyotea]

At first I thought it was just the “upload an existing file” or whatever that didn’t work, nope! Neither one works!

[Megs-]

Sorry you feel like that, hopefully harper can help