I'm still alive

[Blc]

Hi all, 

 

Thought I'd write this to tell all the people that actually care that I'm still alive! Still not doing great, but yh I'm back 

[Monsoon]

51 minutes ago, Blc said:

Hi all, 

Thought I'd write this to tell all the people that actually care that I'm still alive! Still not doing great, but yh I'm back 

Hey BLC,

It's nice to hear from you again - thank you for checking in :)

I'm sorry to hear you're not doing great. What's going on for you right now?

[Blc]

I'm missing my ex , that and I'm still thinking about what happened on Friday, at lunch, my best friend told me to fill her water bottle up and she likes really cold water so long story short, I got her the water, it wasn't cold enough and it put her In a bad mood , which then put me in a bad mood, because I thought she was upset at me . Bad enough right? Then after lunch my class and another class were playing rounders, if you guys know what that is, then my turn came up, and I guess I got a little too excited and threw the bat, it was only a small one mind you, but I threw it behind me and it hit one of the other tas in the head, it wasn't a bad cut thankfully, but it cut his head and I literally almost had another breakdown, he reassured me he was fine but I still feel bad, it was an accident, but I hurt another person, because of my carelessness, he is fine don't worry but I was so scared of doing it again I could barely concentrate when I had another turn, why do I still feel bad? I still don't understand 

[lesboMar]

Aw, I understand that feeling of intense guilt. I'm sorry you feel that, it really, really sucks :(

I just got an account so I didn't see your original post, but I am very glad to hear that you are still alive! I am really sorry to hear that you aren't doing the best right now. As someone who might get broken up with by her girlfriend due to misunderstandings & disagreements, I can imagine the whole ex thing is pretty rough for you. I hope you are in a better mental state soon. <3

[Duckie]

13 hours ago, Blc said:

I'm missing my ex , that and I'm still thinking about what happened on Friday, at lunch, my best friend told me to fill her water bottle up and she likes really cold water so long story short, I got her the water, it wasn't cold enough and it put her In a bad mood , which then put me in a bad mood, because I thought she was upset at me . Bad enough right? Then after lunch my class and another class were playing rounders, if you guys know what that is, then my turn came up, and I guess I got a little too excited and threw the bat, it was only a small one mind you, but I threw it behind me and it hit one of the other tas in the head, it wasn't a bad cut thankfully, but it cut his head and I literally almost had another breakdown, he reassured me he was fine but I still feel bad, it was an accident, but I hurt another person, because of my carelessness, he is fine don't worry but I was so scared of doing it again I could barely concentrate when I had another turn, why do I still feel bad? I still don't understand 

Hi @Blc,

Happy to see you here again. How are you?

It sounds like you had the best intentions filling up your friend's water bottle, and it was a really nice thing of you to do. Your friend might have had a specific preference wanting it super cold and not clarifying this to you. These things happen and I'm sure your friend really appreciates that you filled up her bottle regardless. But having cold water that's not cold enough is not enough to put her in a bad mood. Maybe there is something else going on with her? Have you spoken since?

It sounds like you got a bit too excited, like you said. I think we've all been there and can relate. The important thing is that you immediately checked on the guy and apologised. He appreciates that you did the right thing. Please don't let this take away your joy of playing. You can't imagine how many times I've done silly little mistakes due to being too keen/excited. It is completely normal and a lot of people will be understanding of it, as it is something we've all done :) You meant well in both of these situations. How are you feeling now?

[Blc]

16 hours ago, lesboMar said:

Aw, I understand that feeling of intense guilt. I'm sorry you feel that, it really, really sucks :(

I just got an account so I didn't see your original post, but I am very glad to hear that you are still alive! I am really sorry to hear that you aren't doing the best right now. As someone who might get broken up with by her girlfriend due to misunderstandings & disagreements, I can imagine the whole ex thing is pretty rough for you. I hope you are in a better mental state soon. <3

The thing is, it was me who broke up with her, I won't go into it now because I'll probably be here forever, but long story short, we stopped talking last year, well. No, she talked but not a lot, this was before it ended like a month or two before It ended and then I told my friends, even when they could see I was struggling they kept saying she isn't who she says she is, I knew she was because we had FaceTimed before so we knew who each other were she also sent me a lot of pictures of her face, so I knew it was her. But even when I told them that, it was still the same the teachers made it worse because they kept saying she could be being used to use me in to giving the people using her money. That with how stressed I was about it was what made me end it, I didn't want to, but I felt like I didn't have a choice, I wanted the thoughts to stop because they were stressing me out, and when I tell you I was devastated after ending it I was devastated and still am now. To make it worse my friends when I told them I'd done it, despite how upset I must've sounded just said good, so that was the final nail in the coffin. I'm trying to forget her, but I can't I miss her so much, I've been with two people since then, but it's not the same, and everyday I'm thinking about her so it's basically making any other relationship difficult because I'm still thinking about her.

 

6 hours ago, Duckie said:

Hi @Blc,

Happy to see you here again. How are you?

It sounds like you had the best intentions filling up your friend's water bottle, and it was a really nice thing of you to do. Your friend might have had a specific preference wanting it super cold and not clarifying this to you. These things happen and I'm sure your friend really appreciates that you filled up her bottle regardless. But having cold water that's not cold enough is not enough to put her in a bad mood. Maybe there is something else going on with her? Have you spoken since?

It sounds like you got a bit too excited, like you said. I think we've all been there and can relate. The important thing is that you immediately checked on the guy and apologised. He appreciates that you did the right thing. Please don't let this take away your joy of playing. You can't imagine how many times I've done silly little mistakes due to being too keen/excited. It is completely normal and a lot of people will be understanding of it, as it is something we've all done :) You meant well in both of these situations. How are you feeling now?

Yes I have, were cool and well, yes, that's true she does, she loves ice cold water, she doesn't need to clarify, I know she loves cold water that's the thing as well, I also kind of have a crush on her, so there's that, but shes also my ridiculously close best friend, we know pretty much everything about each other so I know what she likes and what she wants. Yes it wasn't just that, but believe me, it didn't help at all, and she turned on our other friend who was at the table at the same too when he said , but it's just water lt won't kill you and then she said do you want to fall out? To him so yeah the water thing didn't help. 

 

 

Physically? I'm ok mentally? Not so , much 

[Duckie]

2 hours ago, Blc said:

The thing is, it was me who broke up with her, I won't go into it now because I'll probably be here forever, but long story short, we stopped talking last year, well. No, she talked but not a lot, this was before it ended like a month or two before It ended and then I told my friends, even when they could see I was struggling they kept saying she isn't who she says she is, I knew she was because we had FaceTimed before so we knew who each other were she also sent me a lot of pictures of her face, so I knew it was her. But even when I told them that, it was still the same the teachers made it worse because they kept saying she could be being used to use me in to giving the people using her money. That with how stressed I was about it was what made me end it, I didn't want to, but I felt like I didn't have a choice, I wanted the thoughts to stop because they were stressing me out, and when I tell you I was devastated after ending it I was devastated and still am now. To make it worse my friends when I told them I'd done it, despite how upset I must've sounded just said good, so that was the final nail in the coffin. I'm trying to forget her, but I can't I miss her so much, I've been with two people since then, but it's not the same, and everyday I'm thinking about her so it's basically making any other relationship difficult because I'm still thinking about her.

Yes I have, were cool and well, yes, that's true she does, she loves ice cold water, she doesn't need to clarify, I know she loves cold water that's the thing as well, I also kind of have a crush on her, so there's that, but shes also my ridiculously close best friend, we know pretty much everything about each other so I know what she likes and what she wants. Yes it wasn't just that, but believe me, it didn't help at all, and she turned on our other friend who was at the table at the same too when he said , but it's just water lt won't kill you and then she said do you want to fall out? To him so yeah the water thing didn't help. 

Physically? I'm ok mentally? Not so , much 

Hi @Blc

Thank you so much for sharing this with us. It sounds like you've been through a lot lately. I can sort of see that your friends want to look out for you and make sure you are safe when interacting with strangers online - I think that genuinley comes from a place of caring for you. But I don't think it was meant for you to feel like you had no choice but to break up. Maybe it's become part of something unfinished, because it simply just ended too quickly. A part of you might be wondering what could have been had you not broken up. But it might have been a different experience (for the good and the bad) to meet in real life, and that's where these things tend to get confusing. You say you aren't over her, but also mention having a crush on your friend, which I am curious to know more about, if you're happy to share this of course.

I can tell you really care about your friends and you value their opinion, which I think is a good thing. I can tell that you are a good friend. How do you think ice-water-girl feels about you? Could you ever see yourself telling her how you feel?

[Blc]

I'm struggling but I'm talking to the person who is really special to me again and I have made he happy, as long as I make someone happy even though I'm not that's what matters most to me 

[Aurora]

10 hours ago, Blc said:

I'm struggling but I'm talking to the person who is really special to me again and I have made he happy, as long as I make someone happy even though I'm not that's what matters most to me 

Hi @Blc, it's good to hear from you again. Thank you for being so open with us. I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling but it's nice that you are back in contact with someone who is really special to you. Do you mind me asking, if it's your ex girlfriend you were telling us about? Please don't feel you have to answer if you don't want to. It sounds to me that when you're feeling like this, you find it helpful to connect to others. Is that right? Would you like to tell me a bit more about what's going on for you right now? We're here for you and we are here to listen. 

[Blc]

Doing better at the moment, I fell out with my best friend, but  things are getting better, still nervous about college but I'll survive! Feeling sucky as well but it'll pass

[Blc]

Sometimes I wonder if Im actually worth anything, or if I'm a good friend or bf, all ik is I suck at everything sometimes 

[TinyDinos]

1 minute ago, Blc said:

Sometimes I wonder if Im actually worth anything, or if I'm a good friend or bf, all ik is I suck at everything sometimes 

I feel this on a personal level :(

for what it’s worth though, I think you’re a genuinely kind person, and those are really hard to come by.

[TinyDinos]

2 hours ago, Blc said:

Doing better at the moment, I fell out with my best friend, but  things are getting better, still nervous about college but I'll survive! Feeling sucky as well but it'll pass

I wish I could be as optimistic as you haha. I officially start college in the winter. I already have some college credits from doing dual enrollment in High School though. 

[Megs-]

30 minutes ago, TinyDinos said:

I wish I could be as optimistic as you haha. I officially start college in the winter. I already have some college credits from doing dual enrollment in High School though. 

only just met u but u got this!

[Aurora]

20 hours ago, Blc said:

Doing better at the moment, I fell out with my best friend, but  things are getting better, still nervous about college but I'll survive! Feeling sucky as well but it'll pass

Oh no, I'm sorry to hear that. Often if we feel unwell physically, it can also have an impact on our mental health. I hope you feel better soon. 

How are things with your friend now? Have you been able to talk it out? 

Do you want to tell me a bit more what it is you feel nervous about college. Are you starting college for the first time after the summer? 

[Blc]

5 hours ago, Aurora said:

Oh no, I'm sorry to hear that. Often if we feel unwell physically, it can also have an impact on our mental health. I hope you feel better soon. 

How are things with your friend now? Have you been able to talk it out? 

Do you want to tell me a bit more what it is you feel nervous about college. Are you starting college for the first time after the summer? 

Hi yes, I am starting college after the summer, but idk you know, I guess it's just cause I've been at the school I'm at since I was eleven, so since I'm so used to that place and starting over is going to be a big step for me cause I'm one of those people where I'm not used to change so it stresses me even though it shouldn't . Also I'm nervous about my course, the performing arts course because I don't want people to laugh at me if I mess up because of all the people staring at me. Any tips for that? 

 

And things are fine turns out she was just mad at me , so were ok now I think lol