Human Insecurities

[Equivalent Ways]

You know, this could also fit into relationships, or identity categories :/ but the other day, I went for a check-up of sorts, at a new doctors place.. And I talked about a lot, and 'sexual orientation' was not one of them, so when the question came up she kinda just filled it in as smth ig and i said "sssssshhhur-yeaaah" lol

But like.... I know they just ask that for data and money making purposes... but like, is it anyones business(lol it is but im just using it as an expression)? Then I got really insecure about not knowing what 'sexual orientation' meant and what to define it as in me.

THEN i got insecure about who I share personal info with and kinda just went

So ya... anyone got any knowledge on how this can be eased a bit on my brain?

[Equivalent Ways]

ah, I also had a bit of a meltdown earlier when I was just overwhelmed by home work and classes and stuff.. Idk sometimes i just feel pathetic for not being capable to handle much, even though I kinda know im not pathetic hence "insecurities"

[Aurora]

On 5/13/2023 at 8:23 PM, Equivalent Ways said:

ah, I also had a bit of a meltdown earlier when I was just overwhelmed by home work and classes and stuff.. Idk sometimes i just feel pathetic for not being capable to handle much, even though I kinda know im not pathetic hence "insecurities"

Hi @Equivalent Ways, thanks for opening up. I wanted to check in with you today anyway to see how you are doing and if you are still feeling disassociated? 

I can reassure you that we all feel overwhelmed from time to time and feel like we should be able to handle more. I've noticed that you give some great advice to other's on here and I'm wondering, what would you say to someone who is feeling insecure? What advice would you give them? 

I'm not quite sure I understand your question about sexual orientation. Do you mind clarifying for me what you're unsure about? Is it what the term sexual orientation means or what your own sexual orientation is? 

I know what you mean about sharing personal information. These days we are asked to share a lot of personal information and we're not always told what it is used for. What you might find useful in those situations is to ask those kind of questions: what information do you need from me (often a lot of it is optional), what is it used for, how long will you keep the information, who will it be shared with etc. Like this you can make an informed decision about whether you want to share your personal details and it can give you a bit of control as to what you share. What do you think?

[Equivalent Ways]

5 hours ago, Aurora said:

Hi @Equivalent Ways, thanks for opening up. I wanted to check in with you today anyway to see how you are doing and if you are still feeling disassociated? 

I can reassure you that we all feel overwhelmed from time to time and feel like we should be able to handle more. I've noticed that you give some great advice to other's on here and I'm wondering, what would you say to someone who is feeling insecure? What advice would you give them? 

I'm not quite sure I understand your question about sexual orientation. Do you mind clarifying for me what you're unsure about? Is it what the term sexual orientation means or what your own sexual orientation is? 

I know what you mean about sharing personal information. These days we are asked to share a lot of personal information and we're not always told what it is used for. What you might find useful in those situations is to ask those kind of questions: what information do you need from me (often a lot of it is optional), what is it used for, how long will you keep the information, who will it be shared with etc. Like this you can make an informed decision about whether you want to share your personal details and it can give you a bit of control as to what you share. What do you think?

Thanks, I still feel a little dissociated unfortunately :/ just feeling out of it

i actually behind the scenes have talks with myselves and give the advise to others, to myself ‘:) 

I am unsure what the term sexual orientation means 

I think that the last point is a good one, my mom is a great example of that. They wanted to know my ssn and my mom left it blank and they did not mind so those kinds of questions are really intimidating for me, but they are really good ones thank you

[Aurora]

15 hours ago, Equivalent Ways said:

Thanks, I still feel a little dissociated unfortunately :/ just feeling out of it

i actually behind the scenes have talks with myselves and give the advise to others, to myself ‘:) 

I am unsure what the term sexual orientation means 

I think that the last point is a good one, my mom is a great example of that. They wanted to know my ssn and my mom left it blank and they did not mind so those kinds of questions are really intimidating for me, but they are really good ones thank you

I'm sorry to hear that you're still feeling a little dissociated - would you say that these feelings are less strong than they were before, stronger or have they stayed about the same? Also, I've noticed that you've commented on a few other posts that you're not feeling great at the moment. Do you mind me asking if anything has triggered that? If you can, try and be gentle and kind to yourself and maybe give yourself some space to process some of those feelings. It can be helpful to remind ourselves that our emotional wellbeing doesn't stay the same and it's really normal to have ups and downs. If you are feeling low at the moment, just remember it won't stay like this. And we are here for you! 

Thanks for clarifying. Sexual orientation is about who you're attracted to (this can be sexual, romantic and/or emotional) and who you would like a relationship with. Some words that people use to describe their sexual orientation are lesbian, gay, bisexual, heterosexual/straight, asexual, demisexual, pansexual, ,queer, aromantic and biromantic. However, I have come across quite a few forms that only list a few options and might use words such as homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual and asexual. If you don't know what any of these words mean just let me know. 

I know what you mean by finding it intimidating to have to ask questions around what your data is being used for. If you don't feel comfortable to, then maybe you can do what your mom does and just leave it blank. You might also find that you could just start off by asking one question eg "who will this information be shared with"? I find that people usually want to make sure that you are feeling at ease about giving them your personal information and once you've asked it a few times it will feel a lot more natural, asking those kinds of questions. 

[Equivalent Ways]

6 hours ago, Aurora said:

I'm sorry to hear that you're still feeling a little dissociated - would you say that these feelings are less strong than they were before, stronger or have they stayed about the same? Also, I've noticed that you've commented on a few other posts that you're not feeling great at the moment. Do you mind me asking if anything has triggered that? If you can, try and be gentle and kind to yourself and maybe give yourself some space to process some of those feelings. It can be helpful to remind ourselves that our emotional wellbeing doesn't stay the same and it's really normal to have ups and downs. If you are feeling low at the moment, just remember it won't stay like this. And we are here for you! 

Thanks for clarifying. Sexual orientation is about who you're attracted to (this can be sexual, romantic and/or emotional) and who you would like a relationship with. Some words that people use to describe their sexual orientation are lesbian, gay, bisexual, heterosexual/straight, asexual, demisexual, pansexual, ,queer, aromantic and biromantic. However, I have come across quite a few forms that only list a few options and might use words such as homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual and asexual. If you don't know what any of these words mean just let me know. 

I know what you mean by finding it intimidating to have to ask questions around what your data is being used for. If you don't feel comfortable to, then maybe you can do what your mom does and just leave it blank. You might also find that you could just start off by asking one question eg "who will this information be shared with"? I find that people usually want to make sure that you are feeling at ease about giving them your personal information and once you've asked it a few times it will feel a lot more natural, asking those kinds of questions. 

thanks Aurora. Its funny, I just came to the conclusion yesterday that even though it feels like it will be forever, it wont. I study the moods, emotions, triggers of myself, but part of the reason my fam decided that I needed extra help is because they do'nt make sense. They don't have a pattern, I was in one of my lows yesterday, and thought, huh, its inevadable i will feel too happy again, I wonder when that time will come..

Like, sometimes there is no reason for it, and I don't think its just teenage mood swings entirely either... Or its like everything is a trigger. ':( so as of lately, it could have been anything, mostly I have been having a rough time being a little under the weather, so that might contribute.

I just get scared, angsty, and depressed for when the next crazy, unpredictable mood switch is gonna come

Ah yes, and thanks for helping with those other questions<3

Your tips are helpful, and neat gif too.

[Aurora]

19 hours ago, Equivalent Ways said:

thanks Aurora. Its funny, I just came to the conclusion yesterday that even though it feels like it will be forever, it wont. I study the moods, emotions, triggers of myself, but part of the reason my fam decided that I needed extra help is because they do'nt make sense. They don't have a pattern, I was in one of my lows yesterday, and thought, huh, its inevadable i will feel too happy again, I wonder when that time will come..

Like, sometimes there is no reason for it, and I don't think its just teenage mood swings entirely either... Or its like everything is a trigger. ':( so as of lately, it could have been anything, mostly I have been having a rough time being a little under the weather, so that might contribute.

I just get scared, angsty, and depressed for when the next crazy, unpredictable mood switch is gonna come

Ah yes, and thanks for helping with those other questions<3

Your tips are helpful, and neat gif too.

I'm glad to hear they are helpful 

I can understand why you feel scared about when the next mood swing will come. Especially if you can't explain it and there doesn't seem to be a trigger for it. It sounds like this has been going on for a while now. Is that right? I can tell that you're really working on improving your emotional wellbeing and not let these mood swings dictate your life. I'm just wondering, have you noticed a difference in how you deal with these low moods now, compared to what it used to be like when they first started?

[Equivalent Ways]

4 hours ago, Aurora said:

I'm glad to hear they are helpful 

I can understand why you feel scared about when the next mood swing will come. Especially if you can't explain it and there doesn't seem to be a trigger for it. It sounds like this has been going on for a while now. Is that right? I can tell that you're really working on improving your emotional wellbeing and not let these mood swings dictate your life. I'm just wondering, have you noticed a difference in how you deal with these low moods now, compared to what it used to be like when they first started?

Hello! Yep it is a bit scary what a ride… Yes, the low mood swings used to be longer and more dominant, and it got to a really dark place. This had been going on for about 1 1/2 years believe it or not…

now, meds and my own work have been helping to try and not let it get to low for to long :)

[Aurora]

On 5/17/2023 at 5:03 PM, Equivalent Ways said:

Hello! Yep it is a bit scary what a ride… Yes, the low mood swings used to be longer and more dominant, and it got to a really dark place. This had been going on for about 1 1/2 years believe it or not…

now, meds and my own work have been helping to try and not let it get to low for to long :)

That's good to hear that meds and your own work have been helping that it doesn't go on for too long!! How do you feel about your low mood, when you think about it like that? 

[Equivalent Ways]

A thought;

sometimes I wonder, as someone who had human desires, why sometimes I am so greedy, and can’t just settle with what I have and be grateful. It’s like I always need more, like it’s never enough. Gratitude is part of the cure, but I still wonder…

[Equivalent Ways]

On 5/19/2023 at 2:58 AM, Aurora said:

That's good to hear that meds and your own work have been helping that it doesn't go on for too long!! How do you feel about your low mood, when you think about it like that? 

Eh, I think it means I went too far, things got too built up, and I got too overwhelmed. I have ways that are helping calm the moment :) I am building more over time