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Possible emotional abuse?


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I'm trying to figure out if my parents are emotionally abusive.  I need to leave them bc they are homophobic but IDK if they have been emotionally abusive in the past without my realizing.  I've gone through several articles and videos but I'm still confused.  

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5 hours ago, Bisexual Soprano said:

I'm trying to figure out if my parents are emotionally abusive.  I need to leave them bc they are homophobic but IDK if they have been emotionally abusive in the past without my realizing.  I've gone through several articles and videos but I'm still confused.  

Hey there,

Thank you for coming to us to ask this important question. We are more than happy to help you explore this. I just want to thank you for reaching out to us. I can imagine that thinking about your experiences is likely to bring up challenging feelings, and I just want you to know that we are here for you. I'm wondering, would you be willing to tell us about what you have found out to far about emotional abuse and how this links to your past experiences?

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16 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

Thank you for coming to us to ask this important question. We are more than happy to help you explore this. I just want to thank you for reaching out to us. I can imagine that thinking about your experiences is likely to bring up challenging feelings, and I just want you to know that we are here for you. I'm wondering, would you be willing to tell us about what you have found out to far about emotional abuse and how this links to your past experiences?

I have been doing a lot of research on emotional abuse, and here are some of the things that resonated:

- being told "you're too sensitive"

- feeling like I'm walking on eggshells

- lots of criticism

- being guilt-tripped

- feeling caged and not having much freedom

I also feel quite a bit of self-loathing that is me internalizing things I've heard them say or seen them do.  

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Hey there,

I'm really sorry to hear that you have had to experience all of that. How have you been coping with this? It sounds like it has been pretty intense for you and I am glad you have been able to open up to us here. I'm wondering, do you think your parents realise they are doing this at all? 

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5 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

I'm really sorry to hear that you have had to experience all of that. How have you been coping with this? It sounds like it has been pretty intense for you and I am glad you have been able to open up to us here. I'm wondering, do you think your parents realise they are doing this at all? 

I don't think they realize they're doing anything wrong.  My dad was raised in a likely somewhat similar situation and both he and my mom think they know what is best for me.  Further, my dad jokes a lot about how my brother and I are "so abused" and then goes on to remind us that we ought to be happy because we have food, shelter... material things.  Just going off of posessions, I would consider myself fortunate.  But the way my thoughts are often invalidated doesn't make me happy, and given that my parents tell me I need to have "thicker skin," I don't know if they will ever see that.

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hey, glad I found this lol, you seem to have a clear list going... I don't think that those things make one feel safe and loved..hmmmm. you say you are a minor, what do you mean leave them? oh and you deserve to be treated with kindness, respect, and love :) I am here if you want to talk about it more

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41 minutes ago, Equivalent Ways said:

hey, glad I found this lol, you seem to have a clear list going... I don't think that those things make one feel safe and loved..hmmmm. you say you are a minor, what do you mean leave them? oh and you deserve to be treated with kindness, respect, and love :) I am here if you want to talk about it more

When I turn 18, I'm leaving this small town and not coming back.  It has smothered me for years:  my family, the church that teaches those same values, the lack of opportunity.  I need to start over somewhere else.

BTW thanks for the support ❤️ It's very validating to be able to sort out my feelings without them being dismissed :)

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21 minutes ago, Bisexual Soprano said:

When I turn 18, I'm leaving this small town and not coming back.  It has smothered me for years:  my family, the church that teaches those same values, the lack of opportunity.  I need to start over somewhere else.

BTW thanks for the support ❤️ It's very validating to be able to sort out my feelings without them being dismissed :)

We all support one another. So I can't speak for myself, because dang i like where I live, however my mother experienced something similar. She was extremely abused in her childhood, and had to get away from the same people, , schools, and absolute destruction and suffocation that were her parents. So she left, travelled across the whole country with only some of her stuff and a bike(i think.. I am not trying to exaggerate here -_-) and decided to start living, working, studying, and eventually making a family here. There were a whole lot more details in her adult life, but it is possible. And now she is constantly learning, working through trauma to be a good parent to us.

So it is possible, she showed me that ':) and your feelings are very valid ✨ and plus, you are not alone in trying to sort them out lol😅✌️

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8 minutes ago, Equivalent Ways said:

We all support one another. So I can't speak for myself, because dang i like where I live, however my mother experienced something similar. She was extremely abused in her childhood, and had to get away from the same people, , schools, and absolute destruction and suffocation that were her parents. So she left, travelled across the whole country with only some of her stuff and a bike(i think.. I am not trying to exaggerate here -_-) and decided to start living, working, studying, and eventually making a family here. There were a whole lot more details in her adult life, but it is possible. And now she is constantly learning, working through trauma to be a good parent to us.

So it is possible, she showed me that ':) and your feelings are very valid ✨ and plus, you are not alone in trying to sort them out lol😅✌️

Honestly glad to know that I'm not the only one.  I have time to plan but also am stuck here for all that time. 

My mom has some buried trauma but that doesn't make her a better parent :/ She's the least of three evils in my household, but sometimes she rubs me the wrong way.

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6 hours ago, Bisexual Soprano said:

Honestly glad to know that I'm not the only one.  I have time to plan but also am stuck here for all that time. 

My mom has some buried trauma but that doesn't make her a better parent :/ She's the least of three evils in my household, but sometimes she rubs me the wrong way.

Hi there, I hope you don't mind me jumping in. I'm really sorry you're going through this. It sounds to me like you don't feel very happy at home and this is having an impact on your wellbeing. Is that right? Can I ask, do you feel safe at home? Please know that we are here for you and your safety is the most important thing. 

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12 hours ago, Bisexual Soprano said:

Honestly glad to know that I'm not the only one.  I have time to plan but also am stuck here for all that time. 

My mom has some buried trauma but that doesn't make her a better parent :/ She's the least of three evils in my household, but sometimes she rubs me the wrong way.

Now I on the other hand had to stay at my dads and be stuck there for way longer than I wished.. But I managed to get to a point where i could leave and that was very good. Oftentimes trauma is passed down, I don't want to carry that chain. U got this <3

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20 minutes ago, Equivalent Ways said:

Now I on the other hand had to stay at my dads and be stuck there for way longer than I wished.. But I managed to get to a point where i could leave and that was very good. Oftentimes trauma is passed down, I don't want to carry that chain. U got this <3

You too <3 Stay strong

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