I don't have time for Depression

[Crystaliana]

I am waist deep in graduate school work and about to face my most intense month of work yet. Guess who comes knocking, nothing other than my depression. It came like a tsunami and knocked me on my butt. Now I don't know if I can continue absorbing new information, turn data into an essay, or get that presentation done that's due in two weeks. I literally do not have time for my depression and yet here it is. It's gonna take my sleep, my appetite, and my motivation until I give it the attention it craves, but I don't feel like I can afford to take my eyes off the end of the semester that's in five short weeks. I have a plan on how to move forward but I don't have any faith that it will work. This semester has sucked and I am so ready to be done with it.

[TinyDinos]

I’m so sorry to hear that

im in a bit of a depressive rut myself at the moment as well. I’m only in highschool though so the pressure to perform is a lot less. Im pushing through the semester because if i screw up again I’d have to either repeat the grade or do summer school and I don’t wanna do that. People really don’t understand that the lack of performance isn’t because of a lack of comprehension but rather absence of motivation. But enough of my brain dump haha, I actually commented so I could tell you about something that might help.

[TinyDinos]

when I’m in tough spots like this, something that helps with the insomnia part of it is to lay the opposite way on my bed, so out of head where your feet would normally go. I usually pass right out . As far as motivation goes, in my personal experience, when it gets bad I lose interest in everything else I’d normally like to do, so I wind up doing my schoolwork because I’ve got nothing better to do. I work for a while and when I notice that I’m starting to lose focus, I stop working. I don’t set goals.

A popular technique for coping with the motivation loss associated with depression is to break things down into smaller tasks and set small goals, but personally that doesn’t really work for me (it might work for you though so don’t be afraid to give it a try if you haven’t already :) ) instead of that method, I purposely don’t set any goals, because if I don’t meet that goal or feel pressured to meet a quota I get even MORE down on myself and don’t work as well overall because I tend to stress myself out . I focus on one subject, and just work the best I can at it where I’m at, and usually by the time I’m burnt out with working, I’ve already completed and sometimes even surpassed what I was supposed to complete for the day. It’s so funny how you can trick your brain into working with you sometimes. Anyways, I really hope this helps, and that things get a bit better

[TinyDinos]

I commented the advice but it has to get moderated ✌

[Crystaliana]

@TinyTurtles don't sell yourself short. High school is super hard and sometimes even more so than college with tons of pressure. I was lucky enough to not have depression problems until college and do not know if I would have survived high school with depression. I understand the lack of motivation and even the lack of ability to even learn new things due to mental issues. Depression sucks no matter what stage of life you are in. Let's muddle through together. :)

[TinyDinos]

16 minutes ago, Crystaliana said:

@TinyTurtles don't sell yourself short. High school is super hard and sometimes even more so than college with tons of pressure. I was lucky enough to not have depression problems until college and do not know if I would have survived high school with depression. I understand the lack of motivation and even the lack of ability to even learn new things due to mental issues. Depression sucks no matter what stage of life you are in. Let's muddle through together. :)

Thanks a ton. I’m having an especially bad morning (PST) and it means a lot

[Crystaliana]

3 minutes ago, TinyTurtles said:

Thanks a ton. I’m having an especially bad morning (PST) and it means a lot

Yeah, today had been hard for me to. However, I am proud of both of us because we both are talking about what we are feeling! Yay us :)

[Luie]

16 hours ago, Crystaliana said:

I am waist deep in graduate school work and about to face my most intense month of work yet. Guess who comes knocking, nothing other than my depression. It came like a tsunami and knocked me on my butt. Now I don't know if I can continue absorbing new information, turn data into an essay, or get that presentation done that's due in two weeks. I literally do not have time for my depression and yet here it is. It's gonna take my sleep, my appetite, and my motivation until I give it the attention it craves, but I don't feel like I can afford to take my eyes off the end of the semester that's in five short weeks. I have a plan on how to move forward but I don't have any faith that it will work. This semester has sucked and I am so ready to be done with it.

Heyy @Crystaliana, I am Luie, one of the support mentors with Ditch the Label. I hear you in terms of the graduate school work load you've had and it definitely can be a lot. It's completely normal to have low mood and I can tell it's impacting your sleep, appetite and motivation. I understand the work required towards the end of the semester, I want to check with you if there are any stress management techniques you're trying already for yourself? 

[Crystaliana]

19 hours ago, Luie said:

Heyy @Crystaliana, I am Luie, one of the support mentors with Ditch the Label. I hear you in terms of the graduate school work load you've had and it definitely can be a lot. It's completely normal to have low mood and I can tell it's impacting your sleep, appetite and motivation. I understand the work required towards the end of the semester, I want to check with you if there are any stress management techniques you're trying already for yourself? 

I am doing better now than I was two days ago. I have been having conversations with multiple people working to sort out my feelings and struggles. That has really helped and I now have a plan of how to move forward. I think the worst part for me is when I don't have a plan for dealing with depression when it comes up. However, this morning was hard. I didn't get out of bed for over an half hour after I was supposed to because I couldn't will myself to move. This tends to become an issue when my depression rears up every once in a while and I am still trying to figure out ways to deal with it. At home, I will just put my phone out of reach from my bed, but at school I don't want to do that cause I have roommate who might get woken up from my alarm going of constantly. I tend to let it go off for a while before getting up to turn it off when I can't reach it.

[Luie]

1 hour ago, Crystaliana said:

I am doing better now than I was two days ago. I have been having conversations with multiple people working to sort out my feelings and struggles. That has really helped and I now have a plan of how to move forward. I think the worst part for me is when I don't have a plan for dealing with depression when it comes up. However, this morning was hard. I didn't get out of bed for over an half hour after I was supposed to because I couldn't will myself to move. This tends to become an issue when my depression rears up every once in a while and I am still trying to figure out ways to deal with it. At home, I will just put my phone out of reach from my bed, but at school I don't want to do that cause I have roommate who might get woken up from my alarm going of constantly. I tend to let it go off for a while before getting up to turn it off when I can't reach it.

I am glad to hear that you do have an in person support system around you that you are able to reach, and having a plan for yourself is a really good strategy for when any of the symptoms hit you. The phone idea sounds like it is working for you at home, however from what I understand at school you're in a boarding/accommodation system and you're being mindful of your roommate?