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How do I get passed the scary part of coming out?


QueenStan1986    

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This is my first time using this site so I apologise if I'm using it wrong.

I'm like 87%  sure that I'm bi after a long three years of questioning and I want to come out to my parents but I just don't know how. I'm definitely sure that my dad supports it but I'm still not sure about my mum because she's transphobic and I don't know if her disapproval carries to sexuality or if it stops at gender but I'm worried about it. I've thought about just telling my dad and asking him not to tell my mum but I know that I can't trust that option very much. It's to the point where every time I'm with my dad, the sentence 'I'm bisexual' is always on the tip of my tongue but it's like there's a wall in front of me that I just build with fear and if I don't come out soon I think that I might just loose my mind because I've had multiple vivid dreams of coming out and literally sobbing when I wake up because it's not real.   

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On 3/22/2023 at 2:29 AM, QueenStan1986 said:

This is my first time using this site so I apologise if I'm using it wrong.

I'm like 87%  sure that I'm bi after a long three years of questioning and I want to come out to my parents but I just don't know how. I'm definitely sure that my dad supports it but I'm still not sure about my mum because she's transphobic and I don't know if her disapproval carries to sexuality or if it stops at gender but I'm worried about it. I've thought about just telling my dad and asking him not to tell my mum but I know that I can't trust that option very much. It's to the point where every time I'm with my dad, the sentence 'I'm bisexual' is always on the tip of my tongue but it's like there's a wall in front of me that I just build with fear and if I don't come out soon I think that I might just loose my mind because I've had multiple vivid dreams of coming out and literally sobbing when I wake up because it's not real.   

Hey,

Welcome! I'm one of the digital mentors here and I give advice to those who reach out to us. It sounds like you're really keen to tell your dad and it's great that he supports it. It's completely normal to feel fear around this, and it would be unusual if you weren't experiencing this. With your mum, even if she did react badly at first, please be reassured that for plenty of parents, they eventually come around to the news, and this is because of the strong love they have for you as their child; love is one of the greatest forces able to open up someone's mind and heart. What do you think?

digital-mentor.png.37594766624d87064910e

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On 3/21/2023 at 10:29 PM, QueenStan1986 said:

This is my first time using this site so I apologise if I'm using it wrong.

I'm like 87%  sure that I'm bi after a long three years of questioning and I want to come out to my parents but I just don't know how. I'm definitely sure that my dad supports it but I'm still not sure about my mum because she's transphobic and I don't know if her disapproval carries to sexuality or if it stops at gender but I'm worried about it. I've thought about just telling my dad and asking him not to tell my mum but I know that I can't trust that option very much. It's to the point where every time I'm with my dad, the sentence 'I'm bisexual' is always on the tip of my tongue but it's like there's a wall in front of me that I just build with fear and if I don't come out soon I think that I might just loose my mind because I've had multiple vivid dreams of coming out and literally sobbing when I wake up because it's not real.   

Hey @QueenStan1986 I’m Emmy. I completely understand where you’re coming from (well except your mum being transphobic) with the barrier when you feel like you want to tell your parents and you’re so close but then you just get scared? That is me right now but trust me, when I told my sister it was like a little bit of the weight came off my shoulders. What I’m currently doing is trying to figure out how to write it down on paper and I might just give that to my mum. You might be able to do that too if you can’t figure out how to say it verbally.

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