Equivalent Ways Posted March 21, 2023 Share Posted March 21, 2023 ok hi, so 1) My brother brought home his new GF last night, on a whim who he just met last week and went on a date with the day before, for dinner :/ Spoiler She is already now his ex, thank god It really bothered me cuz I think my brother is maybe a decent boyfriend but she is really toxic, spooky, and not good to be around. As the middle child I just get to watch my older brother with this stuff and its his choice but she is kinda dangerous. Okok I know what you are wondering @Digital Mentor, no plz don't send the police, none of us are harmedIn fact I feel safe rn :) In fact, my mom and I unanimously agreed on this, communicated this to him, and he is stopping that relationship now. I feel good about that. I wanted to post this though because it all gave me so much anxietyI worked through it a bit but I still can't help but feel a little disturbed and have some stuff brought up by it :( I would post a butt ton of more details but iLazy lol~ Has anyone experienced smth like this before or/and what do you think? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted March 22, 2023 Share Posted March 22, 2023 21 hours ago, Equivalent Ways said: ok hi, so 1) My brother brought home his new GF last night, on a whim who he just met last week and went on a date with the day before, for dinner :/ Reveal hidden contents She is already now his ex, thank god It really bothered me cuz I think my brother is maybe a decent boyfriend but she is really toxic, spooky, and not good to be around. As the middle child I just get to watch my older brother with this stuff and its his choice but she is kinda dangerous. Okok I know what you are wondering @Digital Mentor, no plz don't send the police, none of us are harmedIn fact I feel safe rn :) In fact, my mom and I unanimously agreed on this, communicated this to him, and he is stopping that relationship now. I feel good about that. I wanted to post this though because it all gave me so much anxietyI worked through it a bit but I still can't help but feel a little disturbed and have some stuff brought up by it :( I would post a butt ton of more details but iLazy lol~ Has anyone experienced smth like this before or/and what do you think? Hey there, Thank you for sharing this with us. I'm glad you are feeling safe, but sorry to hear you have been experiencing anxiety from it; would you like to tell us more? What has it brought up for you? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Equivalent Ways Posted March 22, 2023 Author Share Posted March 22, 2023 53 minutes ago, Monsoon said: Hey there, Thank you for sharing this with us. I'm glad you are feeling safe, but sorry to hear you have been experiencing anxiety from it; would you like to tell us more? What has it brought up for you? Hey, my brother has moved on but I still cant help it. She was not cool, yet he still put his arm around her and comforted her....more than he ever did for me when I was younger. I am just a bit jealous on top of confused on top of shaken up cuz ~~ch-ch-changes~~ ya know? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TinyDinos Posted March 23, 2023 Share Posted March 23, 2023 On 3/21/2023 at 1:04 PM, Equivalent Ways said: ok hi, so 1) My brother brought home his new GF last night, on a whim who he just met last week and went on a date with the day before, for dinner :/ Reveal hidden contents She is already now his ex, thank god It really bothered me cuz I think my brother is maybe a decent boyfriend but she is really toxic, spooky, and not good to be around. As the middle child I just get to watch my older brother with this stuff and its his choice but she is kinda dangerous. Okok I know what you are wondering @Digital Mentor, no plz don't send the police, none of us are harmedIn fact I feel safe rn :) In fact, my mom and I unanimously agreed on this, communicated this to him, and he is stopping that relationship now. I feel good about that. I wanted to post this though because it all gave me so much anxietyI worked through it a bit but I still can't help but feel a little disturbed and have some stuff brought up by it :( I would post a butt ton of more details but iLazy lol~ Has anyone experienced smth like this before or/and what do you think? Hey. I’m so sorry about the late reply I’m really glad that he dropped her and took y’all’s advice, but I’m sorry that you experienced that. I’ve never gone through something I’ve this with a sibling since I’m the oldest lol, but I’ve gone through something similar with my dad as far as the jealousy goes that you commented about, both with him and actually with my friends too. I would find myself really bitter when spending time with close friends because they were still in a two parent household and everything. Totally not their fault by any means, but it really gets you thinking like, “why do they get to have that when I don’t? What did I do to deserve to lose my dad while they get to have theirs until college and beyond?” And of course none of this is logical or fair and I’ve come to terms with it now, but that was a real thing that I was confronted by for a WHILE. The other thing is my dad taking his gfs kids to school 🫠 the several gfs he’s been with have had kids and he FAITHFULLY picked them up and dropped them off for WEEKS, He never did that with my sisters and I. He actually refused because he said it was my moms job. The gf he’s with now has one daughter and he takes her to school too. As well as attends every award ceremony, takes her out to eat with her mom, buys her gifts all of the time, does her homework with her, cooks her meals, spends quality time with her, the whole nine yards. And again, it isn’t her fault, but I cant help but envy her . She’s gone through her fair share of daddy issues too, and I’m happy that she gets to have a better experience now, but why is he treating HER like that when he has three kids of his own that he never did ANYTHING for??? The poor girl is only 6 but I can’t help the jealousy. Why does she get treated better than his REAL kids, and even sometimes at the EXPENSE of his own kids? It hurts to be deprived of that affection and relationship, but it hurts so much differently when you see that the other person is capable of that type of connection and interaction and is choosing not to participate. And the worst of them all, seeing them actively choose to participate in that healthy relationship, but with someone else. I really wish things were different. 1 MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted March 23, 2023 Share Posted March 23, 2023 On 3/22/2023 at 6:24 PM, Equivalent Ways said: Hey, my brother has moved on but I still cant help it. She was not cool, yet he still put his arm around her and comforted her....more than he ever did for me when I was younger. I am just a bit jealous on top of confused on top of shaken up cuz ~~ch-ch-changes~~ ya know? Hey there, Ah, okay, so there is something in terms of how much comfort he gave to her, is that right? I'm wondering, can you tell me more about that and what it was like not having as much as you would have hoped for? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Equivalent Ways Posted March 23, 2023 Author Share Posted March 23, 2023 6 hours ago, TinyTurtles said: Hey. I’m so sorry about the late reply I’m really glad that he dropped her and took y’all’s advice, but I’m sorry that you experienced that. I’ve never gone through something I’ve this with a sibling since I’m the oldest lol, but I’ve gone through something similar with my dad as far as the jealousy goes that you commented about, both with him and actually with my friends too. I would find myself really bitter when spending time with close friends because they were still in a two parent household and everything. Totally not their fault by any means, but it really gets you thinking like, “why do they get to have that when I don’t? What did I do to deserve to lose my dad while they get to have theirs until college and beyond?” And of course none of this is logical or fair and I’ve come to terms with it now, but that was a real thing that I was confronted by for a WHILE. The other thing is my dad taking his gfs kids to school 🫠 the several gfs he’s been with have had kids and he FAITHFULLY picked them up and dropped them off for WEEKS, He never did that with my sisters and I. He actually refused because he said it was my moms job. The gf he’s with now has one daughter and he takes her to school too. As well as attends every award ceremony, takes her out to eat with her mom, buys her gifts all of the time, does her homework with her, cooks her meals, spends quality time with her, the whole nine yards. And again, it isn’t her fault, but I cant help but envy her . She’s gone through her fair share of daddy issues too, and I’m happy that she gets to have a better experience now, but why is he treating HER like that when he has three kids of his own that he never did ANYTHING for??? The poor girl is only 6 but I can’t help the jealousy. Why does she get treated better than his REAL kids, and even sometimes at the EXPENSE of his own kids? It hurts to be deprived of that affection and relationship, but it hurts so much differently when you see that the other person is capable of that type of connection and interaction and is choosing not to participate. And the worst of them all, seeing them actively choose to participate in that healthy relationship, but with someone else. I really wish things were different. Ah hey Dino, nah I appreciate the time you took to write that out :) it seems like you can relate(as you almost always can lol) so I am sorry for you it does really such, you speak the truth quite well..even in the form of a rant and advice okok, but yeah its sucks to have experienced it, but it was fine cuz it got me a little more used to change, which is a constant but on the other hand it did really suck to see that.. I know my bro is capable of love and I know he cares about me, he would put his life on the line for me. I care about him too.... but some things wend down during childhood that makes me jealous. He had a bit of..autism? I was never really clear but basically he required all of my moms attention and could not regulate his emotions, and plus sharing the same bad dad, he took out his anger on me, his younger sister. I guess i don't feel like explaining it all rn lol cuz thats a lot of typing, but Explaining it this way, seeing him comfort and even something as small as putting his hand on her shoulder, just makes me pissed cuz of what you said... its a little messed up for me I kinda wish things were different but I feel like true power comes from me staying with me, if that makes sense... :) MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TinyDinos Posted March 24, 2023 Share Posted March 24, 2023 6 hours ago, Equivalent Ways said: Ah hey Dino, nah I appreciate the time you took to write that out :) it seems like you can relate(as you almost always can lol) so I am sorry for you it does really such, you speak the truth quite well..even in the form of a rant and advice okok, but yeah its sucks to have experienced it, but it was fine cuz it got me a little more used to change, which is a constant but on the other hand it did really suck to see that.. I know my bro is capable of love and I know he cares about me, he would put his life on the line for me. I care about him too.... but some things wend down during childhood that makes me jealous. He had a bit of..autism? I was never really clear but basically he required all of my moms attention and could not regulate his emotions, and plus sharing the same bad dad, he took out his anger on me, his younger sister. I guess i don't feel like explaining it all rn lol cuz thats a lot of typing, but Explaining it this way, seeing him comfort and even something as small as putting his hand on her shoulder, just makes me pissed cuz of what you said... its a little messed up for me I kinda wish things were different but I feel like true power comes from me staying with me, if that makes sense... :) Yeah that totally makes sense I’m Really sorry that you had to go thru this tho 1 MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Equivalent Ways Posted March 24, 2023 Author Share Posted March 24, 2023 11 hours ago, TinyTurtles said: Yeah that totally makes sense I’m Really sorry that you had to go thru this tho I'm sorry too, but also not sorry at this point cuz I guess I learned a lot and feel like trying to wrap my hands around the ropes if I can.... But ya MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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