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Falling out with best friend


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This post has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Hate

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So me and my best friend had more or less a fight today. We were talking on the phone and the topic of "topic week" which will happen at our school in 2 weeks came to mind (topic week is just each day there will be a topic given and you have to dress up to fit it, e.g a day's topic is suits so you wear a suit to school that day) and she asked me if I had any plans for what I would wear then (the week's topics were already given), I answered that I didn't really have any ideas but would look into it. She then suddenly starting complaining that I was always the last one to get the things which first off, what is wrong with that? Who cares? At least I got it in the end but yeah anyway, she then continued that even though I say that I would look into it, that I never do so. I know why she said that, as I have ditched a lot of things that I said I would look into, but that wasn't the case here and I did take offense when she said that I would never get it done lol. I planned shit out a long time ago but am still unsure of my decision. She then said that I should see this as a more important thing which bruh, I did think it was important but whatever. I asked her why I should put more importance into it and her answer was "because it's fun" like, what? I said that that was quite a dumb reason and she responded, this is what got me mad, "Well, I have a lot of reasons as to why, but if I would say them I would come off as rude" you see, she makes fun of my clothing style a lot when I'm in school, always saying that I dressed like a "primary school kid" I laughed it off at first but it's starting to get to me. Sure, I know I don't dress the best at school but that's because I really couldn't care less, I wear stuff that feels comfortable and often times the outfit combos that are the most comfortable are the ones that do not fit with each other color wise and such. Plus, I got bullied because of my clothing back in primary school so this really rubs more salt into the wound. Now, I would confront her about it but the issue is, whenever I confront her about something she said, she gets super defensive and starts going back on all my faults in it and how I am not innocent either. So in the end, I just realize that it's impossible to reason with her and just drop it altogether. I don't really know what to do

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Hey there,

Sorry to hear about your fight; it can be really upsetting when we are fighting with those we are close to. I think that when there has been a disagreement, it's important to think about how important it is to you, and by that, I mean that it can be helpful to think ahead and wonder if you would still be bothered about it in a couple of weeks. If not, it is usually okay to let it go; what do you think?

Also, if something is really bothering you and it carries on, it's really important to express how you feel, but it sounds like it can be tricky to reason with her. We do have some tips on how to have challenging conversations in a helpful way; would you like to have a read of our support guide here and tell me what you think? https://www.ditchthelabel.org/speak-anyone-anything-conflict-resolution/


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