My best friend kept staring and smiling at me, not sure how I feel about it

[Blc]

Hi guys it's been a long time happy new year

 

 

So basically, it was the last lesson and we were just helping tidying the room up, but what I kept noticing was that my best friend kept staring and smiling at me, I wasn't doing anything she just kept looking at and smiling at me, I used to have a massive crush on her, but I'm with someone now and I want to make things work time between me and her so I don't have feelings for my best friend anymore, everytime I looked away she moved forward so she could see me again and still she smiled but she's also with someone so idk does she have a crush on me? If so that's very awkward since I don't feel the same way anymore I'm not sure how to feel about it what do you guys think? 

Edited February 6, 2023 by Blc

[Monsoon]

18 hours ago, Blc said:

Hi guys it's been a long time happy new year

So basically, it was the last lesson and we were just helping tidying the room up, but what I kept noticing was that my best friend kept staring and smiling at me, I wasn't doing anything she just kept looking at and smiling at me, I used to have a massive crush on her, but I'm with someone now and I want to make things work time between me and her so I don't have feelings for my best friend anymore, everytime I looked away she moved forward so she could see me again and still she smiled but she's also with someone so idk does she have a crush on me? If so that's very awkward since I don't feel the same way anymore I'm not sure how to feel about it what do you guys think? 

Hey there,

Thank you for reaching out to us. It's definitely an interesting question to ask; you could say that a sign that someone likes you is when they are looking at you a lot and smiling, but this can also mean many different things and just be friendly in general. I'm wondering, if she did have a crush on you and you found out, would it make a difference? I thought it would be helpful to ask that because you are with someone else now and want to make things work with them. Speak soon. 

[Blc]

Honestly I think I'd be OK with it but it would be just be that as I had waited 8 years and nothing happened that's when I realised that if you love someone sometimes the best thing you can do is let go and that's what I've done it's funny tho when she did it she didn't say anything she just kept looking at me and smiling as I said even when I asked yes? She still said nothing but she didn't just look at me once then looked away she just kept doing it so idk but I don't feel the same way about her anymore so if she did I'd just say OK cause I'm obviously not going to be cruel about it you know what I mean? 

[Blc]

Idk if she is just being friendly, she's got a boyfriend, but it didn't feel like she was just doing it to be friendly because even when I moved away she just moved forward so she could see me so idk, I can't read signs of crushes but idk 

[-Leila-]

Damn

[Blc]

Yep, I've been with the girl I'm with now before and it went to shit because I kept having stupid thoughts and then I thought it would be better to end it even tho I, should have talked to her about it, I, was just scared of what she'd say tbh but I hurt myself and I'm guessing her too by just not thinking clearly. I really do love this girl I'm with and I want to make it work this time, so I'm doing everything I can, even tho it's probably not enough to mend what I did to her but I'm trying to do what I can to make up for it, she probably doesn't feel the same way anymore and I don't blame her it's my fault in the first place and she was right, I really am too ugly, I keep thinking over and over again I need plastic surgery just because I feel like I'm ugly does anyone know how to get this thought out of my head? People keep telling me I'm not but with my shit self esteem every time people say that my brain says yes you are don't listen to them you are and you know you are, why would anyone love you? You're nothing, that's what my thoughts keep telling me 

[Blc]

Sorry for venting but my mind is gone to shit atm

[Blc]

Also, to make matters worse my teachers are on my case about pretty much everything one of them signed me up to this thing I don't want to to do, I told my ta that but she insisted that I go saying, oh come on, it'll be fun!, it probably will be but I don't want to do it but I also don't want to disappoint them even though I don't want to do it so I guess I'm stuck doing something I don't want to do

[Blc]

I also feel like I'm forcing the person I'm with to stay, even though she says she's going through a hard time which she is but I feel like I'm forcing her to stay, looking at the messages I'm getting that vibe, I could be wrong, but it just feels that way I talked to her about it but she said she's going through a hard time so maybe I should just see things through idk tho 

[-Leila-]

Has she said what’s she’s going through?

[Blc]

No but idk if I should ask, in case it upsets her even more if what it is is upsetting her I don't want to make her worse

[Blc]

I'm probably a bad bf for doing that but, idk she already thinks I'm using her, so I don't want to keep saying stuff like that I'm not using her BTW I really do love her, I think I just need to calm down I understand she's going through a lot idk what it is but I do understand that so I'm just trying to take things easy and slowly between us because I'm what mind will do if I don't take it easy. Do you think I should ask her what's going on? I've been meaning to but like I said i don't want to mention it and make her more upset should I ask her? 

[Blc]

That sounds really bad I'm sorry I'm just not thinking clearly at the moment. If she reads this, I just really want her to know that I love her, more than anything if'd previously spent a year with her and I loved every part of it, my only regret was ending it, and not being there when she needed it, she keeps thinking I'm using her, but I would never, she's amazing, idk what I've done to deserve her, but I'm so grateful for her. 

 

 

Before we met I was really depressed, but then I met her and I fell in love with her sense of humour, her kindness and the fact that I can be myself with  her (remember guys, it's not all about looks!) it honestly feels like I've met the one even though part of me still believes love is only true in fairy tales lol but honestly, I'm so grateful for her, and I just want her to know that I love her so much more than I showed, I could never stop smiling when I talked about her to friends, they all said she wasn't who she said she was mainly cause we're long distance, but despite that, I didn't care because I'm honestly genuinely in love with her. Her dad thought I was grooming her but I'm really not, words cannot describe how happy and comfortable I feel with her, she's honestly wonderful, I don't usually say I've found the one, but I think I've found the one

[Jayla]

4 hours ago, Blc said:

Yep, I've been with the girl I'm with now before and it went to shit because I kept having stupid thoughts and then I thought it would be better to end it even tho I, should have talked to her about it, I, was just scared of what she'd say tbh but I hurt myself and I'm guessing her too by just not thinking clearly. I really do love this girl I'm with and I want to make it work this time, so I'm doing everything I can, even tho it's probably not enough to mend what I did to her but I'm trying to do what I can to make up for it, she probably doesn't feel the same way anymore and I don't blame her it's my fault in the first place and she was right, I really am too ugly, I keep thinking over and over again I need plastic surgery just because I feel like I'm ugly does anyone know how to get this thought out of my head? People keep telling me I'm not but with my shit self esteem every time people say that my brain says yes you are don't listen to them you are and you know you are, why would anyone love you? You're nothing, that's what my thoughts keep telling me 

honestly it’s okay to feel the way you do about your best friend when you’ve liked her for 8 yrs and nothing has happened, you shouldn’t feel a kind of way because she might have feelings for you now which isn’t fair anyone especially you. While you might have hurt this girl that your now with you have to show her that you love her and that your all in because maybe she doesn’t feel reassured after you broke up with her in the first place, she might still feel the same way but now it’s hard for her to empathize with you after the break up. your not too ugly, you don’t need plastic surgery i know it’s really hard to get those thoughts out of your mind, i know on a personal level how that is and how that can affect your relationships and friendships, honestly idk how to help you with that. people tell me the same thing when i saw im ugly and fat but they don’t understand what it’s like to live in my head and they don’t understand that i have to fake be confident and i question myself everyday. so i understand more than you know and im always here to here you out. Teachers are always gonna be in your business until you leave school and you kinda gonna accept it. maybe you guys need to sit down and talk to see what’s going on especially if you feel like you’re forcing her to stay, which i can tell by your words that you love her but a relationship isn’t the thing she needs right now but you needs to be to herself which i know that sounds scary we’re all kids and we’ve all felt that way bout someone. you might have been ready to get back in a relationship with her did you ever think she was ready? when a situation happens to a girl we tend to feel used and unloved maybe that’s how she’s feeling right now plus with all the other things she’s going. what if you start having feeling for your best friend again? then what?  (sorry it’s long) 

Edited February 8, 2023 by Everybody_luv_jae
forgot to add something

[Blc]

Nah its OK! And I have been thinking what I'm thinking isn't to end it but wait for her, because I don't want to overwhelm her you know? So I think this time, I think I'll take it slowly not for me but for her sake, I'm not ending it but I think things should go slow and tbh I'm just letting things go at their own pace if that makes sense 

[Monsoon]

17 hours ago, Blc said:

That sounds really bad I'm sorry I'm just not thinking clearly at the moment. If she reads this, I just really want her to know that I love her, more than anything if'd previously spent a year with her and I loved every part of it, my only regret was ending it, and not being there when she needed it, she keeps thinking I'm using her, but I would never, she's amazing, idk what I've done to deserve her, but I'm so grateful for her. 

Before we met I was really depressed, but then I met her and I fell in love with her sense of humour, her kindness and the fact that I can be myself with  her (remember guys, it's not all about looks!) it honestly feels like I've met the one even though part of me still believes love is only true in fairy tales lol but honestly, I'm so grateful for her, and I just want her to know that I love her so much more than I showed, I could never stop smiling when I talked about her to friends, they all said she wasn't who she said she was mainly cause we're long distance, but despite that, I didn't care because I'm honestly genuinely in love with her. Her dad thought I was grooming her but I'm really not, words cannot describe how happy and comfortable I feel with her, she's honestly wonderful, I don't usually say I've found the one, but I think I've found the one

Hey there,

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings around your current relationship. I really get the sense you are thinking a lot about it at the moment and have some unanswered questions and insecurities about what is going on. I'm wondering, if you had a friend in the same position, what advice would you give them to help move forward and make things better? Do you think it could be helpful to share your feelings? 

[Blc]

I'm not sure because atm I'm trying to help my best friend with her relationship cause its really toxic and the advice I've given she hasn't really took it so it kinda makes me feel like my advice isn't good enough but I'm still trying 

[Jayla]

12 minutes ago, Blc said:

Nah its OK! And I have been thinking what I'm thinking isn't to end it but wait for her, because I don't want to overwhelm her you know? So I think this time, I think I'll take it slowly not for me but for her sake, I'm not ending it but I think things should go slow and tbh I'm just letting things go at their own pace if that makes sense 

i think that’s a good idea. i’ve been though a thing just like this but on the end of your gf and you just have to reassure her yk 

[Blc]

Yeah I understand, I told her we can take things slowly and that I'll wait for her as long as it takes is that good? 

[Jayla]

yes, that should be. 

[Monsoon]

23 hours ago, Blc said:

I'm not sure because atm I'm trying to help my best friend with her relationship cause its really toxic and the advice I've given she hasn't really took it so it kinda makes me feel like my advice isn't good enough but I'm still trying 

Hey @blc

I'm just wondering, would it be helpful for you to tell the person you're with about how you're feeling? It's really helpful to share what's going on so that you can then find a way forward. What do you think?

[Blc]

Yeah maybe but she agreed to taking it slowly although I doubt it'll happen again but who knows? I think my biggest regret is ending it in the first place, because I didn't realise until I broke up with her that first time, how much I actually love her, I've regretted it every day but the past is the past and it's something I'm going to work on, idk tho

[Blc]

The reason I ended it in the first place was because of my friends, they kept telling me that she wasn't who she said she was tbf we had called but facetimed so I see where their coming from, but tbh it was more I kept having intrusive thoughts like why would she love you? She doesn't really love you why would anyone, especially her love you? You probably mean nothing to her, even though that wasn't the case, even though we weren't together in person, cause of long distance, you could tell she loved me and I loved her it's just my stupid thoughts mixed with what my friends were saying ruined it, I should have probably told her that but I was too scared. 

 

 

As much as I loved her, the thoughts were going off every single day and I had no one because everyone I told always said she isn't who she said she was and I was too scared to tell her what was going on and I didn't really tell my family much about her, except for the time we agreed to meet up last summer, that didn't happen but we both agreed we should get to know each other more first which is understandable. 

 

Funny thing is, she once called me her Prince, even with that, my mind was always like you're not enough for her and a lot of not nice things about myself that I just couldn't take it anymore, I thought I could get over her, even though I was the one who ended it but it completely and utterly destroyed me, and then everyday, I couldn't sleep because half of the time I was up all night beating myself up, I made a collage of pictures of me and her when we were together last year, I still have it tbh, and I made it to show how much she means to me, now I just look at it and I get really upset, because I completely ruined it the relationship I mean, so far since we got back, I haven't really shown I care but I want her to know that I do like so much, I should probably actually say this to her but I can never get the right words out to say how I feel, so half of the time it comes out wrong, but I understand what she's going through, so that's why I decided to take it slow and just leave her alone for a bit so she can focus on getting herself better 

[Jayla]

1 hour ago, Blc said:

The reason I ended it in the first place was because of my friends, they kept telling me that she wasn't who she said she was tbf we had called but facetimed so I see where their coming from, but tbh it was more I kept having intrusive thoughts like why would she love you? She doesn't really love you why would anyone, especially her love you? You probably mean nothing to her, even though that wasn't the case, even though we weren't together in person, cause of long distance, you could tell she loved me and I loved her it's just my stupid thoughts mixed with what my friends were saying ruined it, I should have probably told her that but I was too scared. 

As much as I loved her, the thoughts were going off every single day and I had no one because everyone I told always said she isn't who she said she was and I was too scared to tell her what was going on and I didn't really tell my family much about her, except for the time we agreed to meet up last summer, that didn't happen but we both agreed we should get to know each other more first which is understandable. 

Funny thing is, she once called me her Prince, even with that, my mind was always like you're not enough for her and a lot of not nice things about myself that I just couldn't take it anymore, I thought I could get over her, even though I was the one who ended it but it completely and utterly destroyed me, and then everyday, I couldn't sleep because half of the time I was up all night beating myself up, I made a collage of pictures of me and her when we were together last year, I still have it tbh, and I made it to show how much she means to me, now I just look at it and I get really upset, because I completely ruined it the relationship I mean, so far since we got back, I haven't really shown I care but I want her to know that I do like so much, I should probably actually say this to her but I can never get the right words out to say how I feel, so half of the time it comes out wrong, but I understand what she's going through, so that's why I decided to take it slow and just leave her alone for a bit so she can focus on getting herself better 

Compa, as much as you love me and she loves you you’re both going though a lot and if your best friend really cared she would understand that you’re in love with someone who isn’t her while that reality hurts it’s true and maybe she hasn’t come to that understanding and no one is saying you have to choose between your best friend and your girlfriend but you have to be careful cuz you could catch feelings for her again while you think that’s not gonna happen there’s always a chance that it will. I know first hand a situation like this a lot of people can get hurt or people can do things you never that they would. It can mess up a lot of things which never ends in a good way, anyone would feel like shit ending a relationship with someone your in love with and it’s good that you came to the understanding of how you felt not a lot of guys can do that! Your right you should be telling her this not us and while i understand that it’s hard to get out what you want to say and that it doesn’t come out how you want maybe writing dow on paper and giving it to her so you can write what you what to say and it doesn’t come off in a wrong way. the fact that your taking it slow is good because not all people in relationships understand that what you need is to take it slow after a breakup or break. While i know it’s hard not to listen to what your friends have to say, what they said took a big part of breaking you guys up. Yes, being in a long distance relationship is hard but if you guys had better communication that would help so much! 

[Monsoon]

On 2/10/2023 at 5:37 PM, Blc said:

The reason I ended it in the first place was because of my friends, they kept telling me that she wasn't who she said she was tbf we had called but facetimed so I see where their coming from, but tbh it was more I kept having intrusive thoughts like why would she love you? She doesn't really love you why would anyone, especially her love you? You probably mean nothing to her, even though that wasn't the case, even though we weren't together in person, cause of long distance, you could tell she loved me and I loved her it's just my stupid thoughts mixed with what my friends were saying ruined it, I should have probably told her that but I was too scared. 

As much as I loved her, the thoughts were going off every single day and I had no one because everyone I told always said she isn't who she said she was and I was too scared to tell her what was going on and I didn't really tell my family much about her, except for the time we agreed to meet up last summer, that didn't happen but we both agreed we should get to know each other more first which is understandable. 

Funny thing is, she once called me her Prince, even with that, my mind was always like you're not enough for her and a lot of not nice things about myself that I just couldn't take it anymore, I thought I could get over her, even though I was the one who ended it but it completely and utterly destroyed me, and then everyday, I couldn't sleep because half of the time I was up all night beating myself up, I made a collage of pictures of me and her when we were together last year, I still have it tbh, and I made it to show how much she means to me, now I just look at it and I get really upset, because I completely ruined it the relationship I mean, so far since we got back, I haven't really shown I care but I want her to know that I do like so much, I should probably actually say this to her but I can never get the right words out to say how I feel, so half of the time it comes out wrong, but I understand what she's going through, so that's why I decided to take it slow and just leave her alone for a bit so she can focus on getting herself better 

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