Religous and homophobic dad.

[rebek]

I have a religious upbringing and I found out that I was bisexual 2 years ago. My Dad is Homophobic and strictly religious. I don't know how to come out, But I know I need to the stress is starting to hurt me.

[Monsoon]

Hey Rebek,

 

Sorry to hear you're going through this. We are here to help, so please now you're not alone.

 

How are you feeling? With homophobic people, those views often come down to upbringing, religion etc. and may not actually represent what those people feel, but it could just be the ?normal? thing for them to do. My dad always used to make negative comments about gay people and this made me terrified to come out. Now that I have done, he is very accepting and I believe those thoughts were just down his upbringing/religion. Do you feel like this could be the case with your father?

 

Here are some articles you may find useful:

 

https://www.ditchthelabel.org/coming-out-homophobic-parents/

 

https://www.ditchthelabel.org/my-parents-didnt-react-well-to-me-coming-out/

* This one is good for describing why people react negatively when others come out

 

I find that talking about my feelings helps when I'm stressed. Also, simple things like exercise, yoga, and healthy eating can help this. Do you have any friends/family you can talk to about this?

 

Also, I found that coming out to friends first made it easier to build up the courage to come out to my parents. I did this via text message which took away the terror I felt towards doing it in person. Maybe this is something you could try?

 

If you do end up coming out, it could be a good idea to have somewhere to stay to let the dust settle after you've told him just incase he reacts badly. This will give you some distance and could help him to process the news and eventually come round to it.

 

I hope you find this advice helpful. Let me know if not and we can figure something else out.

 

Hang in there.

 

Monsoon.