bullied for telling admin about “jokes”

[georgiethefrog]

hi! so this is my first time posting here, let me know if i’m doing anything wrong posting wise! anyway, my current dilemma is that i’ve reported to my schools administration about jokes kids in my class are making— they’re racist, homophobic, antisemitic, etc. usually i’m not the type to tell on smth or get upset over dark jokes? but they’re literally doing the nazi salute, saying they want gay/trans ppl to die (i’m lesbian and gender-fluid ) and saying jokes like “i would rape her too” while watching a documentary about a girl who was raped and murdered. this has been going on for over a year and i’ve just recently decided to say smth, and now i’m getting rumors spread about me, saying i’m over exaggerating and things like that? it’s little comments too like one of them making a racist joke and going out of their way to say “i’m kidding, don’t tell on me! ” — all this to say, i’m not quite sure how to handle this because i’m very sensitive to criticism. i have ADHD, rejection sensitivity is a very big deal to me and as a people pleaser this is really hard lmao. advice would be helpful confidence wise! i don’t feel like i can contact administration again bc that would make the bullying worse (being the ‘class snitch’ now, and all). so yeah, any advice is helpful, thanks so much! 

[Monsoon]

Hey there,

Thank you for reaching out to us. I'm one of the digital mentors here and I give advice to those who reach out to us. 

I'm sorry to hear about the comments that kids in your class are making. What they are saying is really serious and action needs to be taken. Not only that, they are also very hurtful. You absolutely did the right thing by telling admin about what's going on. This was a brave thing to do, and it's really good to challenge this kind of behaviour because it will help people to think about what they are saying and doing, and then hopefully be more mindful going forward. I think there is a lot of confidence to be gained from fighting for a good cause like that, and this is a reflection of how passionate and courageous you are.

Also, with the criticism, it can be really helpful to think about the reasons as to why they are criticising you. For example, they are criticising you for doing a good thing and you didn't actually doing anything wrong. It can be powerful to recognise that the criticism doesn't come down to a flaw with yourself, but rather, it probably comes from a place of the other person feeling embarrassed about what they said or did. Criticism hurts because we feel personally attacked, so try to ground yourself in reminding yourself that you did a good thing and this will help others. What do you think?