Im thinking about coming out to my parents about me being trans and gay, but I don’t have a clue what to do. Any suggestions or tips?

[Avyavastha]

I’ve already been questioning my gender and sexuality for about a year now, but I might want to come out to my parents sometime soon. I really don’t know what I should do because my parents are Hindus, and so is my entire family, but I’m an atheist, and haven’t told them. I’m scared of coming out because I’m not sure if my dad is homophobic, and don’t want my mom to think that it’s “just a phase”. What should I do?

[_Kai_]

42 minutes ago, Ciaran said:

I’ve already been questioning my gender and sexuality for about a year now, but I might want to come out to my parents sometime soon. I really don’t know what I should do because my parents are Hindus, and so is my entire family, but I’m an atheist, and haven’t told them. I’m scared of coming out because I’m not sure if my dad is homophobic, and don’t want my mom to think that it’s “just a phase”. What should I do?

Hmmmmm, you could maybe try asking them first just what their thoughts are about the whole LGBTQIA+ community, I feel its easier(or harder depending on the parent) coming out knowing how they look at it

If I may ask a question, have they ever seemed negative towards the community? 

[Avyavastha]

Thanks for the tip!

My dad has seemed a bit…un-supportive of the lgbtqia+ community before, and my mom…well, she is okay with it, but I don’t think she would want me to be a part of that community because she strongly believes in her religion, Hinduism, which doesn’t support the lgbtqia+ community. I’m not quite sure how I should ask them how they feel about it though. I’ll definitely try though!

[_Kai_]

44 minutes ago, Ciaran said:

Thanks for the tip!

My dad has seemed a bit…un-supportive of the lgbtqia+ community before, and my mom…well, she is okay with it, but I don’t think she would want me to be a part of that community because she strongly believes in her religion, Hinduism, which doesn’t support the lgbtqia+ community. I’m not quite sure how I should ask them how they feel about it though. I’ll definitely try though!

Yeah definitely still try if ur comfortable, I've found that some parents in religions that don't typically support the community have been fairly open-minded (I'm not an expert with Hinduism so idk if this counts for that as well TvT) 

If ur mom is okay with the community then I feel that she may be rather accepting of u being in it as well. Though if you feel it wouldn't be safe to come out if they said they didn't accept/support u, then you might wanna put safety on high reassurance (Sorry I only got 2 hours of sleep today & that last bit just jumbled up my brain)

[Avyavastha]

Thanks again for your input!  

I know I can’t change what happens, but I’m going to try and ask! I’m not really that educated on Hinduism either, even though my parents follow it…

[Monsoon]

2 hours ago, Ciaran said:

I’ve already been questioning my gender and sexuality for about a year now, but I might want to come out to my parents sometime soon. I really don’t know what I should do because my parents are Hindus, and so is my entire family, but I’m an atheist, and haven’t told them. I’m scared of coming out because I’m not sure if my dad is homophobic, and don’t want my mom to think that it’s “just a phase”. What should I do?

Hey Ciaran,

Thank you for reaching out to us. It's completely normal to be fearful of coming out; sharing this part of your identity is a really big step and means a lot, and that comes down to wanting to be accepted for who you are. When you are faced with the possibility of homophobic parents, there can be more fear involved, so it's completely understandable that you're scared. In these kinds of situations, it's important to consider if you're ready to come out, and if it's safe to do so. What do you think about that?

[Avyavastha]

Thanks for that. It really helps to know that I have some support,

Edited January 5, 2023 by Ciaran