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How do I know if someone has a crush on me?


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I'm very introverted but when I do talk I tend to be loud and make a lot of jokes. Recently I've noticed this one guy always looking at me and trying to talk to me. Now I had a crush on him at the beginning of the school year so IDK if this is just my imagination or if he actually likes me. But I also just want to know the signs of someone having a crush on someone else bc I want to help a friend that is going through a situation.ย ๐Ÿ˜„

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7 hours ago, Overthinker22 said:

I'm very introverted but when I do talk I tend to be loud and make a lot of jokes. Recently I've noticed this one guy always looking at me and trying to talk to me. Now I had a crush on him at the beginning of the school year so IDK if this is just my imagination or if he actually likes me. But I also just want to know the signs of someone having a crush on someone else bc I want to help a friend that is going through a situation.ย ๐Ÿ˜„

Hey there,

Two of the biggest signs that someone has a crush on you is when they look at you a lot and try to make contact with you. Other sings might be being flirty, such as making suggestive comments, making an effort to be around you, and keeping conversations going. What do you think about that? How do you act towards people you have a crush on?

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7 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

Two of the biggest signs that someone has a crush on you is when they look at you a lot and try to make contact with you. Other sings might be being flirty, such as making suggestive comments, making an effort to be around you, and keeping conversations going. What do you think about that? How do you act towards people you have a crush on?

Hi!

That sounds good! Usually when I have a crush on someone I ether am talkative and joke around with them or I don't talk to them and kinda stare at them. I'm really awkward when it comes to crushes and tend to overthink everything...ย 

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Hey,

Yeah, they are really strong signs as well. What do you think you might do next? Would you like to get to know them a little more?ย 

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18 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey,

Yeah, they are really strong signs as well. What do you think you might do next? Would you like to get to know them a little more?ย 

IDK what I would do next. I wanna get to know him more but I don't really know how. As I've said before I'm EXTRAMLY introverted and am not quite sure how to talk to people.

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12 hours ago, Overthinker22 said:

IDK what I would do next. I wanna get to know him more but I don't really know how. As I've said before I'm EXTRAMLY introverted and am not quite sure how to talk to people.

Hey there,

I'm wondering, can you tell me about a time when you've been able to talk to someone and it went well? What was it like: what questions did you ask, which topics did you talk about, how did you keep the conversation going, etc?

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10 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

I'm wondering, can you tell me about a time when you've been able to talk to someone and it went well? What was it like: what questions did you ask, which topics did you talk about, how did you keep the conversation going, etc?

Well... the last (and only) time I was in a relationship was with one of my old friends. A mutual friend introduced me to her and I asked her out 5 months later, with a video. After 4 months I ended it bc she was toxic. I don't talk much and really don't know how to talk to someone I have a crush on unless someone else is there. I'm usually better over text but I'm not a social butterfly and like to go unnoticed while in school. Most people know me as the one to be terrified of.. I can't keep a conversation going to save my life. When I talk to someone I talk about books and Marvel. I don't ask any questions unless there is an awkward silence.

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Hey there,

It seems like youโ€™re being quite hard on yourself, and Iโ€™m wondering why? I noticed you described yourself quite negatively and I think this might be holding you back when it comes to socialising. What do you think?ย 

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9 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

It seems like youโ€™re being quite hard on yourself, and Iโ€™m wondering why? I noticed you described yourself quite negatively and I think this might be holding you back when it comes to socialising. What do you think?ย 

I think that is pretty accurate. I'm hard on myself bc that is the way I was raised. Both my parents are always hard on themselves and I learned from a very young age that if I'm hard on myself, then I can do a better job on my work. It's just who I am as a person and I wish that I could change it but I can't. But bc of this trait I build up walls and its hard for me to let people in. I've never had a lot of friends but the ones I do have I trust completely and so when someone betrays me the walls just get stronger. I've been betrayed by some of my closest friends and it hurt me for a long time. So its hard for me to let people in and I'm very skeptical when it comes to meeting new people.ย 

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Hey there,

I do get what you are saying about how being aware of what you aren't doing so well can then allow you to focus more on improving that, however, at the same time, this also means the negative voice in your head becomes louder and harder to block out over time, while the positive voice becomes quieter and quieter. There is actually so much power in speaking to ourselves positively, and by focusing on what we do well and celebrating our strengths, we can then feel more confident going forward. My motto is that you should speak to yourself how you would speak to a friend who needs a pep talk; what do you think about that? Do you think it would be helpful for you to maybe place a focus on this?

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10 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

I do get what you are saying about how being aware of what you aren't doing so well can then allow you to focus more on improving that, however, at the same time, this also means the negative voice in your head becomes louder and harder to block out over time, while the positive voice becomes quieter and quieter. There is actually so much power in speaking to ourselves positively, and by focusing on what we do well and celebrating our strengths, we can then feel more confident going forward. My motto is that you should speak to yourself how you would speak to a friend who needs a pep talk; what do you think about that? Do you think it would be helpful for you to maybe place a focus on this?

I see where you are coming from but that has never really worked for me. I've tried that method before but I'm surrounded by negativity all the time, so it is hard for me to think positively.ย 

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17 hours ago, Overthinker22 said:

I see where you are coming from but that has never really worked for me. I've tried that method before but I'm surrounded by negativity all the time, so it is hard for me to think positively.ย 

Hey there,

That's interesting that it has never worked. Would you mind sharing what you tried and for how long? Also, I'm sorry to hear about how you're surrounded by negativity all of the time. What is that like for you?ย 

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On 1/5/2023 at 2:47 PM, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

That's interesting that it has never worked. Would you mind sharing what you tried and for how long? Also, I'm sorry to hear about how you're surrounded by negativity all of the time. What is that like for you?ย 

I tried it for a good 2 months and I didn't see much of a difference. For me it is normal. I've been surrounded by negativity my entire life. My parents fight all the time so I've never really seen what a healthy relationship looks like.ย 

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Hey there,

I'm sorry to hear about your parents fighting all of the time. I can imagine that this really gets you down; every young person wants their parents to get on, and it can be really hard to see them be at odds with eachother. I'm just wondering, would you like any support for how to try and change the way you think and be more kind to yourself? It's okay if not, and I just wanted to check because you originally came to us with a question around how to tell if someone is crushing on you, and it feels like we've gone down a different path, so if you'd like to get back to the crush situation if you'd like more advice there, then just let us know.ย 

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On 1/7/2023 at 6:02 AM, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

I'm sorry to hear about your parents fighting all of the time. I can imagine that this really gets you down; every young person wants their parents to get on, and it can be really hard to see them be at odds with eachother. I'm just wondering, would you like any support for how to try and change the way you think and be more kind to yourself? It's okay if not, and I just wanted to check because you originally came to us with a question around how to tell if someone is crushing on you, and it feels like we've gone down a different path, so if you'd like to get back to the crush situation if you'd like more advice there, then just let us know.ย 

sorry I haven't respond in a while! things go really busy! It would be great if we could go back to the crush thing because I am back in school and he now sits directly in front of me.

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Hey there,

Sure thing, letโ€™s go back to the crush. Iโ€™m wondering then, how are things at the moment? What are you hoping to do next, maybe get to know him? I remember you saying that earlier in the conversation. Speak soon.ย 

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9 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

Sure thing, letโ€™s go back to the crush. Iโ€™m wondering then, how are things at the moment? What are you hoping to do next, maybe get to know him? I remember you saying that earlier in the conversation. Speak soon.ย 

Right now things are ok. I've talked to him all of 2 times. I really want to get too know him but I get to nervous to actually talk to him.ย 

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Hey there,

It's great you've spoken to him twice already. What helped you to take the chance despite your nerves on those two occasions? This shows you can do it, so it will be helpful to explore what it was helped you do it already.ย 

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On 1/13/2023 at 10:46 AM, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

It's great you've spoken to him twice already. What helped you to take the chance despite your nerves on those two occasions? This shows you can do it, so it will be helpful to explore what it was helped you do it already.ย 

So I talked to him again! And i got some food out of it to!ย ๐Ÿ˜‚ย usually my nerves take over unless they talk to me first. Its usually easy for me to talk to people if they talk to me first.ย  ย 

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Hey,

That's great that you talked to him again! How was it? I'm wondering, did he talk to you first this time?

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27 minutes ago, Monsoon said:

Hey,

That's great that you talked to him again! How was it? I'm wondering, did he talk to you first this time?

It was nice! Technically he started talking to me but after he caught me starring at him.ย ย ๐Ÿ˜ฌ I talked to him again to ask about the HW we had so that was nice.ย 

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15 hours ago, Overthinker22 said:

It was nice! Technically he started talking to me but after he caught me starring at him.ย ย ๐Ÿ˜ฌ I talked to him again to ask about the HW we had so that was nice.ย 

Hey,

I'm glad it was nice! I'm wondering, could you maybe set yourself a challenge to start a conversation with him? What's the worst that could happen?

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