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friend drama, would like some advice (also posting this here bc it goes in multiple categories)


emnma
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This post has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Mental Illness

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So there was this girl i had a fling with over halloween and it got really awkward between us after i told her i wasnt ready for a relationship after saying yes to us dating (I wasnt sober). I then had another fling with one of our friends a week or so  later, but it had nothing to do with her. She apparently got mad at me for the second fling and for not talking to her. I was also really suicidal at this time and basically shut down around everybody. She texted me on a day that i was at my lowest and asked me if she did anything wrong. This pretty much wrecked me and i had to skip the class i had with her as to not have a mental breakdown. She then spammed me with calls and empty messages and i ended up blocking her. We stopped talking completely and she started to talk bad about me to our friends and families (our moms are friends so that was fun) and called me things that I'd get banned for saying. About a week ago she sent me an email basically saying that she was upset and wanted to know why i was mad at her. I decided not to respond because it was too late and i like to do this stuff in person anyways. I've been talking to one of our friends about this and she said that she (the girl who sent the email not the friend) wants to be friends again, but doesnt want to start the conversation. I dont really want to have to start the conversation and have all thats happened between us still be affecting us. I also feel like ive spent too much time moving past this to go back now, but i feel like talking to her would be the bigger person thing to do just bc it might get me and my parents back on better terms and itll be less stressful for our friends. idk though, some help would be nice

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This post has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Mental Illness

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8 hours ago, emnma said:

So there was this girl i had a fling with over halloween and it got really awkward between us after i told her i wasnt ready for a relationship after saying yes to us dating (I wasnt sober). I then had another fling with one of our friends a week or so  later, but it had nothing to do with her. She apparently got mad at me for the second fling and for not talking to her. I was also really suicidal at this time and basically shut down around everybody. She texted me on a day that i was at my lowest and asked me if she did anything wrong. This pretty much wrecked me and i had to skip the class i had with her as to not have a mental breakdown. She then spammed me with calls and empty messages and i ended up blocking her. We stopped talking completely and she started to talk bad about me to our friends and families (our moms are friends so that was fun) and called me things that I'd get banned for saying. About a week ago she sent me an email basically saying that she was upset and wanted to know why i was mad at her. I decided not to respond because it was too late and i like to do this stuff in person anyways. I've been talking to one of our friends about this and she said that she (the girl who sent the email not the friend) wants to be friends again, but doesnt want to start the conversation. I dont really want to have to start the conversation and have all thats happened between us still be affecting us. I also feel like ive spent too much time moving past this to go back now, but i feel like talking to her would be the bigger person thing to do just bc it might get me and my parents back on better terms and itll be less stressful for our friends. idk though, some help would be nice

Hey there,

I'm sorry to hear things have been difficult with your friend. It sounds like it's been extra difficult in terms of timing with how your mental health is, and also the fact that your moms are friends. I just want to check first, how are you feeling emotionally? I noticed what you said about feeling suicidal, so I just wanted to ask to check in. We care about you and want to make sure you're okay. Once we know more about that, we will be able to help you more with your friend. Take care and speak soon. 

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1 hour ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

I'm sorry to hear things have been difficult with your friend. It sounds like it's been extra difficult in terms of timing with how your mental health is, and also the fact that your moms are friends. I just want to check first, how are you feeling emotionally? I noticed what you said about feeling suicidal, so I just wanted to ask to check in. We care about you and want to make sure you're okay. Once we know more about that, we will be able to help you more with your friend. Take care and speak soon. 

im doing a bit better right now, the holidays are always hard for me but its getting better day by day

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Hey there,

I’m glad to hear you’re doing better. What is it that’s helping you to get through it at the moment? I always like to ask these questions because we are all experts in our own lives and know plenty of things that will help us through a challenging time. 

Also, I’m wondering, how much do you value the friendship with her? What do you like about it? 
 

 

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6 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

I’m glad to hear you’re doing better. What is it that’s helping you to get through it at the moment? I always like to ask these questions because we are all experts in our own lives and know plenty of things that will help us through a challenging time. 

Also, I’m wondering, how much do you value the friendship with her? What do you like about it? 
 

mostly my younger sister and throwing myself into my hobbies is helping me distract myself from most of the outside world, which is nice.

Right now i dont really value my friendship with her just because of everything thats happened, but i liked that she was trustworthy and genuine to herself

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On 12/28/2022 at 5:06 AM, emnma said:

So there was this girl i had a fling with over halloween and it got really awkward between us after i told her i wasnt ready for a relationship after saying yes to us dating (I wasnt sober). I then had another fling with one of our friends a week or so  later, but it had nothing to do with her. She apparently got mad at me for the second fling and for not talking to her. I was also really suicidal at this time and basically shut down around everybody. She texted me on a day that i was at my lowest and asked me if she did anything wrong. This pretty much wrecked me and i had to skip the class i had with her as to not have a mental breakdown. She then spammed me with calls and empty messages and i ended up blocking her. We stopped talking completely and she started to talk bad about me to our friends and families (our moms are friends so that was fun) and called me things that I'd get banned for saying. About a week ago she sent me an email basically saying that she was upset and wanted to know why i was mad at her. I decided not to respond because it was too late and i like to do this stuff in person anyways. I've been talking to one of our friends about this and she said that she (the girl who sent the email not the friend) wants to be friends again, but doesnt want to start the conversation. I dont really want to have to start the conversation and have all thats happened between us still be affecting us. I also feel like ive spent too much time moving past this to go back now, but i feel like talking to her would be the bigger person thing to do just bc it might get me and my parents back on better terms and itll be less stressful for our friends. idk though, some help would be nice

Hey there,

With your friendship then, I'm wondering, what is your gut feeling telling you to do about it? What advice would you give to a friend in a similar situation? 

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7 hours ago, emnma said:

I dont really know how im feeling about it tbh. I would probably tell a friend to go with it but to be careful

Hey there,

With the advice that you would give to a friend, could that also work for you, maybe? What do you think? 

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3 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Yeah, maybe see how it goes, and then if you feel like it, you can give us an update? No pressure though, whatever works for you! 

yeah ok, ill try

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