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I don't know if i'm a transgender or just confused help


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So I'm a 18 year old guy, tbh I don't remember much beyond the past year but throughout the last couple months I've started having fantasies of being a female and each time I feel butterflies in my stomach and giddy about it. Not only that but I've started wearing sports bras underneath my normal clothes and thought of a name and I've told one person and when they call me by that name it makes me happy. I don't mind being a guy but it's just eh kinda like a 9-5 job just going through motions doing what I'm supposed to be doing. But as these fantasies kept coming I've thought I think I'd definitely be happy living the rest of my life as a female. I really don't know what's going on not gonna lie kinda scared of it all, if any of y'all can help or even just shed some light that would be great 🙈🙊

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Hey there JustARandomPerson!

 

Thanks for joining us on Community! I'm glad you found us!

 

I can definitely understand how you'd want to live your fullest life!

 

What about 'being a girl' excites you? The name, the clothes.. What other things would you want to change about your outward appearance to match up what you feel, internally? What wouldn't you be able to do as a 'boy', do you think?

 

Thanks for sharing!

 

 

-willow

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Heya JustARandomPerson,

 

I can imagine it's hard to put into words, but I think that's a great start!

 

These things that you mention-- wanting to wear clothing that brings you joy, wearing perfume, having more feminine maneurisms, and voice-- that's all about how you would like to express yourself. I don't think you're confused.. I think you know exactly what would bring you joy!

 

Are there some things you can do, now, to help you feel more in your body? Even as a 'boy' you don't have to worry about falling into 'masculine' stereotypes-- we support you looking like you want, and doing things you want that make you happy.

 

Check out this article on 'masculinity':

 

https://www.ditchthelabel.org/is-it-ok-to-feel-like-a-girl/

 

What are you worried about, if you do behave more feminine, and ask others to call you by your desired name?

 

 

-willow

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Hey JustARandomPerson,

 

I can feel that it's worrying you! But know, you know yourself-- and I can see this shift is something you want/need.

 

What's the worst thing you can imagine that they would do?

 

Would you rather continue to sacrifice your happiness, just in case they react poorly?

 

-willow

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Hey JustARandomPerson,

 

I can feel that it's worrying you! But know, you know yourself-- and I can see this shift is something you want/need.

 

What's the worst thing you can imagine that they would do?

 

Would you rather continue to sacrifice your happiness, just in case they react poorly?

 

-willow

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Heya JustARandomPerson,

 

I do think that's a great thing you're doing! (and I don't feel like it's tmi)

 

Would your friend who supports you be willing to go shopping with you to get other undergarments to wear? What if you bought some perfume and gave your undergarments a spritz, just so you can smell it?

 

When you do want to come out to family/friends, here's an article that may help:

 

https://www.ditchthelabel.org/8-tips-for-coming-out-as-trans/

 

And I just wanted to throw this article out here to demonstrate how gender is a spectrum... and there's a lot in between the 'male' and 'female' stereotypes:

 

https://www.ditchthelabel.org/gender-as-a-spectrum/

 

I'm happy you're on the journey you're on! It's you moving toward being the best version of yourself!

 

 

-willow

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Hey JustARandomPerson,

 

Yeah, it may take time... but I wanted you to have the resources for when you do!

 

It's great you have your friend, so far. I wonder if there's another person who you'd feel safe telling? Just so you start growing your support circle of people who understand what's going on, internally?

 

 

-willow

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