my bff is being terrible to me.

[chrissy_x0]

background: i'm chrissy, age 13, gender female.

so my bff, lets call her rachel, is being so rude to me. so recently, my cousins, ( both male ) came over.  she came over when she wanted to hangout w me. it seemed fine as they were all getting along, till rachel said "chrissy be quiet you're literally homeschooled." i was really taken aback when she said that, bc she never ever made fun of me for being homeschooled. i was really confused ( and mad ) by what she said. so i told her, "there's nothing wrong w/ being homeschooled" and she rolled her eyes and said "mmhmm." she started being rude to me like she was trying to impress my cousins. like that's not even funny. the next day, i forgot abt everything but decided not to text her. it was a sunday afternoon and i went to this church service w/ my other bff, troy. he told me that yesterday when i went inside, she started talking behind my back, calling me a dumb homeschooler and how i was annoying. i confronted her on text message and she acted like she was innocent and confused. she said she didn't really care what i thought and that actually kinda hurt. anyways, what should i do?

[Bubbletea]

7 minutes ago, chrissy_x0 said:

background: i'm chrissy, age 13, gender female.

so my bff, lets call her rachel, is being so rude to me. so recently, my cousins, ( both male ) came over.  she came over when she wanted to hangout w me. it seemed fine as they were all getting along, till rachel said "chrissy be quiet you're literally homeschooled." i was really taken aback when she said that, bc she never ever made fun of me for being homeschooled. i was really confused ( and mad ) by what she said. so i told her, "there's nothing wrong w/ being homeschooled" and she rolled her eyes and said "mmhmm." she started being rude to me like she was trying to impress my cousins. like that's not even funny. the next day, i forgot abt everything but decided not to text her. it was a sunday afternoon and i went to this church service w/ my other bff, troy. he told me that yesterday when i went inside, she started talking behind my back, calling me a dumb homeschooler and how i was annoying. i confronted her on text message and she acted like she was innocent and confused. she said she didn't really care what i thought and that actually kinda hurt. anyways, what should i do?

That sure is strange. Was this the first time she made fun of you? Or has it happened before with something else? Maybe talking it out in private with her would be a good idea about how this really hurts your feelings and if she doesn't listen, taking a break from the friendship might be a good idea. 

[chrissy_x0]

Just now, Bubbletea said:

That sure is strange. Was this the first time she made fun of you? Or has it happened before with something else? Maybe talking it out in private with her would be a good idea about how this really hurts your feelings and if she doesn't listen, taking a break from the friendship might be a good idea. 

actually no. we make fun of eachother as a joke, but now she's kinda being racist. i'm darkskinned, and she's light skinned. she makes weird jokes about that being my skin color and wtv, and it's rude. we've actually talked abt this before, but she just changes the subject and blames everything on me. then she cries, and tells her mom. her mom doesn't really care and tells her to apologize to me, but it still kinda bothers me. i wouldn't feel good about talking to her in private if i'm being honest.

[Bubbletea]

1 hour ago, chrissy_x0 said:

actually no. we make fun of eachother as a joke, but now she's kinda being racist. i'm darkskinned, and she's light skinned. she makes weird jokes about that being my skin color and wtv, and it's rude. we've actually talked abt this before, but she just changes the subject and blames everything on me. then she cries, and tells her mom. her mom doesn't really care and tells her to apologize to me, but it still kinda bothers me. i wouldn't feel good about talking to her in private if i'm being honest.

Damn, that sucks. I understand why you wouldn't prefer to talk with her in private, it doesn't seem like she would really take it to heart. Do you have people that you could spend time with instead of her? I don't think that spending time with her at the moment is a good idea if she isn't able to respect you. You should focus more on the people that bring you happiness instead of sadness. 

 

Sorry if this isn't really helpful, I'm not really good with advice but I wish you all the best and hope that you'll be able to resolve this peacefully!

Edited December 5, 2022 by Bubbletea

[chrissy_x0]

19 hours ago, Bubbletea said:

Damn, that sucks. I understand why you wouldn't prefer to talk with her in private, it doesn't seem like she would really take it to heart. Do you have people that you could spend time with instead of her? I don't think that spending time with her at the moment is a good idea if she isn't able to respect you. You should focus more on the people that bring you happiness instead of sadness. 

 

Sorry if this isn't really helpful, I'm not really good with advice but I wish you all the best and hope that you'll be able to resolve this peacefully!

i do have 3 people that i love the most, so yes. i'll try to 'avoid' her and just spend time with those people. i didn't really think of that, so ty! also, i love your pfp and your username!

[Bubbletea]

3 hours ago, chrissy_x0 said:

i do have 3 people that i love the most, so yes. i'll try to 'avoid' her and just spend time with those people. i didn't really think of that, so ty! also, i love your pfp and your username!

Aww thank you! Glad I was able to help :)

[Kylie6578686]

My best friend makes fun of me and screams at me infront of other people. She says that best friends are supposed to be mean to each other. I don’t want to make her feel bad so I laugh it off but it hurts and I’ve told her before ans she just won’t stop. Sometimes I have a opinion about something and she tells me my opinion isn’t valid and in every way I’m wrong and she’s never wrong. She sometimes genuinely cares about my feelings but then the next minute she’ll scream at me about something stupid. I can’t handle people screaming at me because of childhood trauma. I don’t know how to let her know I’m serious.

[Monsoon]

53 minutes ago, Kylie6578686 said:

My best friend makes fun of me and screams at me infront of other people. She says that best friends are supposed to be mean to each other. I don’t want to make her feel bad so I laugh it off but it hurts and I’ve told her before ans she just won’t stop. Sometimes I have a opinion about something and she tells me my opinion isn’t valid and in every way I’m wrong and she’s never wrong. She sometimes genuinely cares about my feelings but then the next minute she’ll scream at me about something stupid. I can’t handle people screaming at me because of childhood trauma. I don’t know how to let her know I’m serious.

Hey @Kylie6578686

Thank you for reaching out to us. I'm one of the digital mentors here and I give advice to those who reach out to us. It sounds like the friendship isn't working for you at the moment and it's really helpful to recognise that when you find yourself in a friendship like this. How has all of this been making you feel? The good news is that there are plenty of things you can do to help her know you're serious, and I'm wondering, when you told her beforehand, are you able to share with me what you said and how she responded?