My mum is forcing me to do something i, as an autistic and adhd person, know for a fact i am not ready to do yet

[Horseygirl]

Hi guys, 

 

So i recently started work experience at this stable. I thought it was going to be great. It sucks. To kingdom come. Not only is there NO ONE my age, but there is one lady who is EXTREMELY rude. Tuesday was my first work experience afternoon and she KICKED a horse in the ankle area just because it almost ACCIDENTALLY stood on her foot, then she laughed at me when I made a mistake and I KNOW she laughed at me because there was only me, her, my mum and another lady in the stable. 

 

Fast forward to today, Thursday. My mum LEAVES me at the stable, when I am NOT ready for it, it being my second time in a VERY new and VERY scary and VERY overwhelming place. The owner of this stable forgot to tell his staff that I am adhd and autistic, so I had to tell them when I said that I had sensory issues with noise. THEN my mum didnt even get to the stable on time because she had to drop my sister off to work which is a 5 minute drive and it's a 20 minute drive from home to the stable. 

NOW my mother is FORCING me to go to the stables for 3 hours on Saturday when I am nowhere NEAR ready just because its PAID WORK. Like she has NO IDEA about my autism. Had a very very bad argument in the car which resulted in her saying that if I didn't shut up that she would pull over and 'slap the shit out of you' - her words exactly. 

I cried non-stop in the shower because I am so upset and angry. This stable was a HUGE mistake. I wish I had NEVER EVER EVER EVER applied to do work experience there. I miss the old stable I did work experience at. Yes the manager was a bit mean under stress, but at least the people there were NICE and they ACTUALLY taught me stuff AND DIDN'T LAUGH AT ME. I hate my life right now guys. All I want to do is cry. I'm so angry and upset. I'm not READY to work, its a BIG change from school, and I'm ESPECIALLY not ready to work on Saturdays when I haven't even adjusted to Tuesdays and Thursdays doing work experience. 

 

Someone PLEASE HELP. I can't take this. All I want to do is cry and cry and cry. I wish I had a friend at the stable. Even right now as I'm typing this I can't stop crying. I want out of this. If this is how hard working with horses is, I don't want to do it. I love horses, I do, but when you've got strangers and no friends and your mum leaves you at this stable and you have no family there and you're autistic and adhd, its a nightmare. I can't, I WON'T do this. Please help me. I'm not ready for this yet. I just want to cry and I really need a hug right now.

[-Aussie-]

6 hours ago, Horseygirl said:

Hi guys, 

So i recently started work experience at this stable. I thought it was going to be great. It sucks. To kingdom come. Not only is there NO ONE my age, but there is one lady who is EXTREMELY rude. Tuesday was my first work experience afternoon and she KICKED a horse in the ankle area just because it almost ACCIDENTALLY stood on her foot, then she laughed at me when I made a mistake and I KNOW she laughed at me because there was only me, her, my mum and another lady in the stable. 

Fast forward to today, Thursday. My mum LEAVES me at the stable, when I am NOT ready for it, it being my second time in a VERY new and VERY scary and VERY overwhelming place. The owner of this stable forgot to tell his staff that I am adhd and autistic, so I had to tell them when I said that I had sensory issues with noise. THEN my mum didnt even get to the stable on time because she had to drop my sister off to work which is a 5 minute drive and it's a 20 minute drive from home to the stable. 

NOW my mother is FORCING me to go to the stables for 3 hours on Saturday when I am nowhere NEAR ready just because its PAID WORK. Like she has NO IDEA about my autism. Had a very very bad argument in the car which resulted in her saying that if I didn't shut up that she would pull over and 'slap the shit out of you' - her words exactly. 

I cried non-stop in the shower because I am so upset and angry. This stable was a HUGE mistake. I wish I had NEVER EVER EVER EVER applied to do work experience there. I miss the old stable I did work experience at. Yes the manager was a bit mean under stress, but at least the people there were NICE and they ACTUALLY taught me stuff AND DIDN'T LAUGH AT ME. I hate my life right now guys. All I want to do is cry. I'm so angry and upset. I'm not READY to work, its a BIG change from school, and I'm ESPECIALLY not ready to work on Saturdays when I haven't even adjusted to Tuesdays and Thursdays doing work experience. 

Someone PLEASE HELP. I can't take this. All I want to do is cry and cry and cry. I wish I had a friend at the stable. Even right now as I'm typing this I can't stop crying. I want out of this. If this is how hard working with horses is, I don't want to do it. I love horses, I do, but when you've got strangers and no friends and your mum leaves you at this stable and you have no family there and you're autistic and adhd, its a nightmare. I can't, I WON'T do this. Please help me. I'm not ready for this yet. I just want to cry and I really need a hug right now.

Hey, I am so sorry this is happening to you it sounds really hard. I can't imagine doing that But,  just becasue its really hard now i don't think that means you shoud give up on helping horses.

 Maybe if you give it more time then things will get better for you But, if not just tell someone how you feel and tell them you don't want to work there and that you feel like your not ready for it. Its ok if all you can do is cry there are times in life where that is all people feel like doing. I hope everthing gets better for you. Many hugs from me. 

[Horseygirl]

4 hours ago, _mysticalMajesty_ said:

Hey, I am so sorry this is happening to you it sounds really hard. I can't imagine doing that But,  just becasue its really hard now i don't think that means you shoud give up on helping horses.

 Maybe if you give it more time then things will get better for you But, if not just tell someone how you feel and tell them you don't want to work there and that you feel like your not ready for it. Its ok if all you can do is cry there are times in life where that is all people feel like doing. I hope everthing gets better for you. Many hugs from me. 

Hey there, 

Yea I'm definitely not giving up on it yet despite wishing I'd never contacted this place. I just wish my mum would let me adjust. She claims she's dealt with my autism for 18 years and knows how to handle it but each time she gives me proof that she has absolutely no idea what she's doing. 

I do really hope that it does get better because I absolutely adore horses. They're always worth it.

[Monsoon]

15 hours ago, Horseygirl said:

Hi guys, 

So i recently started work experience at this stable. I thought it was going to be great. It sucks. To kingdom come. Not only is there NO ONE my age, but there is one lady who is EXTREMELY rude. Tuesday was my first work experience afternoon and she KICKED a horse in the ankle area just because it almost ACCIDENTALLY stood on her foot, then she laughed at me when I made a mistake and I KNOW she laughed at me because there was only me, her, my mum and another lady in the stable. 

Fast forward to today, Thursday. My mum LEAVES me at the stable, when I am NOT ready for it, it being my second time in a VERY new and VERY scary and VERY overwhelming place. The owner of this stable forgot to tell his staff that I am adhd and autistic, so I had to tell them when I said that I had sensory issues with noise. THEN my mum didnt even get to the stable on time because she had to drop my sister off to work which is a 5 minute drive and it's a 20 minute drive from home to the stable. 

NOW my mother is FORCING me to go to the stables for 3 hours on Saturday when I am nowhere NEAR ready just because its PAID WORK. Like she has NO IDEA about my autism. Had a very very bad argument in the car which resulted in her saying that if I didn't shut up that she would pull over and 'slap the shit out of you' - her words exactly. 

I cried non-stop in the shower because I am so upset and angry. This stable was a HUGE mistake. I wish I had NEVER EVER EVER EVER applied to do work experience there. I miss the old stable I did work experience at. Yes the manager was a bit mean under stress, but at least the people there were NICE and they ACTUALLY taught me stuff AND DIDN'T LAUGH AT ME. I hate my life right now guys. All I want to do is cry. I'm so angry and upset. I'm not READY to work, its a BIG change from school, and I'm ESPECIALLY not ready to work on Saturdays when I haven't even adjusted to Tuesdays and Thursdays doing work experience. 

Someone PLEASE HELP. I can't take this. All I want to do is cry and cry and cry. I wish I had a friend at the stable. Even right now as I'm typing this I can't stop crying. I want out of this. If this is how hard working with horses is, I don't want to do it. I love horses, I do, but when you've got strangers and no friends and your mum leaves you at this stable and you have no family there and you're autistic and adhd, its a nightmare. I can't, I WON'T do this. Please help me. I'm not ready for this yet. I just want to cry and I really need a hug right now.

Hey there,

I'm really sorry to hear that things aren't going well on work experience. It sounds like it's really stressful and emotional for you right now, and I can really sense how unsupported and unheard you're feeling. How have you been coping with all of these emotions? I can imagine you're feeling quite overwhelmed a lot, but that's okay, you will get through it even if it doesn't seem like it now. 

I noticed what you said about how your mother threatened you when you were in the car together. This must have been really scary for you, and I just want to check, are you safe, or is there a chance you might be in danger in your home life? It's okay to be open about this, and we are only asking because we want to support you and help you through this. If you prefer, we can talk about this privately in the confidential support section as well. You can do this by clicking 'Confidential Support' at the top of the page. Take care and speak soon. 

[Horseygirl]

12 minutes ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

I'm really sorry to hear that things aren't going well on work experience. It sounds like it's really stressful and emotional for you right now, and I can really sense how unsupported and unheard you're feeling. How have you been coping with all of these emotions? I can imagine you're feeling quite overwhelmed a lot, but that's okay, you will get through it even if it doesn't seem like it now. 

I noticed what you said about how your mother threatened you when you were in the car together. This must have been really scary for you, and I just want to check, are you safe, or is there a chance you might be in danger in your home life? It's okay to be open about this, and we are only asking because we want to support you and help you through this. If you prefer, we can talk about this privately in the confidential support section as well. You can do this by clicking 'Confidential Support' at the top of the page. Take care and speak soon. 

Hey there,

 

I honestly haven't been coping well with these emotions. Honestly, yesterday when I got home I balled my eyes out in the shower, and I didn't give a damn if my mum heard me crying. My mum does threaten quite a bit but she's never actually gone through with the threats (thankfully), but please don't worry because I am perfectly safe. My dad is a cop and my sister and I always have each other's backs. I just wish my mum would listen. Yes it's good to push a little bit as it helps with self-development, but then there's pushing TOO much.

[-Aussie-]

2 hours ago, Horseygirl said:

Hey there,

I honestly haven't been coping well with these emotions. Honestly, yesterday when I got home I balled my eyes out in the shower, and I didn't give a damn if my mum heard me crying. My mum does threaten quite a bit but she's never actually gone through with the threats (thankfully), but please don't worry because I am perfectly safe. My dad is a cop and my sister and I always have each other's backs. I just wish my mum would listen. Yes it's good to push a little bit as it helps with self-development, but then there's pushing TOO much.

well thats good you are safe hopfully your mom will come around and see what she is doing. 

[Monsoon]

8 hours ago, Horseygirl said:

Hey there,

I honestly haven't been coping well with these emotions. Honestly, yesterday when I got home I balled my eyes out in the shower, and I didn't give a damn if my mum heard me crying. My mum does threaten quite a bit but she's never actually gone through with the threats (thankfully), but please don't worry because I am perfectly safe. My dad is a cop and my sister and I always have each other's backs. I just wish my mum would listen. Yes it's good to push a little bit as it helps with self-development, but then there's pushing TOO much.

Hey there,

I'm really sorry to hear it has been so hard for you. It sounds like you're completely overwhelmed at the moment and it must be exhausting right now. I'm wondering, how do you think the work experience will help with your self-development? I saw what you mentioned about this and that might be interesting to explore. 

Also, I'm glad that your mum has never gone through with the threats, but threatening you shouldn't be happening anyway, and I'm just mindful of how this might impact your wellbeing and relationship. How does it make you feel when she does things like this?