What is my sexuality?

[Benji]

Last 14 years I've been very sure im not gay or bisexual. But this one day I felt the urge to have sexual contact with my best mate and he considers himself not gay or bisexual. But everytime we see each other we feel the need to do stuff together. However he isn't even the most handsome guy i know so I have no clue why I want to do stuff with him. I still love doing stuff with girls and prefer it, im just wondering what my sexual orientation is if I want to do sexual stuff with a non-handsome lovely guy. 

[MySchoolLesbianZ]

I feel like it depends on how strong the feeling is. It's very possible that you just never thought about it or realized it before, so I would say that if you truly like this guy and want to do things with him, then it's probable that you're at least somewhat bi with a female preference (that's a thing, bisexuality is a spectrum). Another thing is, romantic and sexual attraction are two different things, so maybe you just never thought about it without thinking you had to be fully bisexual biromantic. It's completely possible that you're heteroromantic and bisexual, or something else. If you want more help, then you can describe the intensity of your attraction to him and how you feel towards other people. Also, the way he looks doesn't really matter that much, humans in general can be more attracted to smell and other things. What people think is attractive has also changed a lot over time.

It's also possible that you could be demisexual (you only develop sexual attraction to people you have an emotional bond with) since I noticed that he one of your closest friends, correct?

Anyway, tell me what you think of all of that. I know plenty about this stuff, I should be able to help :)

At the end of the day, love who you love and if you don't know how to label yourself don't let that stop you. I would say instead of saying that you're straight, at least say that you're questioning. Maybe have that friend read this too if he reciprocates?

But let me say: you probably aren't fully straight or fully gay. Everyone is somewhere on the spectrum when you think about it. But you described being not straight and not gay so I would say that you're definitely somewhere in the middle.

[Monsoon]

5 hours ago, Benji said:

Last 14 years I've been very sure im not gay or bisexual. But this one day I felt the urge to have sexual contact with my best mate and he considers himself not gay or bisexual. But everytime we see each other we feel the need to do stuff together. However he isn't even the most handsome guy i know so I have no clue why I want to do stuff with him. I still love doing stuff with girls and prefer it, im just wondering what my sexual orientation is if I want to do sexual stuff with a non-handsome lovely guy. 

Hey there,

I just saw your other post and will reply there. Take care and speak soon.