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Am i just being a jerk?


vega
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So the start of this year i made a new 'friend'

i though it would be good for me, she would push me to be more 'social' and that crap

but now she just irritates me

she yells at my other friend and then gets mad when he gets mad at her

she was pushing too hard for me to some party i didn't want to go to and wasn't allowed to go to because of stories of people drugging drinks

somedays i just wish she would leave me alone

does that make me a jerk?

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17 hours ago, vega said:

So the start of this year i made a new 'friend'

i though it would be good for me, she would push me to be more 'social' and that crap

but now she just irritates me

she yells at my other friend and then gets mad when he gets mad at her

she was pushing too hard for me to some party i didn't want to go to and wasn't allowed to go to because of stories of people drugging drinks

somedays i just wish she would leave me alone

does that make me a jerk?

Hey there,

Thank you for sharing this. It doesn't make you a jerk at all; your feelings are valid and it's important to express them. I'm wondering, why does doing that make you wonder if you are a jerk or not? 

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5 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

Thank you for sharing this. It doesn't make you a jerk at all; your feelings are valid and it's important to express them. I'm wondering, why does doing that make you wonder if you are a jerk or not? 

because sometimes she can be nice, and i just get irritated at how much she seems to rely on friends on top of her being sort of rude

i mean, its not her fault that she's an extrovert and thrives with people while i am an introvert and prefer to walk alone where there seems to be no code to everything

dont walk behind me, hurry, look at someone when they speak

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15 hours ago, vega said:

because sometimes she can be nice, and i just get irritated at how much she seems to rely on friends on top of her being sort of rude

i mean, its not her fault that she's an extrovert and thrives with people while i am an introvert and prefer to walk alone where there seems to be no code to everything

dont walk behind me, hurry, look at someone when they speak

Hey there,

Ah, okay, so it sounds like you're frustrated by the social rules that come into play when you spend time together. Is that fair to say? I'm wondering, if you were to tell her how you feel over message, what would you say?

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5 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

Ah, okay, so it sounds like you're frustrated by the social rules that come into play when you spend time together. Is that fair to say? I'm wondering, if you were to tell her how you feel over message, what would you say?

i dont know, im always too nice or too rude i'm told

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13 hours ago, vega said:

i dont know, im always too nice or too rude i'm told

Hey there,

I'm wondering then, do you think you might talk to her about it, or are you just going to try and move forward without doing that?

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On 11/26/2022 at 7:31 AM, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

I'm wondering then, do you think you might talk to her about it, or are you just going to try and move forward without doing that?

i would prefer not having to confront her, i feel uncomfortable in those situations, but my one friend is getting more angery by the day

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16 hours ago, vega said:

i would prefer not having to confront her, i feel uncomfortable in those situations, but my one friend is getting more angery by the day

Hey there,

I totally get why confrontation is uncomfortable, but I guess I'm wondering, do you think it will get better without having that chat with her, or does it need to happen?

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2 minutes ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

I totally get why confrontation is uncomfortable, but I guess I'm wondering, do you think it will get better without having that chat with her, or does it need to happen?

it miight need to happen, how should i start this?

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22 hours ago, vega said:

it miight need to happen, how should i start this?

Hey,

Yeah, I think so too. Before you do it, it can be helpful to think what you would like to get out of speaking with her. What would you like to be different after talking to her?

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On 11/30/2022 at 10:57 AM, Monsoon said:

Hey,

Yeah, I think so too. Before you do it, it can be helpful to think what you would like to get out of speaking with her. What would you like to be different after talking to her?

i would like her to be less controling, its that way for everyone, she is always telling all of her friends to do this, do that

im scared though because i just became friends with one of her friends, would she hate me if i spoke with her?

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