Am I Polyamorous or Not?

[-Aussie-]

So I like these two people But they are dating so I havent told them I like them. I have liked them for a while and that casueing me to ask myself if I am poly or not. I just need some help with this or just some Advice on what to do. 

[_Kai_]

1 hour ago, _mysticalMajesty_ said:

So I like these two people But they are dating so I havent told them I like them. I have liked them for a while and that casueing me to ask myself if I am poly or not. I just need some help with this or just some Advice on what to do. 

YESSSS, FINALLY SMTH I CAN HELP WITHHH

Ahem, well I mean it seems like you may be, but u like both? Are u wanting to be with the both of em? Or is it just a crush?

[MySchoolLesbianZ]

22 hours ago, _mysticalMajesty_ said:

So I like these two people But they are dating so I havent told them I like them. I have liked them for a while and that casueing me to ask myself if I am poly or not. I just need some help with this or just some Advice on what to do. 

I would say that there are a few potential situations:

1. You like one of them, not both, but the fact that they're dating is messing with your head somehow and you think you like both. (This one is the least likely.)

2. You have a crush on each of them individually, so you don't want to be in a relationship with both of them all together in cute little harmony.

3. You do like both of them in a way where you want to be a polyamrous relationship with them (in cute little harmony).

The first one is just possible because my brain is weird so I feel like it could be possible, but if you know that isn't an option, you can just eliminate it. You really just have to decide whether you want to be in a relationship with both at the same time (in cute little harmony... why do I keep saying that) or if you just have crushes on both of them individually. Hopefully that all makes sense. I can't really tell you whether you are but I do have some experience with this. If they aren't polyamrous you also wouldn't be able to be in that type of relationship with them, so I think that you should just question your feelings and imagine being a polyamrous relationship with them and then being in relationships with them individually and see which one is more what you want.

I'm not 100% sure but it's pretty straightforward to me so hopefully this helped break it down.

[-Aussie-]

22 hours ago, _Kai_ said:

YESSSS, FINALLY SMTH I CAN HELP WITHHH

Ahem, well I mean it seems like you may be, but u like both? Are u wanting to be with the both of em? Or is it just a crush?

I want to be with both of them And i have a crush on both of them and i have had a cruch of both of them for months now. 

 

1 hour ago, MySchoolLesbianZ said:

I would say that there are a few potential situations:

1. You like one of them, not both, but the fact that they're dating is messing with your head somehow and you think you like both. (This one is the least likely.)

2. You have a crush on each of them individually, so you don't want to be in a relationship with both of them all together in cute little harmony.

3. You do like both of them in a way where you want to be a polyamrous relationship with them (in cute little harmony).

The first one is just possible because my brain is weird so I feel like it could be possible, but if you know that isn't an option, you can just eliminate it. You really just have to decide whether you want to be in a relationship with both at the same time (in cute little harmony... why do I keep saying that) or if you just have crushes on both of them individually. Hopefully that all makes sense. I can't really tell you whether you are but I do have some experience with this. If they aren't polyamrous you also wouldn't be able to be in that type of relationship with them, so I think that you should just question your feelings and imagine being a polyamrous relationship with them and then being in relationships with them individually and see which one is more what you want.

I'm not 100% sure but it's pretty straightforward to me so hopefully this helped break it down.

I wanna be with both of them in like one relationship. I know one of them is poly and wants someone else in their relationship but I think that other ones dosen't want that. 

[MySchoolLesbianZ]

Just now, _mysticalMajesty_ said:

I want to be with both of them And i have a crush on both of them and i have had a cruch of both of them for months now. 

I wanna be with both of them in like one relationship. I know one of them is poly and wants someone else in their relationship but I think that other ones dosen't want that.

It sounds like you're poly then. If they aren't both poly then you probably won't be able to be in a polyamrous relationship with them but maybe the other one will decide to try it out and see and you might have a chance then. Or maybe they both are and you're misinformed somehow. Idk how you know or anything like that; I'm just trying to be supportive.

[-Aussie-]

55 minutes ago, MySchoolLesbianZ said:

It sounds like you're poly then. If they aren't both poly then you probably won't be able to be in a polyamrous relationship with them but maybe the other one will decide to try it out and see and you might have a chance then. Or maybe they both are and you're misinformed somehow. Idk how you know or anything like that; I'm just trying to be supportive.

I know cause one of them told me.

[-Aussie-]

So this is a update on the two people i think i am going to tell one of them

[MySchoolLesbianZ]

6 minutes ago, _mysticalMajesty_ said:

So this is a update on the two people i think i am going to tell one of them

Okay, awesome! I'm happy for you, good luck! I'm sure it won't end too badly if it doesn't end as well as you hope :)

[-Aussie-]

3 minutes ago, MySchoolLesbianZ said:

Okay, awesome! I'm happy for you, good luck! I'm sure it won't end too badly if it doesn't end as well as you hope :)

I hope it goes well i am kinda scared though. 

[-Aussie-]

So umm, This is an update i told one of them and it didn't end good. They are not talking to me now so i think they may just need time. I hope we can still be friends though.

[-Aussie-]

3 hours ago, _mysticalMajesty_ said:

So umm, This is an update i told one of them and it didn't end good. They are not talking to me now so i think they may just need time. I hope we can still be friends though.

Its been about 3ish hours and I went to lunch and in lunch one of them came to me and said "I think we should stop being friends for now". I don't know if that goes for both of them but i think i just messed everthing up. I am very upset and mad at myself. 

[MySchoolLesbianZ]

I don't even know what to say...

I'm so sorry that happened, and I'm sure that if you give them some space then they might be okay with being friends again. That sucks, I'm so sorry. I know what it's like to go through rejection and possibly loose friends from it. That's a horrible thing, and people shouldn't feel uncomfortable with you afterward.

I'm truly so sorry that happened. Things will improve, that's all I can say. In the future, though. Someday you'll find someone.

 

[-Aussie-]

2 hours ago, MySchoolLesbianZ said:

I don't even know what to say...

I'm so sorry that happened, and I'm sure that if you give them some space then they might be okay with being friends again. That sucks, I'm so sorry. I know what it's like to go through rejection and possibly loose friends from it. That's a horrible thing, and people shouldn't feel uncomfortable with you afterward.

I'm truly so sorry that happened. Things will improve, that's all I can say. In the future, though. Someday you'll find someone.

Its ok i hope it will get better but i am just mad at my self cause they were two of the very few friends i have but i don't know if i can call us friends anymore

[-Aussie-]

its been a day and we are still not talking I still have a littel hope that we may become friends but i am starting to lose hope. I am starting to feel like they hate me cause now no one in the friends group will talk to me so i think they have told everyone. 

[Monsoon]

21 hours ago, _mysticalMajesty_ said:

its been a day and we are still not talking I still have a littel hope that we may become friends but i am starting to lose hope. I am starting to feel like they hate me cause now no one in the friends group will talk to me so i think they have told everyone. 

Hey there,

I'm really sorry to hear that you still haven't spoken with them. It sounds like they might be shocked and have reacted emotionally to what's happened, so it might be that they just need some time to process and think about what has happened. Maybe you could give it a couple of weeks and they try speaking with them then? 

Also, with the others in the friendship group, I'm wondering, what has happened when you've tried to talk to them?

[-Aussie-]

20 minutes ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

I'm really sorry to hear that you still haven't spoken with them. It sounds like they might be shocked and have reacted emotionally to what's happened, so it might be that they just need some time to process and think about what has happened. Maybe you could give it a couple of weeks and they try speaking with them then? 

Also, with the others in the friendship group, I'm wondering, what has happened when you've tried to talk to them?

Every time i try talking with any of them they all walk away and pretend i am a ghoust

[-Aussie-]

its been almost a week and we are still not talking so i think i may just give up. 

[Monsoon]

2 hours ago, _mysticalMajesty_ said:

i have lost all hope on trying to talk to them now

Hey there,

I'm really sorry to hear that you're still not talking. I was thinking it might last for a couple of days and then start to get better. How are you feeling about all of this? I can imagine you must be pretty upset, especially as you said you only have a small group anyway. I hope you're as okay as you can be. You have us and the rest of the community here and we've got your back. 

[-Aussie-]

21 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

I'm really sorry to hear that you're still not talking. I was thinking it might last for a couple of days and then start to get better. How are you feeling about all of this? I can imagine you must be pretty upset, especially as you said you only have a small group anyway. I hope you're as okay as you can be. You have us and the rest of the community here and we've got your back. 

I kinda don't care anymore i have no more friends and i lost them so i don't think i matters anymore

[-Aussie-]

21 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

I'm really sorry to hear that you're still not talking. I was thinking it might last for a couple of days and then start to get better. How are you feeling about all of this? I can imagine you must be pretty upset, especially as you said you only have a small group anyway. I hope you're as okay as you can be. You have us and the rest of the community here and we've got your back. 

I kinda don't care anymore i have no more friends and i lost them so i don't think i matters anymore

[Monsoon]

15 hours ago, _mysticalMajesty_ said:

I kinda don't care anymore i have no more friends and i lost them so i don't think i matters anymore

Hey,

I know this must be really emotional for you, and I totally get it. I can imagine you're feeling betrayed and let down. As an outsider to the situation, I think that if they are not speaking to you because of what you told your other friend, then they can't have been very good friends in the first place. Although it sucks now, in the long term, maybe the friendships wouldn't have gone much further anyway because it kind of sounds like they might not have been great friends if they can treat you like this. What do you think? I mean, this is based on the chance that they are ignoring you because of what happened, but there might also be something else. 

[-Aussie-]

On 12/4/2022 at 5:04 AM, Monsoon said:

Hey,

I know this must be really emotional for you, and I totally get it. I can imagine you're feeling betrayed and let down. As an outsider to the situation, I think that if they are not speaking to you because of what you told your other friend, then they can't have been very good friends in the first place. Although it sucks now, in the long term, maybe the friendships wouldn't have gone much further anyway because it kind of sounds like they might not have been great friends if they can treat you like this. What do you think? I mean, this is based on the chance that they are ignoring you because of what happened, but there might also be something else. 

well i have been friends with them sense i was 5 and were still friends so i don't know.

[Monsoon]

5 hours ago, _mysticalMajesty_ said:

well i have been friends with them sense i was 5 and were still friends so i don't know.

Hey,

I'm wondering, what do you think you might do next? Are you hoping to talk things through with them to find out what happened?

[-Aussie-]

7 minutes ago, Monsoon said:

Hey,

I'm wondering, what do you think you might do next? Are you hoping to talk things through with them to find out what happened?

i don't know what i would do next

[Monsoon]

22 hours ago, _mysticalMajesty_ said:

i don't know what i would do next

Hey there,

That's okay, maybe just take some time to process the feelings and then see what you want to do next; what do you think?