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how do you all deal with depersonalization


pretzeLinBin    

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hey all I'm going to try to keep this lighthearted

also unsure whether this actually needs a trigger warning lol

I posted something like this on trevorspace before but oops wow yay guess what's started happening again!!!!!!!! and they have mentors here so whatever this place might help more anyway!!!!!

recently I've been feeling like I'm not real--the best way to describe it would be that I feel like I'm "the narrator," like I'm just a consciousness in a computer or just a voice in my head. it's been happening recently more often and gamers I would like it to not happen because it's really distressing at times! a few nights ago I said something out loud after not talking for a while and I felt this intense wave of heat and cold at the same time, like my brain just remembered I was real. it's not debilitating and I can usually just work through it (or intensely ignore it) but believe it or not I would like it to stop happening! it's not fun!

so how do you all deal with depersonalization? I've tried the 5 thinks you can see/4 thinks you can touch/etc. method but a lot of the time I'm too lazy to actually go through with it (name 5 whole things??? yeah no thanks too much effort I'll just stay like this for a while), so recently I've been trying to just work through it, telling myself stuff like "I Don't Care If I'm Not Real The Body Has To Do Laundry And I'm Helping It" and "I Can't Just Stop Existing I'm Not Allowed." idk though, anything helps

thanks!

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This post has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Mental Illness

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On 11/22/2022 at 4:51 AM, pretzeLinBin said:

hey all I'm going to try to keep this lighthearted

also unsure whether this actually needs a trigger warning lol

I posted something like this on trevorspace before but oops wow yay guess what's started happening again!!!!!!!! and they have mentors here so whatever this place might help more anyway!!!!!

recently I've been feeling like I'm not real--the best way to describe it would be that I feel like I'm "the narrator," like I'm just a consciousness in a computer or just a voice in my head. it's been happening recently more often and gamers I would like it to not happen because it's really distressing at times! a few nights ago I said something out loud after not talking for a while and I felt this intense wave of heat and cold at the same time, like my brain just remembered I was real. it's not debilitating and I can usually just work through it (or intensely ignore it) but believe it or not I would like it to stop happening! it's not fun!

so how do you all deal with depersonalization? I've tried the 5 thinks you can see/4 thinks you can touch/etc. method but a lot of the time I'm too lazy to actually go through with it (name 5 whole things??? yeah no thanks too much effort I'll just stay like this for a while), so recently I've been trying to just work through it, telling myself stuff like "I Don't Care If I'm Not Real The Body Has To Do Laundry And I'm Helping It" and "I Can't Just Stop Existing I'm Not Allowed." idk though, anything helps

thanks!

Hi @pretzeLinBin, I'm Aurora, I'm one of the other support mentors here. Thank you for reaching out to us. I can imagine that this isn't much fun for you and that you would like it to stop happening. And I can totally understand that it must feel distressing at times.  It sounds like you've tried a few things. The 5, 4, 3.... method can be helpful to make us feel grounded but I can understand if you don't want to keep having to go through all the steps. I'm wondering, whether using your senses might be enough to bring yourself back to the moment. If you haven't tried it yet, maybe try touching something eg a fluffy scarf or you could hold your hands under cold water. How does that sound? 

You also mentioned that you tell yourself stuff. Can I ask how that has that been working for you and is there a certain sentence/phrase in particular that you find helpful?

Depersonalisation can happen when we're feeling really stressed or after a traumatic experience. It can be our brain's way of copying with stress and protecting us from all the stress. Do you mind me asking, if you have been feeling very stressed recently or if there is anything that you think might have triggered this? It might be helpful to know, where this is coming from but please don't feel you have to answer this question if you don't want to.

 

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On 11/23/2022 at 5:28 AM, Aurora said:

Hi @pretzeLinBin, I'm Aurora, I'm one of the other support mentors here. Thank you for reaching out to us. I can imagine that this isn't much fun for you and that you would like it to stop happening. And I can totally understand that it must feel distressing at times.  It sounds like you've tried a few things. The 5, 4, 3.... method can be helpful to make us feel grounded but I can understand if you don't want to keep having to go through all the steps. I'm wondering, whether using your senses might be enough to bring yourself back to the moment. If you haven't tried it yet, maybe try touching something eg a fluffy scarf or you could hold your hands under cold water. How does that sound? 

You also mentioned that you tell yourself stuff. Can I ask how that has that been working for you and is there a certain sentence/phrase in particular that you find helpful?

Depersonalisation can happen when we're feeling really stressed or after a traumatic experience. It can be our brain's way of copying with stress and protecting us from all the stress. Do you mind me asking, if you have been feeling very stressed recently or if there is anything that you think might have triggered this? It might be helpful to know, where this is coming from but please don't feel you have to answer this question if you don't want to.

hi! I'll try running my hands under cold water next time, maybe the shock will be enough to ground me?

As for telling myself stuff, I haven't found any specific phrase that helps. I just talk to myself to keep myself on task, because if I can't just snap out of depersonalization I figure I can just work through it, so stuff like "I get it's weird but we still have to eat" and "maybe it's because we've been on the computer for 8 hours... lets go walk around a bit."

Honestly I've also been wondering what's caused it all to happen. I haven't been super stressed and nothing traumatic's happened, so there's nothing specific to point towards. tbh, I just assumed I spend too much time on the computer

this was honestly really helpful though, thank you for responding!

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On 11/26/2022 at 3:43 AM, pretzeLinBin said:

hi! I'll try running my hands under cold water next time, maybe the shock will be enough to ground me?

As for telling myself stuff, I haven't found any specific phrase that helps. I just talk to myself to keep myself on task, because if I can't just snap out of depersonalization I figure I can just work through it, so stuff like "I get it's weird but we still have to eat" and "maybe it's because we've been on the computer for 8 hours... lets go walk around a bit."

Honestly I've also been wondering what's caused it all to happen. I haven't been super stressed and nothing traumatic's happened, so there's nothing specific to point towards. tbh, I just assumed I spend too much time on the computer

this was honestly really helpful though, thank you for responding!

You're very welcome. We're always here for you 🙂

If you like, you can let me know if running your hands under cold water works. Also, it's interesting that you mentioned spending too much time on the computer. Have you tried cutting down on your screen time and taking regular breaks? It can take a while to work out what the right break schedule is for you. Eg some find it helpful to take a 5min break every 25 min, where as for others it can work better to take a slightly longer break every hour. It might be worth experimenting what's best for you. Maybe you could try cutting down on screen time and having more breaks for two weeks (it can often take time for change to take place) and see if this makes a difference. How does that sound? 

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Hey

just wanted to say I’ve struggled with this for a very long time also and I understand how you feel. I did a lot of reading and tried a lot of things and my perspective changed when I learned that in some cultures, depersonalisation is seen as a gift because it allows the ‘receiver’ to be able to deal with higher levels of stress and they also believe people with depersonalisation are spiritually advanced. Since I learned that I stopped seeing it so much as being an illness and started to see it as a super power. Just a different perspective :)

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19 hours ago, jake said:

Hey

just wanted to say I’ve struggled with this for a very long time also and I understand how you feel. I did a lot of reading and tried a lot of things and my perspective changed when I learned that in some cultures, depersonalisation is seen as a gift because it allows the ‘receiver’ to be able to deal with higher levels of stress and they also believe people with depersonalisation are spiritually advanced. Since I learned that I stopped seeing it so much as being an illness and started to see it as a super power. Just a different perspective :)

Thank you @jake for sharing a different perspective. That's a really good point about seeing it as a super power.  It is amazing what our brain can do! 

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22 hours ago, jake said:

Hey

just wanted to say I’ve struggled with this for a very long time also and I understand how you feel. I did a lot of reading and tried a lot of things and my perspective changed when I learned that in some cultures, depersonalisation is seen as a gift because it allows the ‘receiver’ to be able to deal with higher levels of stress and they also believe people with depersonalisation are spiritually advanced. Since I learned that I stopped seeing it so much as being an illness and started to see it as a super power. Just a different perspective :)

that's an interesting perspective!

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This post has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Mental Illness

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On 11/28/2022 at 5:51 AM, Aurora said:

You're very welcome. We're always here for you 🙂

If you like, you can let me know if running your hands under cold water works. Also, it's interesting that you mentioned spending too much time on the computer. Have you tried cutting down on your screen time and taking regular breaks? It can take a while to work out what the right break schedule is for you. Eg some find it helpful to take a 5min break every 25 min, where as for others it can work better to take a slightly longer break every hour. It might be worth experimenting what's best for you. Maybe you could try cutting down on screen time and having more breaks for two weeks (it can often take time for change to take place) and see if this makes a difference. How does that sound? 

okay, I'll try that!

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21 hours ago, pretzeLinBin said:

okay, I'll try that!

If you like you can let us know how it goes 🙂

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