Therapy Session part 2?

[Gremlin]

Hello internet!

Im to restless to sleep again so I’m going to try to get another worry off my chest, which is me next therapy session! I’m anxious but is a good way? I decided to write things down some thing that I wanted to talk about during my time there. I won’t bore you to much with what I wrote, it was mainly being able to talk. Because I see that being a common trend whenever I go and I don’t want to waste any with sitting in silence.

I’m not sure the reason I go completely non-verbal is because I’m being put on the spot with starting the conversation? For have to many thoughts on what I want to say my mouth can’t keep up? Or it’s a defense mechanism my brain made up when I was a child whenever I had to say how I feel about something. Because when I was little I always had to be careful with what I said because my parents weren’t together and they would use what I say agent each other, even if what is said was a joke like, 

“I wish I could stay here a little more”

”I wish mom didn’t yell so much”

The more a ramble the more I realize that I realized that I answer my own question? Idk still feel like I’m missing something, even with knowing the reason WHY it still keeps happening. Is there something I’m missing?

 

 

[Aurora]

On 11/14/2022 at 5:34 AM, Gremlin said:

Hello internet!

Im to restless to sleep again so I’m going to try to get another worry off my chest, which is me next therapy session! I’m anxious but is a good way? I decided to write things down some thing that I wanted to talk about during my time there. I won’t bore you to much with what I wrote, it was mainly being able to talk. Because I see that being a common trend whenever I go and I don’t want to waste any with sitting in silence.

I’m not sure the reason I go completely non-verbal is because I’m being put on the spot with starting the conversation? For have to many thoughts on what I want to say my mouth can’t keep up? Or it’s a defense mechanism my brain made up when I was a child whenever I had to say how I feel about something. Because when I was little I always had to be careful with what I said because my parents weren’t together and they would use what I say agent each other, even if what is said was a joke like, 

“I wish I could stay here a little more”

”I wish mom didn’t yell so much”

The more a ramble the more I realize that I realized that I answer my own question? Idk still feel like I’m missing something, even with knowing the reason WHY it still keeps happening. Is there something I’m missing?

Hi there, thank you for opening up about what's been going on during your therapy session. It's really interesting that you said that you answered your own question. I think that's why a lot of people find talking about things helpful. Often, by letting it out and talking about it, it gives us an opportunity to process our feelings and thoughts, which can lead to us finding the answer ourself 

It sounds like you are a very thoughtful and insightful person. I'm wondering, now that you know where your hesitance to talk might come from, has this made a difference? You mentioned that even with knowing the reason why, it still happens. I just wanted to reassure you, that that is normal. It sounds like it has been like this for a long time so it's going to take a while for you to feel comfortable opening up and talking about what's on your mind. One thing that might be helpful is to try and notice if you can notice any change at all, even if it's very small. And if you feel comfortable to, maybe you could share it with us? 

[Gremlin]

I notice that before I completely stop talking I stuffed up, I fidget with my hands and when the person is finished what they had to say and asks me a question afterwards. It’s like I have a frog stuck in my throat, even if I try to force words out it’s really hard.

Also, another small question about therapy, is it normal to address one main topic in a session? I noticed this the last time I went. Idk maybe im just used to rambling about all the things in my mind to my friends in one go. Just thought I would ask

[Aurora]

6 hours ago, Gremlin said:

I notice that before I completely stop talking I stuffed up, I fidget with my hands and when the person is finished what they had to say and asks me a question afterwards. It’s like I have a frog stuck in my throat, even if I try to force words out it’s really hard.

Also, another small question about therapy, is it normal to address one main topic in a session? I noticed this the last time I went. Idk maybe im just used to rambling about all the things in my mind to my friends in one go. Just thought I would ask

Thank you for sharing that with me. Those are some really good observations. From what you're saying it sounds like you're feeling anxious in those situations and this is preventing you from talking, rather than there being too many thoughts in your mind and your mouth not being able to keep up. Would you agree? Do you mind me asking, do you only have this during therapy or can you think of any other situations, where you feel like you can't talk? 

With regards to your question about therapy I would say the focus and the pace of a therapy session very much depends on the individual therapist and the person going to therapy. It is common practice to focus on one thing at a time as this can help to explore and unpick some of the underlying feelings. Can I ask, how does it feel for you to focus on one main topic? 

[Gremlin]

I think thats the reason why I find it hard to speak whenever I talk about how I’m feeling! It also happens when I talk to most of my friends if I’m not super super close to them, but texting does make communicating with others easier for me. As for therapy I don’t mind going one topic at a time, I trust my therapist judgement because even if I feel like I could go onto another topic. I could just be trying to rush through it without actually reflecting. 

[Aurora]

On 11/16/2022 at 7:57 PM, Gremlin said:

I think thats the reason why I find it hard to speak whenever I talk about how I’m feeling! It also happens when I talk to most of my friends if I’m not super super close to them, but texting does make communicating with others easier for me. As for therapy I don’t mind going one topic at a time, I trust my therapist judgement because even if I feel like I could go onto another topic. I could just be trying to rush through it without actually reflecting. 

It's good to hear you trust your therapist. Have you had another session with them. And if yes, do you mind me asking how it went? Did it feel easier to talk to them this time? 

It does sound like you might be anxious about talking about your feelings. Have you noticed this is any other situation, or is it just when you want to talk about how you feel? 

[Gremlin]

I haven't had a session recently but its soon!

But the last session went really well, I decided to write everything down that was on my mind in my  notebook and let her write it down in her notes. So when I'm feeling non-verbal I can still say the things I wanted too. Still working up the talking to them more naturally but its still a little bit forced,  whenever I talk about how I feel with her and other people.  

[Aurora]

On 11/19/2022 at 2:48 PM, Gremlin said:

I haven't had a session recently but its soon!

But the last session went really well, I decided to write everything down that was on my mind in my  notebook and let her write it down in her notes. So when I'm feeling non-verbal I can still say the things I wanted too. Still working up the talking to them more naturally but its still a little bit forced,  whenever I talk about how I feel with her and other people.  

That sounds really positive. That's a great idea to write it all down and to pass it to your therapist so she could make a note of it. 

It sounds to me like you're still finding it a bit difficult to talk to people about how you feel but it's getting better. Is that right? Have you noticed anything that helps you to feel more relaxed in those situations? 

[Gremlin]

I do still have trouble talking to people, but what helps is hearing other people talk. So I know that they at least interested in the conversation instead of me just taking their ear off the whole time, or over sharing.

[Monsoon]

4 hours ago, Gremlin said:

I do still have trouble talking to people, but what helps is hearing other people talk. So I know that they at least interested in the conversation instead of me just taking their ear off the whole time, or over sharing.

Hey there,

I'm glad you've found something that helps, and yeah, it's so important to know someone is interested, so I get that.

I'm wondering, is there one small thing you could do in the next week or two to try and open up a bit more/connect with someone a bit deeper? 

[Gremlin]

Maybe finding out what others interests are because if we both have something in common. I know that I can go on a whole ramble about it.

[Aurora]

9 hours ago, Gremlin said:

Maybe finding out what others interests are because if we both have something in common. I know that I can go on a whole ramble about it.

That sounds like a great starting point. Do you want to give that a go and let us know how it goes?

You've mentioned a few times now that you tend to ramble. Is that something you've noticed or have other people told you this? I'm just wondering if you're worried that you might ramble or talk too much and that this is stopping you from opening up to others. What do you think? 

[Gremlin]

I’ll give it a try with her. Rambling is something that I noticed about myself and for people telling me. So when ever I start rambling to someone that isn’t in my circle of friends, I notice that the person I’m talking to losses interest. Which eventually makes me stop talking sense I said more then what they wanted to hear and their not really listening.

[Aurora]

14 hours ago, Gremlin said:

I’ll give it a try with her. Rambling is something that I noticed about myself and for people telling me. So when ever I start rambling to someone that isn’t in my circle of friends, I notice that the person I’m talking to losses interest. Which eventually makes me stop talking sense I said more then what they wanted to hear and their not really listening.

Do you think that this is stopping you from opening up to others or do you think there is no connection between the two? 

[Gremlin]

I think to some extent yes it does. 
 

I was able talk to my therapist a bit more in are last session! I wasn’t able to write down what happened in my notebook like I normally would, but I was able to write it on my phone so I kinda just read to her what I wrote. I was anxious while reading it aloud, I didn’t want me mom to hear me. But I must say that it did feel good to read it aloud.

Edited November 25, 2022 by Gremlin
Miss spelling

[Aurora]

10 hours ago, Gremlin said:

I think to some extent yes it does. 
 

I was able talk to my therapist a bit more in are last session! I wasn’t able to write down what happened in my notebook like I normally would, but I was able to write it on my phone so I kinda just read to her what I wrote. I was anxious while reading it aloud, I didn’t want me mom to hear me. But I must say that it did feel good to read it aloud.

Brilliant, that's really great!! Did you notice anything that helped you to find the confidence to read it out?

I noticed that you mentioned to Monsoon that you could try and find out what someone else's interest is to try and connect to them like this. Can I ask, if you've tried that yet and if so, how did it go?

[Gremlin]

I think when I started reading what I wrote it made me feel better and work up the confidence to actually start talking to her about it. I haven’t asked her directly what her interests are but after I was done talking, she talked about some of her hobbies.

[Aurora]

On 11/25/2022 at 11:26 PM, Gremlin said:

I think when I started reading what I wrote it made me feel better and work up the confidence to actually start talking to her about it. I haven’t asked her directly what her interests are but after I was done talking, she talked about some of her hobbies.

Brilliant. That sounds really positive. What do you think the next step might be to help you gain even more confidence in talking about your feelings? 

Also, it sounds like you're connecting with the person you've been telling me about, if they are talking about their hobbies. Do you mind me asking, how you know the person?