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I need some family advice


Ani006

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So my mum got remarried to my step dad end of last year. And at first I thought he’d be really nice as I tried to be as welcoming as I can. I’ve noticed though he only ever pays attention to my older brother and they have such a good relationship but when it comes to me he barely even acknowledges my existence. I’ve tried speaking to him and my mum about this on several occasions but each time they just either say I’m overreacting or just jealous. I really don’t know what to do because it makes us all living together uncomfortable 

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  • Ditch the Label Staff
13 hours ago, Ani006 said:

So my mum got remarried to my step dad end of last year. And at first I thought he’d be really nice as I tried to be as welcoming as I can. I’ve noticed though he only ever pays attention to my older brother and they have such a good relationship but when it comes to me he barely even acknowledges my existence. I’ve tried speaking to him and my mum about this on several occasions but each time they just either say I’m overreacting or just jealous. I really don’t know what to do because it makes us all living together uncomfortable 

Hi there and a warm welcome to community.

It sounds that whatever you're feeling is valid, especially as you were so keen to welcome him. I'm wondering if you could arrange to spend some time with him with just the 2 of you? Go out for lunch or a coffee etc so you have the opportunity to start building your own bond with him. Do you think that's something you would be comfortable suggesting?  

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  • Ditch the Label Staff
2 hours ago, Ani006 said:

I’ve tried that multiple times but I always get blown off or I just get told no

You’ve said that he appears to get on with your sibling easily - do they do things together?

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  • Digital Mentor

Hey there,

I'm wondering, have you spoken to him about how you feel? It might be helpful to let it out and see what his perspective is. I really do think that honesty is the best policy, and communicating with the person you're having an issue with is the best way to move forwar.d 

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Hey,

I can imagine that was really frustrating for you. Your feelings are valid and there needs to be a change to make things better; I completely see your perspective. I’m wondering, when you did speak to him, what did you say? Also, when you approached him, was it during an argument already or was it calm? 

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  • 2 weeks later...

It was calm, I approached him when he wasn’t doing anything and said that I wanted to talk about the situation and explained my feelings but I kept getting interrupted or ignored and I tried to keep the environment calm but I could tell he was getting annoyed almost and since I wasn’t able to say what I wanted without getting interrupted I left

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41 minutes ago, Ani006 said:

It was calm, I approached him when he wasn’t doing anything and said that I wanted to talk about the situation and explained my feelings but I kept getting interrupted or ignored and I tried to keep the environment calm but I could tell he was getting annoyed almost and since I wasn’t able to say what I wanted without getting interrupted I left

Hmmmm, maybe you should try telling ur mom how u feel, since ur stepdad won't listen maybe she will if you explain everything that has happened and how it has made u feel

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  • Digital Mentor

Hey @Ani006

I'm sorry to hear he didn't respond well. I think it would be good to speak to your mom like @Ani006 said, and maybe she can then tell him how you've been feeling. I was thinking that it might be pretty helpful to hear it from someone else as he may feel less defensive. What do you think?

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