Should I talk about my gender with my psychologist?

[Pedro (Peter)]

Hello, it's been a while since I've been here but I really needed help with this matter. So I'm going to a psychologist, finally, and we've been talking about things that make me feel more down lately. We already talked about past friendships, self-esteem, weight, university, school and friends, prom and other stuff but one of the things that I think brings me down a lot is my sexuality and the confusion of my gender, some days these two are always on my head. So I really wanted to talk about it with her but I'm scared, first I'm scared about her reaction, I don't think she would discriminate me but I still think that, she's young and she gets most problems teenagers suffer from, but second I also have a lot of difficulty to admit and say outloud that I'm bisexual and maybe I'm a trans man (not quite sure). Last time I tried and even talked that I wanted a more masculine hair and dress more manly clothes but the rest of the words just couldn't get out of my mind. I really wanted to talk to her about it cuz I think this is one of the problems that keeps me down but I don't have the courage. Do you guys pls have any advice? Thank You, Chris (for now).

[Cal_The_Oyster]

Hey Chris I dont know if weve met but thisboiistrans here,

I think taking baby steps is key to getting it all in the open. I know that can be really frustrating for you but in time you will get there.

[Monsoon]

22 hours ago, Christopher (Chris) said:

Hello, it's been a while since I've been here but I really needed help with this matter. So I'm going to a psychologist, finally, and we've been talking about things that make me feel more down lately. We already talked about past friendships, self-esteem, weight, university, school and friends, prom and other stuff but one of the things that I think brings me down a lot is my sexuality and the confusion of my gender, some days these two are always on my head. So I really wanted to talk about it with her but I'm scared, first I'm scared about her reaction, I don't think she would discriminate me but I still think that, she's young and she gets most problems teenagers suffer from, but second I also have a lot of difficulty to admit and say outloud that I'm bisexual and maybe I'm a trans man (not quite sure). Last time I tried and even talked that I wanted a more masculine hair and dress more manly clothes but the rest of the words just couldn't get out of my mind. I really wanted to talk to her about it cuz I think this is one of the problems that keeps me down but I don't have the courage. Do you guys pls have any advice? Thank You, Chris (for now).

Hey Chris,

Thank you for reaching out to us. I completely get why you're having difficulty saying these things out loud; you are revealing a part of yourself you've been hiding and probably have a lot of challenging emotions around, so it's completely normal as to why you're feeling the fear. I always say, feel the fear, and do it anyway! All psychologists are trained to be non-judgemental and respond in ways that help you to feel safe and secure, so she is the perfect person to open up to. What do you think? 

[Pedro (Peter)]

Yeah I don't think she would judge me, I hope not. I'm just afraid she can't help me, with my sexuality is easy because now is a more talked in society and she is probably familiarized with that, but what if I tell her I'm confused with my gender, will she know how to handle a situation like that??

[Monsoon]

17 minutes ago, Christopher (Chris) said:

Yeah I don't think she would judge me, I hope not. I'm just afraid she can't help me, with my sexuality is easy because now is a more talked in society and she is probably familiarized with that, but what if I tell her I'm confused with my gender, will she know how to handle a situation like that??

Hey there,

I'm sure she will be able to help you, but if she needs to find out more information to help you, she can just do that. She will have lots of expert training to help you move forward, so keep that in mind, and it will be good for your confidence to open up about this as well. What do you think?

[Pedro (Peter)]

Okk, I'll have the courage and talk to her about it, because I think these factors are one of the things that bring me down.

[Monsoon]

4 hours ago, Christopher (Chris) said:

Okk, I'll have the courage and talk to her about it, because I think these factors are one of the things that bring me down.

Yeah, definitely go for it. Would you like to let us know how it goes when you've done it? It's okay if not, and if you feel like you don't need more support at this point, that's okay too, just let us know. 

[Pedro (Peter)]

Yeah, I'll will let you know how it went, but I was thinking something and wanted to know your opinion on something. I was thinking of writting my worries in a paper, and include the part of my sexuality and gender, and give it to her. Is it a good idea, or I should TALK about it??

[Aurora]

48 minutes ago, Christopher (Chris) said:

Yeah, I'll will let you know how it went, but I was thinking something and wanted to know your opinion on something. I was thinking of writting my worries in a paper, and include the part of my sexuality and gender, and give it to her. Is it a good idea, or I should TALK about it??

Hi Chris, Monsoon is away until Sunday so I thought I would jump in. I hope you don't mind. I think writing it down as part of your worries on a paper and give it to her is a really good idea. I know it can be difficult to start conversations around our sexuality and gender and it can be easier to write it down. I often suggest writing it down and giving it to the person, if we don't feel comfortable enough to talk about it. Like this your therapist can pick up on what you've written and she can start the conversation. Do you think you would like her to start the conversation? Would this make it easier for you to talk about it? 

[Pedro (Peter)]

Yeah, it's totally ok for you to jump in Monsoon place, as long as you help me :) I think I'll writte it, because it's something I don't feel that comfortable saying out loud and I do prefer if she starts the conversation it's much easier for me. She normally leads the conversation and we go from there. Thank You for your advice.

[Blondie]

On 10/21/2022 at 3:37 PM, Christopher (Chris) said:

Yeah, it's totally ok for you to jump in Monsoon place, as long as you help me :) I think I'll writte it, because it's something I don't feel that comfortable saying out loud and I do prefer if she starts the conversation it's much easier for me. She normally leads the conversation and we go from there. Thank You for your advice.

Hey @Christopher (Chris) I jut wanted to let you know that @Aurora will be back on Monday 24th to pick this up. 

[Aurora]

On 10/21/2022 at 3:37 PM, Christopher (Chris) said:

Yeah, it's totally ok for you to jump in Monsoon place, as long as you help me :) I think I'll writte it, because it's something I don't feel that comfortable saying out loud and I do prefer if she starts the conversation it's much easier for me. She normally leads the conversation and we go from there. Thank You for your advice.

You're very welcome. It's often easier to write things down and it's a good way to start a conversation about something we don't feel comfortable talking about. If you want, you can let us know how it went (but please don't feel you have to). We're here for you  

[Pedro (Peter)]

On 10/24/2022 at 12:31 PM, Aurora said:

You're very welcome. It's often easier to write things down and it's a good way to start a conversation about something we don't feel comfortable talking about. If you want, you can let us know how it went (but please don't feel you have to). We're here for you  

Hii, so I already went and gave her the paper, and it went really well. We talked about what I was feeling, she even said she kinda already knew it, and was just waiting for me to confirm it. We talked about why I was confused and she said we are gonna go slow about it, I even told her I talked to you guys and she said it was good I had a community to talk to. She thanked me for having trust in her, and it went really good, I was really happy. 

[Aurora]

3 hours ago, Christopher (Chris) said:

Hii, so I already went and gave her the paper, and it went really well. We talked about what I was feeling, she even said she kinda already knew it, and was just waiting for me to confirm it. We talked about why I was confused and she said we are gonna go slow about it, I even told her I talked to you guys and she said it was good I had a community to talk to. She thanked me for having trust in her, and it went really good, I was really happy. 

Thank you so much for letting us know how it went. It's wonderful to hear that it went so well . You sound really happy and I'm so pleased for you that you had the courage to bring this up with your psychologist. I know it wasn't easy - all credit to you for taking that step! I hope that this will help you get to the bottom of some of the things that has been bringing you down recently. 

I saw your message on confidential support and I have replied to that already. Is there anything else you would like to advice on at this point? Please know that we are always here for you.