Sorta Lonley

[Sincerely, Frog]

So, i got recommended by a friend to check this out and i love this! I havent seen anything negative, but i was just curious about one thing. Is it alright if i came onto here to find help with coming out and also finding people with my same interests? sorry if this is a dumb thing to post about, i just wanted to make sure I wasn't doing anything wrong.

[Sincerely, Frog]

Also, sorry if i put this in the wrong forum

[-Leila-]

1 hour ago, Sincerely, Frog said:

So, i got recommended by a friend to check this out and i love this! I havent seen anything negative, but i was just curious about one thing. Is it alright if i came onto here to find help with coming out and also finding people with my same interests? sorry if this is a dumb thing to post about, i just wanted to make sure I wasn't doing anything wrong.

Heya!

[Sincerely, Frog]

Hi

[Hazard]

2 hours ago, Sincerely, Frog said:

So, i got recommended by a friend to check this out and i love this! I havent seen anything negative, but i was just curious about one thing. Is it alright if i came onto here to find help with coming out and also finding people with my same interests? sorry if this is a dumb thing to post about, i just wanted to make sure I wasn't doing anything wrong.

Hey, nice to meet you. Yes, it is alright to do both of these things, and no, not a dumb thing to post about =)

[Monsoon]

17 hours ago, Sincerely, Frog said:

So, i got recommended by a friend to check this out and i love this! I havent seen anything negative, but i was just curious about one thing. Is it alright if i came onto here to find help with coming out and also finding people with my same interests? sorry if this is a dumb thing to post about, i just wanted to make sure I wasn't doing anything wrong.

Hey there,

This is exactly the kind of thing we help with. I'm one of the digital mentors here and I give advice to those who reach out :)

Would you like to tell me more about the things you'd like support with? 

[Sincerely, Frog]

4 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

This is exactly the kind of thing we help with. I'm one of the digital mentors here and I give advice to those who reach out :)

Would you like to tell me more about the things you'd like support with? 

Thanks for replying! I am part of the LGBTQ+ community, though I don't really feel comfortable saying my gender and sexuality online just yet. I know my family isn't homophobic, but i still have this deep feeling that if i come out they'll see me differently, but not in a good way. A couple years ago, i was coming to terms with me being part of the LGBTQ+ community and me telling people i was _ (This is not my sexuality now, i have gone through multiple revelations), and my parents figured out, and ever since then i have been super stealthy. Even coming on here makes me feel like i am dissapointing them in some way, even though this is completely anonymous, and they let me join other websites that are less anonymous then this. And i know i have people i can talk to, I have a family friend to which i am out about my sexuality, i have amazing friends and even a therapist, but i dont even feel comfortable going to my therapist about certain things. So i just need help and support on coming out. I don't want to hide and be a different person in front of my parents. Sorry if this is really rambly.

[Egg]

Nope! Not long at all! This was shorter than my posts when I think I'm rambling!

[Monsoon]

18 hours ago, Sincerely, Frog said:

Thanks for replying! I am part of the LGBTQ+ community, though I don't really feel comfortable saying my gender and sexuality online just yet. I know my family isn't homophobic, but i still have this deep feeling that if i come out they'll see me differently, but not in a good way. A couple years ago, i was coming to terms with me being part of the LGBTQ+ community and me telling people i was _ (This is not my sexuality now, i have gone through multiple revelations), and my parents figured out, and ever since then i have been super stealthy. Even coming on here makes me feel like i am dissapointing them in some way, even though this is completely anonymous, and they let me join other websites that are less anonymous then this. And i know i have people i can talk to, I have a family friend to which i am out about my sexuality, i have amazing friends and even a therapist, but i dont even feel comfortable going to my therapist about certain things. So i just need help and support on coming out. I don't want to hide and be a different person in front of my parents. Sorry if this is really rambly.

Hey there,

This isn't rambly at all and it all makes complete sense. It's interesting that you feel like you are disappointing your parents in some way; can you tell me more about that? I'm wondering, in terms of coming out, who would you like to tell next? Let's start at that point and then go from there to talk about how you might go about this. Take care and speak soon :) 

[Sincerely, Frog]

3 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

This isn't rambly at all and it all makes complete sense. It's interesting that you feel like you are disappointing your parents in some way; can you tell me more about that? I'm wondering, in terms of coming out, who would you like to tell next? Let's start at that point and then go from there to talk about how you might go about this. Take care and speak soon :) 

Thanks for replying again! I think I feel like my parents are disappointed in me because, whenever i had previously joined a website, they always lectured me on stranger danger. And i am terrified that they will find this, and take away my technology privileges. And i constantly have to tell myself that i am doing this for me, i am not outright saying my name or anything personal except that i identify as LGBTQ+, which is a wide range of sexuality's and genders. But still, everytime i open my web browser to see if anything has changed on my account, 2 thoughts drift through my head. The first being, 'You have a therapist already, you're just wasting the mentor's time, since they could be helping other people that don't have access to a therapist, and your parents are so dissapointed in you for doing this behind their back.' But then the other is this, 'It's okay that you dont really feel comfortable talking to your therapist or your parents about this. You are getting help and its better than suffering in silence.'  So the 2 voices in my head are sorta at odds right now as i am writing this. 

 

In terms of coming out to someone, i have had my mind set on coming out to a very close family friend of mine. I have tried multiple times to talk to them, but i always back out. The family friend is very supportive of the LGBTQ+ community, and i see them like a family member. But the only reason i always stop myself is because i have sorta trust problems. I am terrified that they are going to out me, even though i know they won't. I dont see the family friend as often as i used to, so i don't even know when i could talk to them about this. 

 

 

So there you go.

 

 

[Hazard]

9 minutes ago, Sincerely, Frog said:

Thanks for replying again! I think I feel like my parents are disappointed in me because, whenever i had previously joined a website, they always lectured me on stranger danger. And i am terrified that they will find this, and take away my technology privileges. And i constantly have to tell myself that i am doing this for me, i am not outright saying my name or anything personal except that i identify as LGBTQ+, which is a wide range of sexuality's and genders. But still, everytime i open my web browser to see if anything has changed on my account, 2 thoughts drift through my head. The first being, 'You have a therapist already, you're just wasting the mentor's time, since they could be helping other people that don't have access to a therapist, and your parents are so dissapointed in you for doing this behind their back.' But then the other is this, 'It's okay that you dont really feel comfortable talking to your therapist or your parents about this. You are getting help and its better than suffering in silence.'  So the 2 voices in my head are sorta at odds right now as i am writing this. 

In terms of coming out to someone, i have had my mind set on coming out to a very close family friend of mine. I have tried multiple times to talk to them, but i always back out. The family friend is very supportive of the LGBTQ+ community, and i see them like a family member. But the only reason i always stop myself is because i have sorta trust problems. I am terrified that they are going to out me, even though i know they won't. I dont see the family friend as often as i used to, so i don't even know when i could talk to them about this. 

So there you go.

For the first part, I'm in the same situation. A few cards to pull out is that this IS a registered charity, and no one can message you privately except certain people who are doing it for your wellbeing

[Egg]

what ever happens, Frog, I'll be there for you!

[Monsoon]

20 hours ago, Sincerely, Frog said:

Thanks for replying again! I think I feel like my parents are disappointed in me because, whenever i had previously joined a website, they always lectured me on stranger danger. And i am terrified that they will find this, and take away my technology privileges. And i constantly have to tell myself that i am doing this for me, i am not outright saying my name or anything personal except that i identify as LGBTQ+, which is a wide range of sexuality's and genders. But still, everytime i open my web browser to see if anything has changed on my account, 2 thoughts drift through my head. The first being, 'You have a therapist already, you're just wasting the mentor's time, since they could be helping other people that don't have access to a therapist, and your parents are so dissapointed in you for doing this behind their back.' But then the other is this, 'It's okay that you dont really feel comfortable talking to your therapist or your parents about this. You are getting help and its better than suffering in silence.'  So the 2 voices in my head are sorta at odds right now as i am writing this. 

In terms of coming out to someone, i have had my mind set on coming out to a very close family friend of mine. I have tried multiple times to talk to them, but i always back out. The family friend is very supportive of the LGBTQ+ community, and i see them like a family member. But the only reason i always stop myself is because i have sorta trust problems. I am terrified that they are going to out me, even though i know they won't. I dont see the family friend as often as i used to, so i don't even know when i could talk to them about this. 

So there you go.

Hey there,

It sounds like you're engaging a lot with that negative voice in your head at the moment, and this is really common when you're going through a big chance and considering something important, and it can come down to nerves a lot of the time. With speaking to us, your second point is spot on about how you are getting help which is better than suffering in silence. We are more than happy to help you an completely appreciate that you don't feel comfortable telling your therapist. This is your safe space and you can talk about absolutely anything. 

Also, it sounds like you have someone you can really trust in the family friend. I'm wondering, do you have their number or social media to contact them on at all? 

[Sincerely, Frog]

2 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

It sounds like you're engaging a lot with that negative voice in your head at the moment, and this is really common when you're going through a big chance and considering something important, and it can come down to nerves a lot of the time. With speaking to us, your second point is spot on about how you are getting help which is better than suffering in silence. We are more than happy to help you an completely appreciate that you don't feel comfortable telling your therapist. This is your safe space and you can talk about absolutely anything. 

Also, it sounds like you have someone you can really trust in the family friend. I'm wondering, do you have their number or social media to contact them on at all? 

I do not have their phone number, and i have no forms of social media. I could find their phone number if i check my family's computer though

[Monsoon]

16 hours ago, Sincerely, Frog said:

I do not have their phone number, and i have no forms of social media. I could find their phone number if i check my family's computer though

Hey there,

Yeah, maybe do that then and reach out to them. It's so important to build your support network like that, so definitely open up if you feel ready. What do you think? 

[Sincerely, Frog]

31 minutes ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

Yeah, maybe do that then and reach out to them. It's so important to build your support network like that, so definitely open up if you feel ready. What do you think? 

Ok. I will try that today. 

[Egg]

Good luck!

[Sincerely, Frog]

4 hours ago, Sincerely, Frog said:

Ok. I will try that today. 

I just got their number, and i am not quite sure on how to say that i am LGBTQ. Any ideas?

[Egg]

Do you remember how Jamie Dodger came out to Shaaba?

[Sincerely, Frog]

49 minutes ago, Egg said:

Do you remember how Jamie Dodger came out to Shaaba?

Im gonna have to say no, but how?

[Egg]

Jamie waited util they were alone and then said "You know LGTB? I'm the T." It's just a suggestion if you want to do something like that.

[Sincerely, Frog]

16 minutes ago, Egg said:

Jamie waited util they were alone and then said "You know LGTB? I'm the T." It's just a suggestion if you want to do something like that.

Maybe, except i am part of the plus, so I'll have to say that.

[Egg]

pk

[Egg]

*ok

[Sincerely, Frog]

Update 10/10/22: i have not yet come out to my family friend, but i will tomorrow, since it will be national coming out day.