Introduction

[Yurihead]

Hey there, Yurihead here. I wasn’t going to do this but I read an article and figured I’ve got nothing to lose by reading some BS that may help me from a person who was helped by that BS. 
 

Here’s a brief intro: Hi I’m Yurihead, lonely lesbian, underage, living with homophobic parents and such a pessimist when it comes to homosexuality that I myself may be homophobic and gay at the same time.

 

[Aurora]

5 hours ago, Yurihead said:

Hey there, Yurihead here. I wasn’t going to do this but I read an article and figured I’ve got nothing to lose by reading some BS that may help me from a person who was helped by that BS. 
 

Here’s a brief intro: Hi I’m Yurihead, lonely lesbian, underage, living with homophobic parents and such a pessimist when it comes to homosexuality that I myself may be homophobic and gay at the same time.

Hi @Yurihead, welcome to Ditch the Label! This is a really welcoming and supportive community here and it's a safe space to talk about anything you like. I hope you will find it helpful. I'm Aurora and I'm one of the support mentors here. I give advice and support to those who reach out to us. 

Thank you for your honest intro. It sounds like you have a lot going on, lots of conflicting feelings and that you're not feeling very supported. Is that right? Would you like to tell me a bit more about what's going on?  

[Yurihead]

The long and short of it is that I’ve never been fond of my sexuality or the fact that I’m gay. The word “queer” is quite literally synonymous with “abnormal” and being queer is by definition being out of the ordinary. It’s not as though I feel envy toward cis-het people or that I myself wish to be straight. The fact that I like women is the whole reason this issue is occurring, I just have no clue how anyone can feel comfortable or even PROUD of their sexuality. I know my label, I say my label, I look for other people with the same label, and I fucking hate it more than anything. I don’t long for any other sexuality I just hate mine. It’s dumb. I hate being gay.

[-Leila-]

Hello welcome 

[Aurora]

16 hours ago, Yurihead said:

The long and short of it is that I’ve never been fond of my sexuality or the fact that I’m gay. The word “queer” is quite literally synonymous with “abnormal” and being queer is by definition being out of the ordinary. It’s not as though I feel envy toward cis-het people or that I myself wish to be straight. The fact that I like women is the whole reason this issue is occurring, I just have no clue how anyone can feel comfortable or even PROUD of their sexuality. I know my label, I say my label, I look for other people with the same label, and I fucking hate it more than anything. I don’t long for any other sexuality I just hate mine. It’s dumb. I hate being gay.

Thank you so much for opening up about how you feel. I know it can be difficult to talk about our internal battles. I have noticed that you are already talking to Monsoon about this in a different post. I just wanted to check if you would like to have my input as well or if you're happy to talk it through with Monsoon? 

[Yurihead]

I wanted to hear multiple perspectives on how to deal with feeling uncomfortable in your own sexual orientation so I’d appreciate  any input from any digital mentor. Any advice you have to give is welcome

[Aurora]

On 10/5/2022 at 3:54 PM, Yurihead said:

I wanted to hear multiple perspectives on how to deal with feeling uncomfortable in your own sexual orientation so I’d appreciate  any input from any digital mentor. Any advice you have to give is welcome

Of course. It can often be helpful to hear multiple perspectives. Firstly, I'd like to reassure you that there are lots of others, who also feel uncomfortable with their sexuality. I think that this is why you might be hearing people refer to the process of exploring our sexuality and finding out more about ourselves as a journey. Things do change over time and even though you might hate your sexuality right now, it doesn't mean that you will always feel like that. I think one of the big things that might play into you having these kind of feelings is socialisation. You might have heard of socialisation before. We're taught from a young age, about our cultural norms and values, usually through the adults around us (eg our parents, other family members and teachers). This also happens with our views on sexuality. So if we grow up in a community where we are taught, that being heterosexual is 'normal' and 'right", then this is what we start to believe. Even if this isn't actually the case. If we then realise that we yourself don't fit in with this norm, it's very common to have these thoughts, where we hate this aspect about ourself. Does that make sense? And do you think that this might be why you are feeling the way you are? 

[Yurihead]

That makes sense and it probably right, but identifying the problem is only the first stage of solving it. How is it that people feel comfortable in their sexuality?

[Cal_The_Oyster]

19 hours ago, Yurihead said:

That makes sense and it probably right, but identifying the problem is only the first stage of solving it. How is it that people feel comfortable in their sexuality?

Realise that you are special and worthy of finding that special someone. And just know that someone somewhere in this world is tryna find someone like you 

[Yurihead]

I don’t think anyone’s ever said something like that to me. “Someone, somewhere”; when you put it like that it makes it sound like I’m this great guy. I think if my mum said that to me instead of “I'll chase off any shitty boyfriend you bring home” I might’ve come out to her already. Thank you, that’s really sweet of you

[-Leila-]

14 minutes ago, Yurihead said:

I don’t think anyone’s ever said something like that to me. “Someone, somewhere”; when you put it like that it makes it sound like I’m this great guy. I think if my mum said that to me instead of “I'll chase off any shitty boyfriend you bring home” I might’ve come out to her already. Thank you, that’s really sweet of you

You are an awesome person, you shine bright! I hope you’re okay!

[Yurihead]

Careful who you trust, I could be a terrible person behind this screen and you’d have no way of knowing :)

[-Leila-]

3 minutes ago, Yurihead said:

Careful who you trust, I could be a terrible person behind this screen and you’d have no way of knowing :)

Ok

[Cal_The_Oyster]

2 hours ago, Yurihead said:

I don’t think anyone’s ever said something like that to me. “Someone, somewhere”; when you put it like that it makes it sound like I’m this great guy. I think if my mum said that to me instead of “I'll chase off any shitty boyfriend you bring home” I might’ve come out to her already. Thank you, that’s really sweet of you

You deserve the truth. I'm sorry your mum doesnt see how amazing you are.

Trust me I know the feeling.  Mine doesnt accept my identity but accepted my sexuality 

[Cal_The_Oyster]

2 hours ago, Yurihead said:

Careful who you trust, I could be a terrible person behind this screen and you’d have no way of knowing :)

Well if i dont know then I dont care. You seem like a lovely person virtually who (apart from uourself) can convince me otherwise?

[Yurihead]

Thank you, genuinely. You seem like a joy to be around as well, I’m sorry your parents aren’t accepting of who you are either, but at least you had the courage to tell them. That makes you a stronger man than me, I don’t think I’ll ever tell my parents.

[Cal_The_Oyster]

3 minutes ago, Yurihead said:

Thank you, genuinely. You seem like a joy to be around as well, I’m sorry your parents aren’t accepting of who you are either, but at least you had the courage to tell them. That makes you a stronger man than me, I don’t think I’ll ever tell my parents.

Hey listen if you're lesbian then GO FIND THAT GIRL ANC LET NO MORTAL GRT IN YOUR WAY MY GOOD AND GRACIOUS QUEEN

[Yurihead]

I appreciate the sentiment but she’s taken and we’ve already spoken before and after she came out. I’d say we’re friends but we don’t have many common interests and have our own established friend groups already so we don’t really have any reason to talk to each other. She’s a nice girl but that’s about it. 

[Cal_The_Oyster]

1 minute ago, Yurihead said:

I appreciate the sentiment but she’s taken and we’ve already spoken before and after she came out. I’d say we’re friends but we don’t have many common interests and have our own established friend groups already so we don’t really have any reason to talk to each other. She’s a nice girl but that’s about it. 

Ah I see. Sorry for coming off a lil eccentric

[Cal_The_Oyster]

1 minute ago, Yurihead said:

I appreciate the sentiment but she’s taken and we’ve already spoken before and after she came out. I’d say we’re friends but we don’t have many common interests and have our own established friend groups already so we don’t really have any reason to talk to each other. She’s a nice girl but that’s about it. 

Either way how do you identify in terms of gender. I cant hell but wonder. Sorry again if it's too personal

[Cal_The_Oyster]

Help*

[Yurihead]

2 minutes ago, Thisboiistrans said:

Ah I see. Sorry for coming off a lil eccentric

It’s completely fine, new relationships can be exiting to watch :)

[Yurihead]

Also, I’m a cisgender female and I go by She / Her pronouns, it’s fine if you’re curious :)

[Cal_The_Oyster]

Fine by me. Nice to meet a cis person outside my irl friends. Apart from one other person I'm surrounded by girls 

[Cal_The_Oyster]

5 minutes ago, Yurihead said:

It’s completely fine, new relationships can be exiting to watch :)

I agree