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I really don’t know what to do or what I am (LONG. LIKE SUPER LONG)


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So I'm a 14 year old girl and idk what I identify as. I started questioning my orientation when I was 11 but now I'm feeling more confused. When I started middle school, I thought that my questioning was just a phase. Then when I started the year I had a crush on this girl and I was just like ?dammit I thought this was over'. Then this past year I've had crushes on three girls and I'm just like -_- I've talked to a trusted friend about this and she's been very chill and accepting but I don't want to feel like I'm bothering her every time I wanna talk about stuff like this. It's just that idk if gay or bi because I used to have a male crush back in elmentary school but it ended when I started questioning. And then if I'm bi, I don't know if I'm bi or pan or anything like that. I would want to talk to my parents about this but I'm starting to catch onto homophobic things that they're saying when I talk about an lgbt character in a tv show or movie. And then I want to start expressing myself more by dressing in a more masculine way because it feels more comfortable and natural. I keep wanting to buy clothes in this style but my mom stops me because she says I'll look like a boy or a lesbian and I'm just like do I say something or... ugh I just hate this so much. If someone out there cares please share some kind advice because I'm becoming desperate and depressed.

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  • 3 weeks later...

I know how you feel. I got my first crush a couple of days ago and she's a girl! She has already come out. I don't know what to do! All I can think about is kissing her. My parents are totally cool with this stuff. Right now. I have no Idea how they will act after I tell them. (Hopefully stop trying to have me read weird sex stuff.) I went to a camp and they made me dance with boys and it was so incredibly awkward. It was a Cristian camp so they didn't understand that I was lesbian. It is all so confusing. At least someone knows what it is like to be going through this.

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Hey BlueGreen. Just a quick question - what do you mean by your parents making you read weird sex stuff?


-Monsoon :)


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Heyyyy Friggles!


Thanks for coming to us for advice. You are not alone :D


I know how hard it is to be confused about your sexuality. How are you feeling about this? It's great that your friend is chilled about it. I wouldn't worry about pestering them. That's what friends are for :).


I'm sorry to hear that your parents say such things. It's important to know that such opinions are often the product of upbringing or religion and don't actually represent the way a lot of people actually feel. It may just be the acceptable way to feel in their society. Please know that the problem is not your sexuality, but the problem lies in the opinions of those who say such things. You don't need to change :)


The problem is that society puts a lot of pressure on us to know who we are from a young age. The thing is, realising these things can often take time. It is important to have patience with such things. Getting to know yourself is a life-long process, so it is essential to just enjoy the process of realisation.


Here are some articles you may find helpful:






I hope this is helpful. Let me know if not and we can figure something out.


Hang in there! -Monsoon :)


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