Im struggling with my sexuality.

[everly]

Im a female and Ive recently been questioning my sexuality. Ive recently been identifying as pansexual. My reason for this is that i truly believe that gender should not restrict me from liking a person. For me, sex is not an important part in a relationship, but rather the experience. Does that make sense? I don't care if a person is male, female, or other, i just want someone to love me, for me. Ive only had relationships with males so far, all have ended extremely poorly) and i attend a pretty small school and there are not any people that can relate to me. Ive lately been questioning if i am bisexual, pansexual, or just bicurious. Ive mentioned the LGBTQ community to my parents awhile ago and they told me its a mental issue and Ive broke down because of that since it made me feel that something is wrong with me but Ive recently come out to my mom about sexuality, and she was hesitant, but she eventually tolerated it. On the other hand, my dad seems quite disgusted with the LGBTQ whenever they're mentioned so ive decided against coming out to him, for the fear of him being ashamed or disappointed in me. I know i shouldn't worry about a label too much(and i know that it could change for me) but i just don't enjoy being in this constant stage of confusion. Thank you for your time.

[Monsoon]

Hey EVERLY,

 

Thanks for coming to us for support - you're not alone and we can help you through this.

 

Sorry to hear about what you are going through. How are you feeling about all of this?

 

It's great that the label isn't important to you. So many people are in a rush to decide their sexuality as the label provides a sense of belonging which I TOTALLY get. However, this kind of thing can't be rushed, and you just have to be patient. Life is a constant journey of lessons, and you will never stop learning about yourself - you don't have to make a final decision on anything right now. Just enjoy the experiences along the way.

 

I am glad your mum now tolerates it. It takes time for parents with such views to come to terms with it, so i'm glad she has done and I hope that tolerance will lead to complete acceptance. Do you think the same thing could happen to your dad? As long as they know how important it is to you that you are accepted, then they should eventually come to terms with it and realise that you are still the same, great person.

 

Here are some help guides you may find useful:

 

https://www.ditchthelabel.org/coming-out-homophobic-parents/

 

https://www.ditchthelabel.org/8-things-know-questioning-sexuality/

 

How does this sound?

 

Sending positive vibes! -Monsoon