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Having doubts about my sexuality.


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So, I am currently 19 years old and I've been identifying as bisexual for almost 4 years now (I was 15 when I first came to terms with my sexuality; I told my parents pretty much right away). I'm certarin that I am attracted to both men and women, however, my attractions tend to fluctuate, making me wonder if I'll wake up one day and realize that I've been gay or straight all along. Is it common for bisexuals to feel one way about men, and another about women? And for it to change as it does for me? Thank you! 🙏

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Hey Browneyedgirl!


Thanks for coming to us for advice; we are here to help you :)


How are you feeling about this? I can imagine that the confusion can be pretty distressing, so I hope you're okay!


I think that it is common to go through confusion like this in general life. It could just be that you prefer one over the other. It is important to be at peace with this, as it may continue for a while. Life often throws experiences at us which makes us question who we really are. If you do wake up one day and realise you have been gay or straight all along, it's okay :).


Try to focus on other things that you enjoy in your life, and everything will eventually fall into place eventually. It is just one of those things which requires patience. Don't let it eat you up if you can :)


Here is a help guide you may find useful:




I hope you find this advice helpful - I look forward to hearing back from you.


-Monsoon :)


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I didn't think I would be getting a reply this quickly! It can be quite distressing at times. Ah, I think I should add a bit of a backstory -- I've been questioning my sexuality since 12 years old. Growing up, I've only had a handful of crushes. (I don't crush easily) One of them sticks out to me the most because I've never felt that way towards a boy before. It was in kindergarten. I felt so strongly about this little blonde girl, I'd go home thinking about her. Lol At the time, it didn't register with me that I liked her because in my head it wasn't an option. I didn't know any queer people, so that made things even more difficult. Then puberty happened and my attraction to girls intesified. I started having frequent sexual (as well as romantic) fantasies about girls. Not much has really changed since then. I go through periods of preferring one gender over the other, then to being equally attracted to both/all. I did notice that I'm more sexually drawn to women, though. Lately I've been considering the label ''fluid''? I know, I shouldn't worry about labels, but they provide me with a sense of belonging. It's something I've never had.

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I can be pretty hasty with my replies, haha! Thanks for getting back to me.


As I mentioned, it is important to become comfortable and patient with this kind of thing.The waiting is the hard part though, but it will all happen naturally! The label fluid sounds very appropriate for your current situation. I get how having a label can provide a sense of belonging. You could go with that for now and just see what happens in the near future. Things will all be clear one day :)




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