Coming Out To My Parents

[Non-Binary Person Here]

4 years ago, I came out to my mom as Lesbian. Over the last year, I found myself being Bi. My mom accepted me, but I was afraid of telling my dad. My dad isn't the nicest person as he leads others to believe. We got into a big argument and he said that he hated me. And one day he had gotten mad and told me he would always choose his girlfriend over me, which he denied that he said. To this day, I still don't forgive him. I often wonder if he actually loves me. But, then I told my parents that I wasn't comfortable being a girl and that I would like to be called a different name. They got made and said that I should be grateful for the name I have. I feel like it doesn't fit me. What do I do?? Please help me!

[Monsoon]

4 hours ago, Non-Binary Person Here said:

4 years ago, I came out to my mom as Lesbian. Over the last year, I found myself being Bi. My mom accepted me, but I was afraid of telling my dad. My dad isn't the nicest person as he leads others to believe. We got into a big argument and he said that he hated me. And one day he had gotten mad and told me he would always choose his girlfriend over me, which he denied that he said. To this day, I still don't forgive him. I often wonder if he actually loves me. But, then I told my parents that I wasn't comfortable being a girl and that I would like to be called a different name. They got made and said that I should be grateful for the name I have. I feel like it doesn't fit me. What do I do?? Please help me!

Hey,

Welcome to the DTL community. I'm one of the digital mentors here and I give advice to those who reach out to us. I just want you to know that you've come to the right place for support and we are here to help you through this, so just know that you aren't alone in this difficult time of your life.

I just want to start by saying that I'm really sorry to hear how your dad has been treating you. I can imagine that it was really hurtful for you to hear him say he would choose his girlfriend over you. How did that make you feel? Have you ever spoken to him about it?

Also, I'm wondering, with your parents, what else did they say when you told them about your gender?

[Non-Binary Person Here]

To start 1. I was really hurt when he said that to me. 2. I tried to talk to him but he wouldn't listen. 3. My mom said she would accept me but I had to keep the name I was given. My dad wouldn't even listen to what I had to say. They said they would accept me for who I want to be. They aren't being very accepting. And it hurts.

[ProcrastinatingRavenclaw]

Well, they might not. But it takes time for them to realize that you are finding yourswlf, but it's not quite they way they imagined. Thye just want what's best for you, and they might not realize that they're affecring your confidence in who you are. But stand tall. Show them you are PROUD of who you are, binary or non binary.

[Non-Binary Person Here]

Thank you for your confidence in me. I really need comfort these days. A lot of things are happening in my family that its getting really stressful for me. I'm glad I found this site.

 

 

 

[ProcrastinatingRavenclaw]

Of course! Family life is stressful. They mean well, but it doesn't always come out that way. Sometimes they want you to be them, but they forget, you're different. You are your own person, and if anyone tells you different, they're wrong. Family is messy. And judging people, especially family, because of who they choose to be is one of the most despicable things you can do.

Edited September 12, 2022 by ProcrastinatingRavenclaw

[Non-Binary Person Here]

What should I do or say to help them understand?