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Homophobic Family


LemonboyEmmy Β  Β 

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This post has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Self-Harm

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I was outed to my parents around May, and since then things have only gone downhill when it comes to my relationship with my family, especially my dad. It's really hard on me, and at the same time, they just started realizing I might be messed up in the head because I had a panic attack at home because of really bad gender dysphoria (I'm transmasc). I ended up cutting my hair pretty short in a moment of blind desperation. My dad called me "chemically imbalanced" and they literally didn't let me go to school or to my friend's graduation because they thought I would hurt myself. Why cant they understand that what they are doing isΒ causingΒ those feelings? And they promised therapy, but every time I ask my mum says they are "just really busy". And now that they know I'm queer things are really awkward at home- they act like I'm doing this out of spite or rebelion. Like I'd choose to be invalidated by my own family just because I wat to? They are being selfish and don't stop to think that what they do is making everything worse. I don't know wat to do, so far none has been able to help me.

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Hey there,

Thank you for sharing this with us. It sounds like you've got a lot going on at the moment, especially with the dysphoria, and I can imagine that you really just need some downtime to feel relaxed and calm, but I feel that's hard in your current home environment; is that fair to say? With everything that's going on, I'm wondering, what is one small change that you could help put in place to make things slight better? Also, with the therapy, could you maybe ask you mum to sort it out by a certain date so that it's more likely to happen?

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47 minutes ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

Thank you for sharing this with us. It sounds like you've got a lot going on at the moment, especially with the dysphoria, and I can imagine that you really just need some downtime to feel relaxed and calm, but I feel that's hard in your current home environment; is that fair to say? With everything that's going on, I'm wondering, what is one small change that you could help put in place to make things slight better? Also, with the therapy, could you maybe ask you mum to sort it out by a certain date so that it's more likely to happen?

I just want them to talk to me about it. But whenever we try and talk, it ends up with my dad yelling and my mum upset, and I'll be having a panic attack by the end of it. I just want to be able to have a logical and respectful conversation without being insulted or shot down.

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Hey,

Yeah, it sounds like a logical and respectful conversation would do you all the world of good, however, it's clearly highly emotional for all of them, and I'm wondering, is that realistic? Could you ask another family member to come along, or a friend perhaps? Having someone else present usually helps to neutralise the situation. What do you think?

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Actually, maybe that would help. I just'd have to figure out who, lol

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18 hours ago, LemonboyEmmy said:

Actually, maybe that would help. I just'd have to figure out who, lol

Hey. Yeah, I definitely think it would help. Who would you say that you're closest to and trust the most?

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my friends. but i dont wanna pull them into this

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23 hours ago, LemonboyEmmy said:

my friends. but i dont wanna pull them into this

Yeah, I completely get that. Who would your first choice be from your family?

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thats the problem- i dont really know. They are all too loyal to my parents, they wouldn't dissagree with them.Β 

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