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sflowergirl
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  • Digital Mentor
2 hours ago, sflowergirl said:

so I need help...

I think I am Bi I took like 1000 tests last night and I need help how did you know? and how did you tell peopleΒ 

thanks!!

-sflowergirl

Hey @sflowergirl

Welcome to the DTL community. I'm one of the digital mentors here and I give advice to those who reach out to us.Β  I hope you don't mind, but I merged your topics together as they were similar.

I'm hoping that some of our bi community members can share their experiences here to help you out. I'm wondering, on a scale of 1-10, with 1=not confident at all and 10=extremely confident, how confident are you that you're bisexual? Also, can you tell me why you think you're bi?

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  • Digital Mentor
11 hours ago, sflowergirl said:

Hi @Monsoon thanks for helping me!

on a scale from 1-10 I would say 7 because I have always been attracted to guys but now over two years I am starting to have feeling for girls

Hey,

No worries, we are always here to help! It sounds like you're pretty confident in knowing your sexuality, but for some reason, you are still holding back and looking for confirmation from others. Why do you think that is?

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hi @Monsoon!

I think that if I tell my friends it might be weird because they will think I like them romantically even though I dont and thats why it confuses me because I don't know why I don't like anyone, I just feel attracted to girls. also if I tell my family it might make things weird. I feel like I'll just ruin everythingΒ πŸ˜”

thanks

@sflowergirl

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  • Digital Mentor

Hey,

It's completely normal to feel like coming out will have a negative impact, but so many people are surprised when they think that because after coming out, it's very often the complete opposite of ruining everything, and many people talk of how much richer and happier their lives become.Β  I'm wondering, what evidence do you have which shows you that sharing your news will ruin everything?Β 

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Hi @Monsoon

I have 2 brothers who are younger than me and two strict Hispanic-Italian parentsΒ  who are I guess what you would call allies butΒ  I feel like if I told them things would be super awkward and they would probably be more strict. My friends also are allies its just I feel like they might think I have feelings for them if I tell them that I am bi. I guess maybe I am overthinking things and maybe it has to to with a prior thing I had with someone but I feel like I could really screw up my life right now...

thanks for being so supportive

@sflowergirl

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  • Digital Mentor

Hey,

I think it's completely normal to overthink in this kind of situation; coming out is a vulnerable experience and it can be really easy to get caught up in your own thoughts. I'm wondering, what kind of benefits do you think that being able to be out and authentic would have on your life?

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On 8/6/2022 at 4:45 PM, sflowergirl said:

hi @Monsoon!

I think that if I tell my friends it might be weird because they will think I like them romantically even though I dont and thats why it confuses me because I don't know why I don't like anyone, I just feel attracted to girls. also if I tell my family it might make things weird. I feel like I'll just ruin everythingΒ πŸ˜”

thanks

@sflowergirl

Hey, if your friends do say that they think that, you can always remind them that just because you like girls doesn't mean you like all girls, just like they don't like everyone in the gender they're attracted to

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Hi @Monsoon

I fee like I could finally find my self like I could be myself and I didn't have to hide it from everybody or worry about what they think. Mostly I feel like if I do this I am one step closer to finding out who I really am. But I feel like even if I do do this people will hate me for it.

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2 hours ago, Emberfrost12 said:

Hey, if your friends do say that they think that, you can always remind them that just because you like girls doesn't mean you like all girls, just like they don't like everyone in the gender they're attracted to

good point I should have thought about that! thank you so much for being so supportive of me right now I am being so crazy I guess is how I can describe it.

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  • Digital Mentor
36 minutes ago, sflowergirl said:

Hi @Monsoon

I fee like I could finally find my self like I could be myself and I didn't have to hide it from everybody or worry about what they think. Mostly I feel like if I do this I am one step closer to finding out who I really am. But I feel like even if I do do this people will hate me for it.

Yeah, I totally agree that you could find yourself more. Hiding your feelings takes a lot of energy, and by being more open, you will have more mental space to focus on yourself. I'm wondering, would you like help towards trying to be more open? If so, that's definitely something we can help you work on.Β 

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  • Digital Mentor

It's interesting that your chest feels all constricted when you try to talk about this. The way to get through this kind of issue is to push your comfort zone which will mean feeling some discomfort but still going through with opening up. Doing this helps us to grow and realise that the negative thoughts we had around doing it were likely grounded in beliefs with little to no evidence. I'm wondering, what is a small goal you could set yourself to achieve in the next couple of weeks or so around this?Β 

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Hi @Monsoon

After a lot of research I have come up with a goal that I could set. Normally, I don't do this but I think that if I meditate I might be able to become more connected to myself and maybe alleviate some of my negative thoughts.

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