sflowergirl Posted August 5, 2022 Share Posted August 5, 2022 hi I think I am bi? like my friend keep asking me who I like and I cant really say because I don't know. can I have some advice? thank you guys!! thx MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sflowergirl Posted August 5, 2022 Author Share Posted August 5, 2022 hihi! I just joined so glad to be here MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-Leila- Posted August 5, 2022 Share Posted August 5, 2022 45 minutes ago, sflowergirl said: hihi! I just joined so glad to be here Welcome it's lovely to have you 1 MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sflowergirl Posted August 5, 2022 Author Share Posted August 5, 2022 Hi! thanks I am so new to all of this MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sflowergirl Posted August 5, 2022 Author Share Posted August 5, 2022 so I need help... I think I am Bi I took like 1000 tests last night and I need help how did you know? and how did you tell people thanks!! -sflowergirl MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted August 5, 2022 Share Posted August 5, 2022 2 hours ago, sflowergirl said: so I need help... I think I am Bi I took like 1000 tests last night and I need help how did you know? and how did you tell people thanks!! -sflowergirl Hey @sflowergirl Welcome to the DTL community. I'm one of the digital mentors here and I give advice to those who reach out to us. I hope you don't mind, but I merged your topics together as they were similar. I'm hoping that some of our bi community members can share their experiences here to help you out. I'm wondering, on a scale of 1-10, with 1=not confident at all and 10=extremely confident, how confident are you that you're bisexual? Also, can you tell me why you think you're bi? 1 MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sflowergirl Posted August 5, 2022 Author Share Posted August 5, 2022 Hi @Monsoon thanks for helping me! on a scale from 1-10 I would say 7 because I have always been attracted to guys but now over two years I am starting to have feeling for girls MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted August 6, 2022 Share Posted August 6, 2022 11 hours ago, sflowergirl said: Hi @Monsoon thanks for helping me! on a scale from 1-10 I would say 7 because I have always been attracted to guys but now over two years I am starting to have feeling for girls Hey, No worries, we are always here to help! It sounds like you're pretty confident in knowing your sexuality, but for some reason, you are still holding back and looking for confirmation from others. Why do you think that is? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sflowergirl Posted August 6, 2022 Author Share Posted August 6, 2022 hi @Monsoon! I think that if I tell my friends it might be weird because they will think I like them romantically even though I dont and thats why it confuses me because I don't know why I don't like anyone, I just feel attracted to girls. also if I tell my family it might make things weird. I feel like I'll just ruin everything thanks @sflowergirl MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted August 7, 2022 Share Posted August 7, 2022 Hey, It's completely normal to feel like coming out will have a negative impact, but so many people are surprised when they think that because after coming out, it's very often the complete opposite of ruining everything, and many people talk of how much richer and happier their lives become. I'm wondering, what evidence do you have which shows you that sharing your news will ruin everything? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sflowergirl Posted August 7, 2022 Author Share Posted August 7, 2022 Hi @Monsoon I have 2 brothers who are younger than me and two strict Hispanic-Italian parents who are I guess what you would call allies but I feel like if I told them things would be super awkward and they would probably be more strict. My friends also are allies its just I feel like they might think I have feelings for them if I tell them that I am bi. I guess maybe I am overthinking things and maybe it has to to with a prior thing I had with someone but I feel like I could really screw up my life right now... thanks for being so supportive @sflowergirl MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted August 7, 2022 Share Posted August 7, 2022 Hey, I think it's completely normal to overthink in this kind of situation; coming out is a vulnerable experience and it can be really easy to get caught up in your own thoughts. I'm wondering, what kind of benefits do you think that being able to be out and authentic would have on your life? 1 MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emberfrost12 Posted August 8, 2022 Share Posted August 8, 2022 On 8/6/2022 at 4:45 PM, sflowergirl said: hi @Monsoon! I think that if I tell my friends it might be weird because they will think I like them romantically even though I dont and thats why it confuses me because I don't know why I don't like anyone, I just feel attracted to girls. also if I tell my family it might make things weird. I feel like I'll just ruin everything thanks @sflowergirl Hey, if your friends do say that they think that, you can always remind them that just because you like girls doesn't mean you like all girls, just like they don't like everyone in the gender they're attracted to MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sflowergirl Posted August 8, 2022 Author Share Posted August 8, 2022 Hi @Monsoon I fee like I could finally find my self like I could be myself and I didn't have to hide it from everybody or worry about what they think. Mostly I feel like if I do this I am one step closer to finding out who I really am. But I feel like even if I do do this people will hate me for it. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sflowergirl Posted August 8, 2022 Author Share Posted August 8, 2022 2 hours ago, Emberfrost12 said: Hey, if your friends do say that they think that, you can always remind them that just because you like girls doesn't mean you like all girls, just like they don't like everyone in the gender they're attracted to good point I should have thought about that! thank you so much for being so supportive of me right now I am being so crazy I guess is how I can describe it. 1 MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted August 8, 2022 Share Posted August 8, 2022 36 minutes ago, sflowergirl said: Hi @Monsoon I fee like I could finally find my self like I could be myself and I didn't have to hide it from everybody or worry about what they think. Mostly I feel like if I do this I am one step closer to finding out who I really am. But I feel like even if I do do this people will hate me for it. Yeah, I totally agree that you could find yourself more. Hiding your feelings takes a lot of energy, and by being more open, you will have more mental space to focus on yourself. I'm wondering, would you like help towards trying to be more open? If so, that's definitely something we can help you work on. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sflowergirl Posted August 8, 2022 Author Share Posted August 8, 2022 yes that would really help me. I am usually open to talking about myself yet when I try to talk about this my chest feels all constricted like I am being crushed. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted August 9, 2022 Share Posted August 9, 2022 It's interesting that your chest feels all constricted when you try to talk about this. The way to get through this kind of issue is to push your comfort zone which will mean feeling some discomfort but still going through with opening up. Doing this helps us to grow and realise that the negative thoughts we had around doing it were likely grounded in beliefs with little to no evidence. I'm wondering, what is a small goal you could set yourself to achieve in the next couple of weeks or so around this? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sflowergirl Posted August 9, 2022 Author Share Posted August 9, 2022 Hi @Monsoon After a lot of research I have come up with a goal that I could set. Normally, I don't do this but I think that if I meditate I might be able to become more connected to myself and maybe alleviate some of my negative thoughts. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted August 9, 2022 Share Posted August 9, 2022 That's a really good idea. Maybe you can try meditating once a day for the next week or so and let us know how it goes? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sflowergirl Posted August 9, 2022 Author Share Posted August 9, 2022 I will thanks! 1 MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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